Stephen Colbert named actual candidates for the job before switching to made-up politicians — “and literally no one knows when I did, including me.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Speaking for Whom?
With Jim Jordan officially out of contention, Republicans continued their struggle to pick a new speaker of the House on Monday. In the running were nine potential candidates — later eight, with Dan Meuser dropping out — a group that Stephen Colbert found unremarkable.
“This time, nine Republicans will battle for the top post: Tom Emmer from Minnesota, Kevin Hern from Oklahoma, Jack Bergman from Michigan, Byron Donalds from Florida, Mike Johnson from Louisiana, Sam Nayman from Tennessee, Dan Marks from Wisconsin, Ben Warner from Georgia and Ken Sherman from Pennsylvania — and I started making up names partway through that list, and literally no one knows when I did, including me.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
This week’s guest host of “The Daily Show,” Desus Nice, pointed to the sole Black contender, Byron Donalds, among a group of white men.
“I’m going to be honest: I kind of want to root for Byron. I feel like he might be my guy. I mean, no particular reason,” Nice joked.
“It looks like someone put a bottle of Hershey’s syrup in the mayonnaise aisle.” — DESUS NICE
“Yo, all these white dudes look the same. In fact, three of them are the same guy, and you didn’t even notice.” — DESUS NICE
“There are now eight candidates for speaker — seven white men and one Black man, or as Republicans call it, a very diverse slate of choices.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s like the reunion of a college basketball team from 1955, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Nine House Republicans have announced plans to run for speaker. But if you wanted to see nine people who have no chance of winning, just go to a Mets game.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Sports News Edition)
“Let’s ease into everything with some sports news, and by sports news, I mean Taylor Swift: America’s sweetheart. She did some charity over the weekend by shining a spotlight on a little, unknown sport called football.” — DESUS NICE
“Also, props to Brittany Mahomes. She leveled up. She went from being the quarterback’s wife to Taylor Swift’s B.F.F. — that’s like the highest level a white woman can get.” — DESUS NICE
“Yeah, I guess it works, because Travis Kelce had his best game of the season yesterday. He finished with a touchdown, 12 catches, 179 yards, and 35 friendship bracelets, so, what a haul.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I will say it’s a good thing Taylor is dating someone on a good team. If she was dating someone on the Jets, she wouldn’t have a touchdown handshake. She’d just have a reassuring shoulder tap: ‘We’ll get ’em next time. You can’t win ’em all. Or any of them.’” — DESUS NICE
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Priscilla” star Jacob Elordi talked about his childhood celebrity crush — Brad Pitt — on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The author Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah will chat with Desus Nice, the guest host, on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The Oscar-winning screenwriter Ron Nyswaner’s debut TV series for Paramount+, “Fellow Travelers,” is an adaptation of the 2007 novel by Thomas Mallon.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
