“If Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity,” Kimmel said.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Has He Tried Bleach?
On Tuesday, Donald Trump’s lawyers asked the Supreme Court to rule that he has absolute immunity from criminal charges stemming from his attempts to subvert the 2020 election.
On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel joked that Trump “also wants immunity from chlamydia, just in case.”
“His lawyers told the court, ‘Denial of criminal immunity would incapacitate every future president with de facto blackmail and extortion while in office and condemn him to years of post-office trauma at the hands of political opponents.’ Which sounds bad, right? And yet somehow, we’ve had 44 presidents before him — that never happened to any of them except for this one guy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A president could make some seriously crazy stuff happen. If you’re dumb and arrogant, you commit the crimes yourself on television, then you have a problem. Then you have to beg the Supreme Court for something preposterous, like immunity. But if Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Turns out the guy who bragged to Billy Bush he can do whatever he wants thinks he should be allowed to do whatever he wants.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (March Madness Edition)
“My hope is that we get all the madness out in March, so we don’t have any left for November.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Gonzaga tomorrow plays McNeese State, which, not only do I not believe Gonzaga is a real place, I don’t think there’s any such place as McNeese State, either. I know for a fact there are 50 states, and McNeese is not one of them, OK? This is a game between two imaginary teams they’re putting on. The A.I. has finally taken over.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Today, President Biden posted his bracket, and he picked a favorite, UConn, to repeat as national champions. Yeah, Biden relates to UConn ’cause they both have a 38 percent chance of winning again.” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s right, Biden has UConn, Houston, North Carolina and Tennessee in his Final Four, while Trump was able to identify all the mascots: [imitating Trump] ‘I see the duck, the bear, the lion.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yep, Trump didn’t fill out a bracket ’cause he doesn’t have the 10 bucks to join the pool.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Kristen Wiig used an opera singer to answer Jimmy Fallon’s interview questions on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Shirley” star Regina King will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Pattie Boyd, who was at the center of one of rock’s most mythic love triangles, is auctioning love letters that Eric Clapton wrote her while she was married to George Harrison.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
