“The real presidency is the rich friends we made along the way,” Colbert said in response to Trump’s remark that he has “so many rich friends, and nobody knows who they are.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Ask No Questions, Hear No Lies
In her new book, “Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America,” Maggie Haberman, a reporter for The New York Times, writes about the end of Trump’s presidency.
On Monday night, Stephen Colbert detailed some tidbits from the forthcoming tell-all, including the former president’s denial that he was watching television on Jan. 6 as rioters stormed the Capitol.
“Really? Really? You’re accused of inciting an angry mob to storm the Capitol to prevent the peaceful transfer of power for the first in our nation’s history, and that’s the part of the testimony you’re taking issue with?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The former president also said other things to Haberman, including this anecdote about running for president: ‘The question I get asked more than any other question: If you had it to do again, would you have done it?’ OK, that’s clearly a lie. The question he gets asked more than any other is ‘Do you want fries with that?’ The answer is yes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“He continued: ‘The answer is, yeah, I think so. Because here’s the way I look at it — I have so many rich friends, and nobody knows who they are.’ Yep, the real presidency is the rich friends we made along the way.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
[Imitating Trump] “A lot of times I’m asked what’s the main question I get asked is. That’s a good question. Well, I tend to ask myself the thing people are asking the most, which is ‘What question which gets questioned of me gets asked of me by me.’ Any questions?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Father Figure Edition)
“Hold on — I’ve felt a great disturbance in the force, because we just learned that James Earl Jones is retiring from the role of Darth Vader in ‘Star Wars.’ He will now be playing Baby Yoda.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“You see? The Little Mermaid becomes Black and they take away James Earl Jones! I told you there would be backlash! I told you!” — TREVOR NOAH
“Instead of trying to find someone else to voice the part, Disney has said they are gonna use artificial intelligence to replicate Darth Vader’s voice. Yeah, I don’t know, people, this makes me a little nervous. Yeah, we think A.I. is going to take over the world, and now we’re going to teach it to use the dark side of the force? No one thinks this is a bad idea?” — TREVOR NOAH
“That voice is iconic. It belongs in Darth Vader’s body — or announcing CNN promos — but that’s it.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon announced his new bilingual children’s book, “Con Pollo,” co-written with Jennifer Lopez, on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
David Letterman will pop by Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Paintings by Andres Valencia, a 10-year-old fifth grader, have sold for more than $125,000.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
