With the return of remote learning, Colbert says to bring in the mothers-in-law.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Back to Home-School
Stephen Colbert reported on the latest Covid surge on Tuesday night, pointing to the rise of major cities with schools returning to remote learning.
“I long for the good old days, where our kids could safely go to school to butt-chug Tide pods,” Colbert joked.
“Parents need emergency child care help now. I am calling on the federal government to release our strategic reserve of mothers-in-law. You know their motto: ‘I see you’re too busy to empty the bathroom trash can.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Stuck in Traffic Edition)
“I saw that because of a huge winter storm, a 50-mile stretch of I-95 in Virginia was shut down, and drivers were stranded on the Interstate for more than 24 hours. Meanwhile, there was a dad sitting there like, ‘If I could just get over the one lane.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The only happy person was the cabdriver whose fare got up to $14 million.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Twenty-four hours in standstill traffic — I’m pretty sure there’s 50 miles of highway just covered in yellow snow.” — JIMMY FALLON
“And right now, there’s probably no better place on the planet to quarantine than I-95 in Virginia, where cars have been trapped in a traffic jam for nearly 27 hours. Holy never-getting-to-Toledo!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“In fact, Virginia Senator Tim Kaine was one of the commuters trapped on the Interstate, causing him to tweet this: ‘I started my normal 2 hour drive to DC at 1pm yesterday. 19 hours later, I’m still not near the Capitol.’ But his commute wasn’t done. It took him 27 hours to get to work. Twenty-seven hours! The stakes were high too because it only takes 24 hours for anyone to forget who Tim Kaine is.” — JAMES CORDEN
“One minute you’re about to be vice president of the United States, the next you’re talking about your fluid intake.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Late Late Show” guest Lily Collins recalls meeting Princess Diana and throwing a toy at Prince Charles’s head.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The “Scream” stars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette will talk about reprising their iconic roles in the fourth film of the horror franchise on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
A new exhibition at the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles traces the Jewish roots of “Star Trek.”
Source: Television - nytimes.com
