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    Jimmy Kimmel Breaks Down MAGA’s Super Bowl Conspiracy Theories

    Is the N.F.L. rigged? Is Taylor Swift a psy-op? Kimmel says that “this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Chief ConcernsSupporters of former President Donald Trump are spreading conspiracy theories about the Super Bowl, Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs and his girlfriend, Taylor Swift.“Even this clown who ran for president, Vivek Ramaswamy, added his nut voice to the chorus of cuckoos,” Kimmel said on Tuesday. He pointed to the former G.O.P. candidate’s suggestion that Kelce and Swift were “an artificially culturally propped-up couple” and that the Super Bowl would be rigged, all to get President Biden re-elected.“And it’s not just on Twitter — this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes,” Kimmel said, calling the conspiracy theorists “not-too-Swifties.”“The same people who believe Joe Biden has dementia and needs Kamala Harris to feed him butterscotch tapioca every night also believe that he has somehow planned and executed a diabolically brilliant scheme to fix the N.F.L. playoffs so the biggest pop star in the world can pop up on the Jumbotron during the Super Bowl in between a Kia and a Tostitos commercial to hypnotize her 11-year-old fans into voting for Joe Biden. I mean, it makes sense. It makes total sense. These people — these people think football is fake and wrestling is real.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The average price for a ticket to see the Chiefs play the Niners is a little over $12,000 right now. But here’s the thing, it’s not just a football game; it’s also a live game of ‘Where’s Waldo?’ starring Taylor Swift, if you can spot her.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ten grand’s a lot for a football game, but it’s dirt cheap to see Taylor Swift live, I will say that.” — JIMMY FALLON“Nothing like being down ten grand before stepping foot in Vegas, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Where Credit Is Due Edition)“I saw that Trump just took credit for the record-high stock market under Biden. Trump was like, ‘If I had not not lost the election, this never would have happened.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even crazier, Trump said, ‘Eric and Don Jr.? That’s all Biden’s fault.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Chaos in the Middle East? Biden’s fault. Booming economy? All Donald Trump, three years after he left office! It’s incredible. You know, I’m starting to feel like he might be making some of this stuff up.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Tuesday’s “Late Show,” Emma Stone explained why she wants to compete on the noncelebrity version of “Jeopardy.” What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightLola Tung, star of “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday night ahead of her Broadway debut in “Hadestown.”Also, Check This OutKlaus Biesenbach, director of the Neue Nationalgalerie, and the artist Kandis Williams, a co-curator, at the opening of the exhibition.Andreas Meichsner for The New York TimesAn exhibition in Berlin, “Josephine Baker: Icon in Motion,” highlights the groundbreaking entertainer’s life, career and influence. More

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    Stephen Colbert Is Hoping for a Taylor Swift Super Bowl

    With the Kansas City Chiefs in the game, Colbert can’t wait to see “the biggest star in the N.F.L.” (if she can get there from Japan in time).Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Taylor Swift Super Bowl’On Sunday, Travis Kelce and the other Kansas City Chiefs beat the Baltimore Ravens, securing a spot in what Stephen Colbert now calls “the Taylor Swift Super Bowl.”On Monday night, Colbert declared that Swift, who is dating Kelce and brought extra attention to the league all season, is “the biggest star in the N.F.L.” “The whole thing has been great for the N.F.L. and for dads who struggle to bond with their teenage daughters.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, you’ve got the Super Bowl, and you have Taylor Swift. Ratings are going to be higher than Snoop Dogg at a Willie Nelson concert.” — JIMMY FALLON“But there are so many big questions about the Super Bowl. Can the 49ers contain Patrick Mahomes? Can the Chiefs stop Christian McCaffrey? And the one that most people care about: Can Taylor Swift make it there? ’Cause she has a concert in Japan the day before!” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s just too stressful. Why can’t she just do a concert somewhere closer, like Paris or Venice or New York? They’re all there in Vegas.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Of course, I hope Taylor makes it, because I really want to watch the Apple Music Super Bowl LVIII Halftime Show starring Shaky Footage of Taylor Swift Cheering in a Skybox, featuring Usher.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines ($83 Million Edition)“A jury in former President Trump’s defamation trial has ordered him to pay $83 million in damages. Yeah, in a related story, a bunch of classified documents just turned up on eBay.” — JIMMY FALLON“A Manhattan jury on Friday ordered former President Trump to pay nearly $84 million in his civil defamation case. Well, that explains the new fund-raising amounts.” — SETH MEYERS“Well, congratulations on the payday, Eric!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on E. Jean Carroll saying she wants to give the money Trump owes her to something he hates“Former President Trump said at a rally in Las Vegas over the weekend that he feels ‘sharper now than I did 20 years ago.’ Of course, based on all of his testimony, he doesn’t remember a single thing from 20 years ago.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Tonight Show” guest James Corden shared what life is like after leaving “The Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightElisabeth Moss, star of “The Veil,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutJoni Mitchell onstage at the Gorge Amphitheater in George, Wash., in June 2023. On Sunday, she will perform at the Grammys.Justin J Wee for The New York TimesJoni Mitchell will make her Grammys debut during this Sunday’s broadcast. More

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    Late Night Mocks Trump’s Three-Minute Testimony

    “We’re smack-dab in the heart of primary season, and Donald Trump is out there trying to win over the voters that matter most: his juries,” Stephen Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘No’ Means ‘No’Former President Donald Trump has been spending primary season balancing campaign events with court appearances.Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday that “Donald Trump is out there trying to win over the voters that matter most: his juries.”Trump testified as part of a defamation trial against him earlier in the day, where he defied the judge’s orders to answer questions with a “yes” or “no.”“Which is fitting, because the whole trial is the result of Trump disregarding everything after ‘no.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A jury is there to determine how much he will have to pay, and we know he doesn’t like to pay, so he showed up to speak on his own behalf. And everything went smoothly until the judge asked him to tell the truth, the whole truth, and everybody busted out laughing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He only lasted about three minutes. Then Stormy Daniels was, like, ‘Wow, a minute longer than I expected.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (MAGA Camp Edition)“Well, guys, as mentioned, Nikki Haley is refusing to drop out of the race, and Trump is still furious about it. Yep, Haley’s worried if she quits she’ll be humiliated or, worse, Trump’s V.P.” — JIMMY FALLON“In a post on Truth Social, former President Trump said that anyone who donates to Nikki Haley’s campaign will be permanently barred from the MAGA camp ‘from this moment forth.’ What? ‘From this moment forth?’ What’s going on? You know Trump is stressed when he starts talking like a dungeon master. ‘[imitating Trump] From this moment forth, all my enemies shall bow before me!” — SETH MEYERS“Wow, what does ‘barred from the MAGA camp’ even mean? Like, what, you’re not invited to the next insurrection?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you’re wondering what MAGA camp is, it’s like Boy Scout camp, except the badges are for things like tax evasion, election fraud, lying about your golf score.” — SETH MEYERS“At this point, Haley knows she can’t win, but she’s having way too much fun watching Trump lose his mind.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJustin Timberlake joined Jimmy Fallon and The Roots for a medley of his best-known songs set to classroom instruments.Also, Check This OutSutton Foster as Princess Winnifred in a production of “Once Upon a Mattress” at New York City Center.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesSutton Foster stars as a sleepless princess in a new production of the 1959 musical “Once Upon a Mattress.” More

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    Late Night on the New Hampshire Primary

    Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump beat Nikki Haley by 11 points and that he’s “also leading Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘No Applause?’Former President Donald Trump won the New Hampshire Republican primary on Tuesday, taking 54.3 percent of the vote to Nikki Haley’s 43.3 percent.Jimmy Kimmel kicked off Wednesday night’s show by congratulating Trump on his win. “No applause?” he joked.“He beat Nikki Haley by double digits. He’s also leading Nikki Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump defeated Nikki Haley 54 to 43. It’s the very first time he’s ever been happy to see a woman in her 40s.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump cruised to victory, and just like most cruises, half the people partied while the other half felt really sick.” — JIMMY FALLON“Meanwhile, before the votes even came in, Nikki Haley made it clear she wasn’t dropping out. Yep, her campaign released a memo that said, ‘We aren’t going anywhere.’ I’m not sure that slogan is going to work: ‘Nikki Haley: We aren’t going anywhere.’” — JIMMY FALLON“But Nikki Haley has no plans to stop; she will not drop out. Last night, she told supporters that the race is far from over, she still has literally dozens of states to lose.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sore Winner Edition)“That’s right, Former President Trump won yesterday’s New Hampshire primary, while Nikki Haley finished second. Haley gave a concession speech, while Trump gave a concussion speech.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump was visibly upset Nikki Haley gave a speech as if she won. He reportedly spent the night seething about it, and I don’t blame him. Pretending you won when you actually lost, it’s his thing; not cool, Nikki.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] How dare she act like she won when she lost? I mean, what kind of maniac pretends they won when they really lost?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert offered Gen Z a quick pep talk on the merits of giving blood amid a drop in donations.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJustin Timberlake will pop by to see Jimmy Fallon on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutCindy Sherman at her studio in New York City.Caroline Tompkins for The New York TimesCindy Sherman’s photo-portraits of women assembled digitally from fragmentary parts make up her new show at Hauser & Wirth. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Processes the New Hampshire Primary

    Kimmel said Republicans had a choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Huge in New HampshireThe New Hampshire Republican primary took place on Tuesday, kicking off in the township of Dixville Notch, as is tradition.Jimmy Kimmel said that voters had a tough choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”“Spoiler alert: Haley ended up sweeping the Dixville Notch primary, winning all six votes. Yeah, now, six votes might not sound like a lot, unless you’re Ron DeSantis.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Today was the New Hampshire primary. And then tomorrow, diner customers can go back to eating their meals in peace.” — SETH MEYERS“The New Hampshire primary is over, which means the candidates can stop pretending like they want to be in New Hampshire in January.” — JIMMY FALLON“It was a tense day for former President Trump. He spent all day wondering if he won New Hampshire or if the vote was rigged.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Trump spent the day awaiting the verdict, although he’s pretty much spent the last year and a half awaiting a verdict. He’s used to it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Haley had a unique advantage in New Hampshire because, like the state, her initials are ‘N.H.,’ which after tonight will stand for ‘not happening.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Cognition Impossible Edition)“In a new interview, presidential candidate Nikki Haley questioned former President Trump’s mental fitness and said that she thinks he is ‘declining,’ while Trump thinks Nikki Haley is that lady from ‘Law and Order.’” — SETH MEYERS“The two of you need to sit down side by side, live television — not so close he can cheat off you, but pretty close to each other. We’ll put a divider between you so he doesn’t get chicken-nugget grease on your dress, and let’s find out whose brain works better. We’ll call it ‘Cognition Impossible.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It would be the television event of the year. [imitating host] ‘First question, Mr. Trump — define the word ‘aptitude.’ [imitating Trump] ‘It’s when the plane goes up.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I bet he couldn’t pass the quiz on a Denny’s place mat.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon found his guest, Kevin James, stuck in his viral meme pose on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Succession” star J. Smith-Cameron will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThough Ryan Gosling, left, received an Oscar nomination, the “Barbie” star Margot Robbie, center, and the movie’s director, Greta Gerwig, were nominated in some categories but not others.Warner Bros.This year’s biggest Oscar snubs include the women of “Barbie,” Leonardo DiCaprio, and the “May/December” star Charles Melton. More

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    Late Night Bids Adieu to G.O.P. Dropout Ron DeSantis

    The now-former presidential candidate “knew it was time to go four months after the rest of us did,” said Jimmy Fallon.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.DeSantis Is HistoryDays after finishing 30 points behind Donald Trump in the Iowa caucuses, Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida bowed out of the presidential race on Sunday.“Yeah, DeSantis knew it was time to go four months after the rest of us did,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.“Florida governor Ron DeSantis announced yesterday that he was suspending his presidential campaign — and this only a few days after Iowa announced it.” — SETH MEYERS“DeSantis met with his advisers, and they were, like, ‘Ron, how do we put this? There’s a better chance of you being a judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” than being president of the United States.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, when he saw the latest polls, DeSantis clicked his high heels together three times and said, ‘There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s estimated that Ron DeSantis spent $2,263 per vote he got. It literally would have been cheaper to buy each of his supporters a Peloton bike.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I don’t understand why Americans didn’t rally behind a guy who declared war on the Magic Kingdom, attacked trans kids, denied Covid, kidnapped migrants and flew them to Martha’s Vineyard, and ate pudding with his fingers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is one of the most spectacular political crash-and-burns of all time. At least DeSantis doesn’t have to worry about banning history books anymore, because he won’t be in them.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, it’s been a real roller coaster ride for DeSantis. But he said he’s happy, ’cause at least with this roller coaster, he was tall enough to ride.” — JIMMY FALLON“So now the field has been narrowed down to Nikki Haley and nobody else, living every woman’s nightmare: being left alone with Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Not Winston Churchill Edition)“DeSantis posted a video announcing that he was dropping out, and during it he attributed a quote about failure to Winston Churchill, but Churchill never actually said it. See, this is what happens when you ban textbooks.” — JIMMY FALLON“The International Churchill Society says on its website, ‘We can find no attribution for the quote, and it is found nowhere in his canon.’ Now, I know a lot of people are saying DeSantis could have fact-checked that in one of the books he banned, but that’s not fair. To quote Winston Churchill, ‘you can also just [expletive] Google it.’” — SETH MEYERSWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?  More

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    Late Night Chides Donald Trump for a Lack of Self-Control

    “He can’t even control an umbrella,” Seth Meyers said of the former president on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Get Ahold of YourselfA judge threatened to remove Donald Trump from court on Wednesday after he could be heard muttering disparaging comments during E. Jean Carroll’s second defamation suit against the former president.“A judge actually had to tell a former president of the United States, ‘You can’t control yourself,’” Seth Meyers said on Thursday. “He can’t even control an umbrella.”“Things are so crazy right now. In a year, Trump is either going to be president again, or we’re going to see him in Times Square offering to take pictures with tourists next to Elmo and Spider-Man.” — SETH MEYERS“Now, you’re probably saying, didn’t that trial already happen? Yeah, it did. We also already did Trump versus Biden. Get used to everything happening twice. Get used to everything happening twice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Trump doesn’t believe he should be held accountable for anything. At 2 a.m., he scream-posted ‘A president of the United States must have full immunity, without which it would be impossible for him/her to properly function.’ No, Trump doesn’t believe in any accountability. He believes the presidency should be like the movie ‘The Purge,’ which is why he’s always wearing that weird leather pig mask.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It is nice to hear him being inclusive. [imitating Trump] ‘I believe the president, whether it be him or her, Hispanic or Her-spanic, should have a private kill squad to take out those who dare speak against him.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is not a man who has any moral limitations, so I can’t imagine what he means by saying he should be allowed to cross the line. What’s he going to do, imprison his political opponents? Chop off California and sell it to Russia? Outlaw umbrellas?” — SETH MEYERS“This is the kind of thing that should end with Trump in prison or, best case, living alone in a motel by the racetrack. But every time he gets worse, his poll numbers get better, which explains his new 2024 slogan: ‘Welcome to Hell.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Kissing Cousins Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?  More

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    Jimmy Fallon Ribs Vivek Ramaswamy for Embracing Trump

    “Yep, Ramaswamy took the stage and praised Trump for eight minutes,” Fallon said. “Then he was, like, ‘Wait, Donald, this is your speech. Sorry!’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Stop the Hug!’Vivek Ramaswamy dropped out of the 2024 presidential race on Monday after finishing fourth at the Iowa caucuses. The 38-year-old entrepreneur endorsed former President Donald Trump and supported him at a rally in New Hampshire on Tuesday.“Everyone was on the edge of their seat just to hear how Trump would pronounce Vivek Ramaswamy,” Jimmy Fallon said.“Yep, Ramaswamy took the stage and praised Trump for eight minutes. Then he was, like, ‘Wait, Donald, this is your speech. Sorry!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Vivek Ramaswamy announced this week that he was suspending his presidential campaign. He plans to return to his true passion, tearing down the teen rec center to build a shopping mall.” — SETH MEYERSAfter Ramaswamy ended his speech, he welcomed Trump to the stage with an awkward and lengthy embrace.“I didn’t know if they were hugging or burping each other.” — JIMMY FALLON“Stop the hug! Stop the hug!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“To be fair, that’s pretty much every embrace between a guy in his 30s and a guy in his 70s. It’s, like, ‘Hey, I don’t know what you’re doing. Are we hugging?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (I-o-wanna Edition)“The big news today is the big news from Monday. Donald Trump won the Iowa caucus with 51 percent of the vote. Iowa: apparently, short for ‘I-o-wanna live in a democracy anymore.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So the DeSantis train is steaming on to New Hampshire, where he is currently polling at 5 percent. But don’t give up, Ron, because when asked which candidate they preferred, 2 percent refused to answer. If they’re ashamed to say it out loud, that’s a DeSantis voter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“ABC and CNN decided to cancel their New Hampshire debate coverage because Trump and Nikki Haley said they would not attend. So, the good news is if you still want to hear two Republicans who will never be president argue about politics, you can always go visit your parents.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Ted Lasso” star Juno Temple talked about finding her Minnesota accent for the new season of “Fargo.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe singer-songwriter Sierra Ferrell will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutFatima Robinson, foreground, on the set of “The Color Purple,” with Fantasia Barrino-Taylor, in white, and Oprah Winfrey.Eli Adé/Warner Bros.“The Color Purple” choreographer Fatima Robinson realized a lifelong dream with her work on the new musical film adaptation of Alice Walker’s 1982 novel. More