Trevor Noah joked that Donald Trump “lives his entire life as if he is the bad kid in one of those antismoking P.S.A.”
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Peer Pressuring Mike Pence
The Jan. 6 committee hearings continued on Thursday, focusing largely on Donald Trump’s attempts to persuade Mike Pence to overturn the election.
Trevor Noah joked that such peer pressure was on brand for Trump, who “lives his entire life as if he’s the bad kid in one of those antismoking P.S.A.”
“Like, [imitating Trump] ‘Come on, Mike, just try overturning the election. I thought you wanted to be cool.’ Also, by the way, if there is one person who you can’t entice with cool, it’s Mike Pence. He’s the least cool man in the world. The man won’t even watch the Teletubbies because they don’t wear pants.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Trump and Pence have reportedly not spoken since last summer. I guess they haven’t really been hanging since the attempted hanging.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And this is what we learned: All the lawyers knew that overturning the election was a crime. They all told each other that they knew it was a crime. They all told everybody in the White House it was a crime, including the president. They told him, ‘Sir, it’s a crime’ and he said, ‘Thank you for clearing that up. Now, let’s go do that crime.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Some of the crimes — some of the crimes described today were procedural and constitutional — a little light sedition among friends. Some of them were more straightforward, like, what’s the word? Trying to murder Mike Pence.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Covid Finally Caught Up to Fauci Edition)
“Dr. Anthony Fauci tested positive yesterday for a breakthrough case of the coronavirus. Wow, Fauci is like Covid’s final boss. This is — this is like hearing that the coyote caught the roadrunner.” — SETH MEYERS
“Also, you caught it now? You made it through all that time in the maskless Trump White House and you caught it now? That’s like running a triathlon with no problems and then throwing your back out petting a dog.” — SETH MEYERS
“That’s right, Dr. Fauci has Covid, which feels a little like finding out Smokey Bear got trapped in a forest fire.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I will say though, what a big moment for Covid as well, huh? To finally infect Dr. Anthony Fauci? I bet Covid was really star-struck when it got in his body.” — TREVOR NOAH
“And you know the saddest part, Dr. Fauci, and yes I’m talking to you, Dr. Fauci, I know you watch the show, is the fact that you didn’t come to the White House Correspondents Dinner, yeah. The president was there, Kim Kardashian was there, but you didn’t come because you said you didn’t want to catch Covid and then you caught Covid anyway. Yeah, probably from some boring government meeting.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Tom Hanks and Stephen Colbert posed as TikTok dads delivering a lecture on social media use.
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
