More stories

  • in

    Jimmy Fallon Jokes That President Biden’s Document Drama Is a ‘Humblebrag’

    “First, they searched near Biden’s Corvette, now they’re searching his beach house,” Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Search ContinuesThe F.B.I. conducted a search of President Biden’s family vacation home in Rehoboth Beach, Del., on Wednesday but found no classified documents.“First, they searched near Biden’s Corvette, now they’re searching his beach house. I’m starting to think Biden created this whole scandal as a humblebrag,” Jimmy Fallon said.“[imitating Biden] ‘Why don’t you check by my infinity pool? Maybe there’s something behind the Picasso, I don’t know.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden’s attorneys found documents at his main house in Delaware last month, and the president has a regular house and a vacation house, both in Delaware. I don’t know — how’s that a vacation? Can you vacation from Delaware to Delaware?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They didn’t find anything classified, but they did find a 1982 Zenith TV and three boxes of Parcheesi.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The F.B.I. reportedly searched President Biden’s Delaware beach house today as part of the ongoing investigation into his handling of classified documents. And I think he might be getting nervous, because he said, ‘You know what you should be searching? Hunter’s laptop! Crazy stuff in there!’” — SETH MEYERS“Speaking of Biden, today the White House announced that he will get his annual physical on Feb. 16. It’s going to be crazy after Biden’s colonoscopy when the doctor says, ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this, but we found more classified documents.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye-Bye, Brady Edition)“Tom Brady announced he’s decided to retire, but for real this time. Every year on the first of February, Tom Brady comes out of the locker room to announce his retirement. Then if he sees his shadow, he goes right back to the N.F.L.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This dude retires more than Cher.” — D.L. HUGHLEY, guest host of “The Daily Show”“He was around for a long time. Let’s just say Brady was the only active N.F.L. player to see ‘Top Gun’ 1 and 2 in theaters.” — JIMMY FALLON“Brady is done and, in a related story, tickets to next year’s Buccaneers games are now free.” — JIMMY FALLON“Brady is moving on to bigger and better things. Yesterday, he was walking the red carpet for the premiere of his new film ‘80 for Brady.’ I hear it went pretty well until he tucked Rita Moreno under his arm and spiked her in the end zone.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Sadly, without football, he’s going to have to fill his days with nothing but being insanely rich, accomplished, fit, handsome and single.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingD.L. Hughley quizzed people in a man-on-the-street segment about Black History Month for “The Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJonathan Groff, who stars in “Knock at the Cabin,” will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutOscar Isaac and Rachel Brosnahan will lead the cast of the stage revival of a Lorraine Hansberry play. Erik Tanner for The New York TimesOscar Isaac and Rachel Brosnahan will star in the first major New York revival of Lorraine Hansberry’s 1964 Broadway play “The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window” at BAM this month. More

  • in

    Jimmy Kimmel Puts Mike Lindell Inside a Claw Machine

    The MyPillow founder and election denier wanted to appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” again, but the host had one condition.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Man in the MachineMike Lindell, the MyPillow founder, who known for his elaborate conspiracy theories about the 2020 election, returned to “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Tuesday, complying with Kimmel’s one condition: that he appear inside a claw machine at an arcade.In his monologue, Kimmel joked that the mustachioed Lindell was “here to finally answer the question: ‘What if Ted Lasso was on the F.B.I. watch list?’”“I do want to make something clear. I did not insist that Mike be in a claw machine because he’s not vaccinated; I insisted he be in a claw machine because it’s hilarious. This isn’t a political statement — this is just for fun.” — JIMMY KIMMELKimmel asked Lindell about his recent failed campaign for the chairmanship of the Republican National Committee. But Lindell kept bringing the conversation back to his insistence that machines had rigged the 2020 election.“First question, Mike, is why do you think people don’t take you seriously?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Mike, I know that you’re distrustful of machines. Now that you’re inside one, do you feel differently?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine, they’re cool, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, one of the differences between you and the claw machine is claw machines let go. And you will not let go of this voting thing, will you?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (That’s a Wrap Edition)“President Biden informed Congress yesterday that he will officially end the coronavirus pandemic emergency declaration in May, which means that everyone can finally stop wearing their mask a year ago.” — SETH MEYERS“The timing makes sense. Might as well squeeze in one more spring break public health emergency for old time’s sake.” — JAMES CORDEN“Take that, Covid, we beat you. Shove that up your nose and rotate it five times!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This has been a long time coming. I wish you could see the smiles on the faces in my audience. And I wish I could, too, because they’re still wearing masks.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’m pretty sure the public ended the health emergency a while ago. Today, I saw a guy open a Starbucks bathroom with his tongue.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Daily Show” correspondent Jordan Klepper spoke with superfans of Donald Trump in South Carolina, some of whom insist he is still in office.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe newly minted Oscar nominee Jenny Slate will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show with James Corden.”Also, Check This OutBonnie Raitt has won 10 Grammys since 1979. She’s up for four awards on Sunday, including song of the year.Peter Fisher for The New York TimesBonnie Raitt has been nominated for four Grammys this year, including her first for songwriting. More

  • in

    Jimmy Kimmel Takes on Trump’s ‘Sad’ Return to the Campaign Trail

    Kimmel called Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign “the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the Wizards.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Diet Trump’Former President Trump is back on the stump, kicking off his 2024 presidential campaign over the weekend with events in New Hampshire and South Carolina.Jimmy Kimmel said watching Trump return to campaigning was “sad,” calling it “the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the Wizards.”“Former President Trump kicked off his 2024 campaign on Saturday at the New Hampshire Republican Party’s annual meeting and said, ‘I’m more angry now, and I’m more committed now than I ever was’ — though it’s never a good sign when your opening pitch is, ‘I’m blind with rage.’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump also warned that if Ron DeSantis runs for president, he would consider it a great act of disloyalty. And, you know, loyalty means everything to the guy who cheated on his third wife with a porn star and thought it might be cool to hang his vice president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Speaking of DeSantis, I saw that he’s actively preparing for a possible presidential run, and he hasn’t landed on an official slogan yet, but he’s trying a few out. First, there’s ‘DeSantis 2024: Diet Trump.’ Next, there’s ‘DeSantis 2024: DeAmerica DeTruly DeDeServes DeDeSantis.’ And finally, ‘DeSantis 2024: Make America Florida Again.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brotherly Love Edition)“Guys, I want to say congrats to the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles on advancing to Super Bowl LVII. Yeah, to all the Chiefs fans, I want to say, ‘Congratulations.’ To all the Eagles fans, I want to say, ‘Good morning.’” — JIMMY FALLON“You can tell Philly partied hard last night because today the Rocky statue is holding up Tylenol and a Gatorade.” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, everyone in Kansas City is just as pumped. This is the Chiefs’ third Super Bowl appearance in the last four years. Even Tom Brady is like, ‘Hey, give someone else a chance.’” — JIMMY FALLON“This is interesting, Travis Kelce is going to be playing against his brother in the Super Bowl. His older brother, Jason, plays center for the Eagles. It’s the first time two brothers have ever competed in the Super Bowl against each other, which, that has got to be tough for their parents. I mean, no matter who wins, they’ve gotta take them both to Disneyland, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s already a history-making game because Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce and Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce will become the first brothers to face off against each other in a Super Bowl. But not the first time family members have played each other. Who can forget the dramatic playoffs matchup between Joe and Hannah Montana?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is really high stakes because they’re playing for who gets the top bunk.” — JAMES CORDEN“Maybe this is how Prince William and Prince Harry should sort out their issues.” — JAMES CORDEN“I would tell them, I would sit them down and say, ‘Boys, whoever wins is the son we love more and that’s that.’ That’s how Trump does it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThis week’s “Daily Show” guest host, D.L. Hughley, spoke with Ibram X. Kendi and Nic Stone, co-authors of “How to Be a (Young) Antiracist,” on Monday night.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Jessica Chastain, who stars in Showtime’s “George and Tammy,” will chat with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJennifer Coolidge and her character’s rant about murderous “gays” are featured in a popular dance mash-up of the theme song from the show “The White Lotus.”Fabio Lovino/HBODanceable remixes of “The White Lotus” theme song have become a hit in music venues and dance clubs. More

  • in

    ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ Celebrates 20 Years on Air

    Kimmel reminisced about his show’s highs and lows on its milestone anniversary.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ Turns 20“Jimmy Kimmel Live” celebrated its 20th anniversary on Thursday with a special prime-time episode. During his monologue, Kimmel read from early reviews that panned the show and said “very few people expected us to make it this far, but we did. One reason he cited: “I made a great deal with the devil.”“When we started, there were no iPhones. There was no YouTube, there was no Uber, no Twitter, no Wi-Fi, no Netflix, no Google. We had Nokias and Ask Jeeves, and that was it. We’ve been through two wars, a worldwide pandemic, four presidents, one insurrection, at least three different Kanyes.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You want to know how long our show has been around? We still have — this is real — a Blockbuster card. That’s how long. If you told me we were going to last longer than Blockbuster, I would have sooner believed I would be working at Blockbuster in 20 years.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Every day, it takes a lot of people to make something this dumb, and we’ve covered a lot of dumb stuff over the past 20 years, from Snooki to Honey Boo Boo. Ken Bone to Sarah Palin. Sanjaya. Clay Aiken. ‘Chocolate Rain,’ double rainbow, Stormy Daniels, William Hung, the astronaut diaper lady. Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. Hulk Hogan’s sex tape. Pam and Tommy’s sex tape. The Octomom — I think she made a sex tape. Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I have been allowed to use this platform to speak out about issues that matter to me, like health care, sensible gun laws. I’ve encouraged thousands of parents to eat their children’s Halloween candy.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Facebook Edition)“After a two-year suspension, Meta is reinstating former President Trump’s Facebook and Instagram accounts. Trump hasn’t been on Facebook for two years, so, pretty much just like the rest of us.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, letting Trump back on Facebook is crazy. You’re just asking for trouble. It’s like letting Hannibal Lecter babysit your most delicious child.” — WANDA SYKES“Look, we all know Facebook is losing a ton of money, and they want that Trump attention back. They need a hit. Trump is their ‘White Lotus.’” — WANDA SYKES“Well, yeah, that’s a punishment for all of us! If you’ll remember, back in 2021, the ex-president got kicked off of the platform for a Facebook violation known as trying to overthrow the U.S. government.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Meta, what are you thinking? You can’t allow him to post conspiracy theories on Facebook — that’s your mom’s friend’s job.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So what are these new rules? For starters, the ex-president will be required to follow Meta’s updated community guidelines, which prohibit violence and incitement, fraud and deception, and hate speech. So, all of the former president’s love languages.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert and his “Late Show” guest Tom Hanks shared posters from new movies they may or may have not co-starred in.Also, Check This OutJoan Didion transcended ordinary literary fame to become a symbol of bicoastal chic and, with her husband, John Gregory Dunne, an ideal of intellectual-conjugal partnership.The archives of Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne/New York Public LibraryThe New York Public Library has acquired Joan Didion’s papers from her joint archive with her husband, John Gregory Dunne. More

  • in

    Late Night Responds to Biden’s Decision to Send Tanks to Ukraine

    Stephen Colbert said that for Volodymyr Zelensky’s birthday on Wednesday, “Joe Biden got him exactly what he asked for.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Giving TanksThe Biden administration announced plans to send M1 Abrams tanks to Ukraine, after weeks of negotiations to persuade Germany to offer its own advanced battle tanks in the war against Russia.Stephen Colbert celebrated the birthday of Volodymyr Zelensky, the Ukrainian president, on Wednesday, saying, “Joe Biden got him exactly what he asked for.”“This wasn’t exactly a huge surprise — Zelensky kind of figured it out while it was still wrapped.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The Abrams is a game changer for this war in Ukraine. It’s a state-of-the-art battle tank that weighs 70 tons. It is capable of speeds up to 42 miles an hour. Plus, it comes with a free month of Sirius XM, so while you’re breaching enemy lines, you can listen to Stern.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Pentagon officials have been reluctant to send the Abrams, but then they changed their minds, after Germany agreed to send its Leopard battle tanks to Ukraine, making this the first time anyone in Europe has said, ‘Good news — the German tanks are rolling in!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Because, you know, it’s not a great look just when it’s German tanks rolling across Europe. Kind of makes people nervous.” — WANDA SYKES“I think it should have been Sweden. Yeah. And they send tanks to Ukraine and Russia. OK, hear me out, hear me out: And then Sweden, do that thing you do where you send the tanks in parts with a diagram for assembling them. Yeah. See? See, that would bring the countries together because no one could assemble that [expletive] on their own.” — WANDA SYKESThe Punchiest Punchlines (Certifiable Edition)“Former Vice President Mike Pence’s lawyer reportedly found close to a dozen classified documents last week at Pence’s Indiana home. And when Pence heard that, he stayed white as a ghost.” — SETH MEYERS“Man, this is starting to feel like the beginning of the pandemic. You hear about one case, then another and before you know it, we’re all going to be locked in our apartments wiping down our mail, terrified that some classified documents are going to get in.” — SETH MEYERS“The Justice Department has now launched an investigation into the dozen classified documents found at former Vice President Mike Pence’s Indiana home, and, more specifically, why was Joe Biden keeping them there?” — SETH MEYERS“While a lot of Republicans are mad at Pence, the former V.P. got a boost from the former pres, who truthed: ‘Mike Pence is an innocent man. He never did anything knowingly dishonest in his life.’ Adding, ‘which is why I tried to have him killed.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Nia Long sat down with Wanda Sykes on Wednesday’s “Daily Show” to talk about her two new projects, the Netflix comedy “You People” and the techno-thriller “Missing.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJimmy Kimmel will celebrate the 20th anniversary of his show in prime time on Thursday, with guests from his first episode: George Clooney, Snoop Dogg and a musical performance by Coldplay.Also, Check This OutNatasha Lyonne is a human lie detector in “Poker Face,” a new Peacock series inspired by vintage case-of-the-week shows.Karolina Wojtasik/PeacockNatasha Lyonne turns into a working-class sleuth in Peacock’s new detective show, “Poker Face.” More

  • in

    Late Night Riffs on Mike Pence and His Classified Documents

    Jimmy Kimmel said the papers were found in a box with “a four-pack of Zima and Polaroids of Mother dressed in her swimming costume.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not So Classified After AllLast week, a lawyer for former Vice President Mike Pence found a dozen classified documents at Pence’s home in Indiana.On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel joked that the documents were found “in a box with some of his other secret items, including a four-pack of Zima and Polaroids of Mother dressed in her swimming costume.”“According to his lawyer, they discovered the documents in January. Pence, they say, immediately alerted the National Archives, and the F.B.I. came to pick them up. The lawyers found the documents in, of all places, Mike’s kitchen, behind the Pence family mayonnaises.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The craziest part about these documents that were found: They were found stuffed between a dozen Wu-Tang albums.” — JIMMY FALLON“These are crazy times. Right now, Walgreens has deodorant behind a locked case, while classified documents are laying around like J. Crew catalogs all over the house.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m starting to wonder if I have classified documents in my house.” — JAMES CORDEN“Wow. That is tough news for Mike Pence and fantastic news for Joe Biden.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“OK, so they’re just in every home? That’s the only thing that makes sense anymore. When you buy a new house and you move in, there’s just classified documents sitting on the counter next to that half-roll of paper towels and box of baking soda?” — SETH MEYERS“Is everyone just handed a box when they leave the White House? Like, ‘Thanks for coming, here’s some state secrets.’” — JAMES CORDEN“He says he took them home by accident, and they were found by one of his lawyers, who Pence asked to conduct the search of his home out of an abundance of caution. An ‘abundance of caution’ is also why Mike Pence leaves the room when TV commercials come on.— STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (And the Nominees Are Edition)“Today, the nominations were announced for the 95th Academy Awards. Yeah. Leading the way with 11 nominations is the movie ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once.’ It’s a film about all the places they found President Biden’s classified documents.” — JIMMY FALLON“The film that scored the most nominations was ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once,’ which is up for best picture along with ‘Top Gun,’ ‘Avatar 2,’ ‘Elvis’ and six movies no one has seen, including a movie called ‘Triangle of Sadness,’ which I always thought was a slice of Papa John’s pizza.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, as usual, there was good news and bad news. Good news: Michelle Yeoh became the first Asian woman nominated for best actress. But, bad news: No women were nominated for best director. Yeah. But remember, they gave it to Jane Campion last year, so I guess this year, they thought, ‘Eh, that should hold you broads for the next 50 years.’” — WANDA SYKES“James Cameron’s ‘Avatar 2’ didn’t get a best director nomination for Cameron, even though his movie was nominated for best picture, which is what you get for making us put on those dumb glasses for four hours.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“With his nomination for ‘The Fablemans,’ Steven Spielberg extended his record as the only person nominated for best director in six different decades. Yeah. Yeah. Six different decades. But what has he done besides that?” — JAMES CORDEN“This is a big movie for him. In fact, Spielberg is already spinning the film off into its own franchise. Look out for this in theaters this summer: ‘2 Fast, 2 Fablemans.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe recurring “Leave Him Alone Guy” zeroed in on George Santos on Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightKeke Palmer will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutA few protesters, including plaintiffs in a lawsuit against Ticketmaster, gathered outside the Capitol during the hearing Tuesday.Kenny Holston/The New York TimesTaylor Swift fans gathered outside the Capitol to protest Ticketmaster during Tuesday’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearing about anticompetitive behavior in the ticketing industry. More

  • in

    Wanda Sykes Kicks Off ‘Daily Show’ Stint by Panning a Eulogy From Trump

    Sykes ribbed Donald Trump for forgetting a Black woman he met several times and who supported him at rallies, “setting the Black race back 50 years.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Tone-Def Comedy Jam’Wanda Sykes started her weeklong stint as host of “The Daily Show” with a look at former President Donald Trump’s awkward eulogy during a memorial for an unwavering supporters who died recently. The service was for Lynnette “Diamond” Hardaway, one of two sisters who Sykes noted “were always showing up at his rallies, praising him on TV, setting the Black race back 50 years.”“You know those two. Trump held meetings with them, he’d invite them to the Oval Office, he would point at them and say, ‘See, Black people love me!’” — WANDA SYKESIn his speech, Trump said he recalled Diamond but didn’t remember Silk, who asked the former President to eulogize her sister.“I mean, come on — to say you know Diamond but don’t know Silk is wild, because they are always together. That’s like saying, ‘I know Bert, but I never heard of this Ernie fellow.’” — WANDA SYKES“If you just learned about Silk, I’m going to go ahead and say you didn’t know much about Diamond. That’s like saying, ‘I’m a lifelong fan of Garfunkel, but who is this Simon I’m just hearing about? Did they do anything together?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Knowing Trump, he probably only has room for one Black woman in his brain at a time. If he turns on the TV right now, he’ll be like, ‘Wow, Diamond’s hosting “The Daily Show”!’” — WANDA SYKES“Trump appeared before a sitting room-only crowd. One hundred fifty mourners gathered to hear him speak about their beloved Diamond — and he almost did. He almost spoke about her.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was more of a ‘me-logy’ than a eulogy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This speech had all the sincerity and grace you could possibly expect from a man who buried the mother of his children at the 16th hole of his golf course. And the crazy thing is, I bet he thinks it went great. I bet he feels like he just won a Soul Train Award.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a tone-def comedy jam.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Does Not Spark Joy Edition)“On Friday, the F.B.I. spent 13 hours searching President Biden’s house in Wilmington, Del., and they found more classified documents. You know what? At this point, just let us know when you stop finding them, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“As if the documents weren’t crazy enough, they also found the script for the last season of ‘Stranger Things.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The Justice Department also took handwritten notes from when Biden was vice president. One was a piece of paper addressed to Obama that just said, ‘Do you like me? Check yes or no.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s crazy. First Trump, now Biden. Today, just to be safe, Obama burned his house down.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s interesting how Biden and Trump have handled their situations differently. Biden has new documents found every week, while Trump went for the Netflix-style, binge-all-at-once release.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, come on, the man has been in public office for 238 years. I bet you most of the [expletive] he has isn’t even classified anymore. You read his notes and it’s like, ‘Keep an eye on this Hitler guy!’” — WANDA SYKES“Those notes are ancient. One of them was, ‘Find out who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Most of them were Post-it notes that say ‘Remember: Return classified documents.’” — JAMES CORDEN“How could America be $31 trillion in debt and, apparently, no one in the executive branch has ever purchased a shredder?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Apparently, all politicians just hoard classified material. I’m starting to wonder how Jimmy Carter insulates all those Habitats for Humanity.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“At this point, the F.B.I. is just decluttering Biden’s house for him. They’re like Marie Kondo going around his rooms like, ‘This list of spies does not spark joy.’” — WANDA SYKESThe Bits Worth WatchingFreddie Gibbs performed “Blackest in the Room” and “Feel No Pain” with Anderson .Paak on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe longtime couple and “Seriously Red” co-stars Rose Byrne and Bobby Cannavale will appear on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe trauma of Lakecia Benjamin’s car crash anchors “Phoenix,” a labyrinthine set of arrangements.Sabrina Santiago for The New York TimesThe saxophonist Lakecia Benjamin turned a broken jaw from a car accident into inspiration for her new album, “Phoenix.” More

  • in

    Jimmy Fallon Finds the Funny in the Debt Ceiling

    Fallon says the news that the government has hit its debt cap explains why “Mitch McConnell started an OnlyFans.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘So Broke’The United States reached its debt limit on Thursday, hitting a $31.4 trillion debt cap.“The country’s so strapped for cash, George Santos is emailing people pretending to be a Nigerian prince,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“Today, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said extraordinary measures are being taken to keep the government’s bills paid, which explains why tonight Mitch McConnell started an OnlyFans.” — JIMMY FALLON“America is so broke, the government might have to resort to extraordinary measures, like taxing the rich or not going to war all the time.” — LESLIE JONES, hosting “The Daily Show”“You know it’s not a good situation when the Treasury Department is like, ‘Hey man, could you — could you, could you wait until next week to cash that check?” — JAMES CORDEN“If you ask me, this is where we could use Donald Trump. Now look, I don’t — I didn’t like the guy, I don’t like the guy, I don’t. You’ve got to admit he is pretty good at not paying money that he owes.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Don’t Call It a Comeback Edition)“Trump, meanwhile, is desperately trying to get back on Facebook. You know, his team sent a letter to Mark Zuckerberg requesting that they unblock his account. I’m actually surprised Trump wants to get back on Facebook. Isn’t Facebook just an unpleasant annual reminder that Don Jr. and Eric were born?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Facebook said they are going to ‘look to experts to assess whether the risk to public safety has receded.’ This is like Jurassic Park saying they’re going to ask around to see if it’s cool to let the raptors out again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Who needs Facebook when you reach almost a dozen people a day on Truth Social?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingHarvey Guillén, who stars in “Puss in Boots: The Last Wish,” satirized George Santos on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMadonna performing at the singer Maluma’s concert, “Medellín in the Map,” in Medellín, Colombia, in 2022.Fredy Builes/Agence France-Presse — Getty ImagesAt 64, Madonna has announced her 12th world tour with all of the fanfare that followers have come to expect. More