Ellie Goulding has spoken candidly about her mental health and said that she used to suffer from atrocious panic attacks and never felt good enough when she was at the height of her fame.
The 34-year-old, who has just had her first baby, also revealed she was addicted to exercise.
Ellie shot to stardom in her twenties and said that while she could feel “complete euphoria”, at the same time her “lowest days were ridiculously low”.
In her new book Calmer. Fitter. Stronger. she said: “I often felt as if I was failing because when I felt down I wasn’t being productive.”
(Image: Ellie Goulding/Instagram)
“My voice, my music and writing will always be my mysterious, unpredictable, fiery friend for life.”
Ellie, who started making music straight after university aged 24, said that her fame meant she felt like she was “strapped to a space shuttle”.
She was on a relentless carousel of TV appearances, award ceremonies and travelling that caused “debilitating panic attacks”.
(Image: Ian Vogler / Daily Mirror)
One was so bad she was taken to hospital after a close pal’s dad died.
The attacks were so frequent that Ellie, who married Casper Jopling in 2019, said that they became “routine” – like a “quiet, sickly feeling” or a “frightening physical manifestation”.
She said as well as therapy and CBT sessions, exercise became her “sanctuary”. But that also got out of hand.
(Image: Sunday Mirror)
She said she used exercise to distract herself from her emotions and also used it as a tool to burn off all the calories from her bad diet.
Ellie, whose little boy is called Arthur, and who hid her pregnancy for eight months, said that therapy also helped her pinpoint where some of her issues stemmed from.
The issues included her parents’ divorce and her mum being poor and struggling for money while living in a council house.
Ellie also did not have a great relationship with her stepdad – the pair “clashed’ and there was a lot of “tension, stress and anxiety” at home.
Now she says, she is in a much better place and uses exercise as a healthy way to ground herself and deal with stress.
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Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
