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    Jimmy Kimmel Isn’t Shocked by Trump’s Silence on Juneteenth

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    Kimmel imagined the Trump base’s reaction had the president acknowledged the holiday: “We’re the ones who stopped enslaving — they should have a holiday for us!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Another Day at the OfficeOn Thursday, the United States celebrated Juneteenth, four years after it became a federal holiday honoring the end of slavery. But President Trump didn’t acknowledge it, except by complaining on Truth Social that there were too many “non-working holidays.”Jimmy Kimmel joked that while it might be “hard to believe, from a president who has done more for Blacks than Abraham Lincoln, Trump is not a fan” of Juneteenth.“I don’t know, to me, it seems like a holiday that celebrates the end of slavery is one we should all be for.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If Trump were to acknowledge Juneteenth, he would risk upsetting his not-at-all-racist-and-how-dare-you-say-we-are base. They’re like, ‘We’re the ones who stopped enslaving — they should have a holiday for us!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But then, a miracle happened. Trump did post about Juneteenth. He wrote, ‘Too many non-working holidays in America. Soon, we’ll end up having a holiday for every once working day of the year.’ Says the guy who just had a birthday parade for himself. Says the guy who has been in office for 150 days and has golfed 37 times that we know of.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Two Weeks Edition)“I saw that today the White House said Trump will make a decision on the U.S. involvement in Iran within the next two weeks. All good. No rush. Just take your time.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s always two weeks. For a guy whose catchphrase was ‘You’re fired,’ no one has ever given more two weeks’ notice than Donald J. Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If Trump thinks about this decision for two weeks, it’ll beat his previous thinking record by two weeks.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump understands that starting a war in the Middle East is a lot like quitting your sales job at Best Buy. It’s just polite.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian and actor Mike Birbiglia talked about an intriguing offer he’d gotten for a film role on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutUnraveling family mysteries for her documentary left Mariska Hargitay at peace: “It’s like a miracle to me to feel this way. I never thought I could.”Kobe Wagstaff for The New York TimesThe “Law & Order: SVU” star Mariska Hargitay’s documentary “My Mom Jayne” offers a candid portrayal of her family history and the mother she hardly knew, Jayne Mansfield. More

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      Seth Meyers Wishes Tucker Carlson and Ted Cruz Could Both Lose

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      The clash of conservative titans had Meyers feeling like a Roman emperor: “I just want someone to feed me grapes while I say, ‘Let them fight.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Rooting for a Sinkhole’In a heated exchange on Tucker Carlson’s show, the host grilled Ted Cruz about Iran’s population and ethnic makeup, suggesting that the Republican senator was ignorant about the country whose government he wanted the United States to help overthrow.Seth Meyers was amused by the standoff, saying he’d never “felt more like a Roman emperor.”“I just want someone to feed me grapes while I say, ‘Let them fight.’” — SETH MEYERS“It’s like watching a sequel to ‘Alien vs. Predator’ called ‘I Can’t Believe I’m Saying This, but the Predator is Making Some Very Salient Points.’” — SETH MEYERS“Oh, damn, Ted Cruz. Are you a pair of $800 Ferragamo boat shoes? Because Tucker Carlson owned you, buddy.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“And Ted Cruz was like, ‘I know the population, just give me a second to count, OK? Let’s see, there’s the ayatollah, that’s one. Uh, the Iron Sheik, two. Is Aladdin one? No? No?” — JORDAN KLEPPER“It’s so wild to see these two fighting. But I gotta say, in an argument between Tucker Carlson and Ted Cruz, I’m rooting for a sinkhole.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Flagpole Edition)“Not now, dude! This is like your boyfriend getting down on one knee and saying, ‘Kelly, will you make me the happiest man in the world and look at these two beautiful flagpoles?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump’s announcement that new flagpoles would be installed at the White House“What’s going on here? It feels like someone told him, ‘Sir, you’re not doing well in the polls.’ And he was like, ‘I hear you, I’m on it.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Now personally, I think it’s cool that Trump found a new use for the 50-foot pole that Melania refuses to touch him with.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Wow, ‘tall, tapered, rustproof’ flagpoles. You know he must love them ’cause that’s the same way he describes his son Barron.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What a president. He spent 48 minutes yammering about flagpoles. He spent more time raising these flags than he did raising Eric and Don Jr. combined today.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth Watching“Jimmy Kimmel Live” timed how long it took fans to start eating from a bowl of nachos left on top of a garbage can at the N.B.A. Finals.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightPaul Simon will discuss coming out of retirement on “The Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSteven Spielberg, holding the camera, and his cinematographer Bill Butler during the filming of “Jaws.”Peacock/Universal Pictures, via Associated PressFifty years ago, “Jaws” established a template that blockbuster movies have been following ever since. More

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      Jordan Klepper Calls Trump Out for His ‘Irish Exit’ at G7

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      The president left the Group of 7 summit in Canada a day ahead of schedule, and Tuesday’s “Daily Show” host thinks he knows why.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Stay Tuned’President Trump left the G7 summit in Canada a day earlier than planned, flying back to Washington to deal with the Iran-Israel conflict, according to the White House.On Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper called Trump out for his “Irish exit.”“Now, this is an important G7 for Trump, because he had to prove that he had the discipline and wherewithal to fix the global economy after he [expletive] up the global economy.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“We all know what this is, right? You’re at an event, you have to rush home because ‘something came up’? Look, I get it — none of us like to poop in an unfamiliar place. Sometimes, when you have a big matchup coming up, you just need that home-field advantage.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“After a few days with Trump, the Canadian prime minister was like, ‘I hate to see you go, but I also hate to see you here.’” — JIMMY FALLON“When French president Emmanuel Macron told the press that Trump left the G7 to work on a cease-fire, Trump attacked Macron, posting, ‘He has no idea why I am now on my way to Washington, but it certainly has nothing to do with a cease-fire. Much bigger than that. Stay tuned!’ Much bigger than that? Not a cease-fire? Maybe not the most subtle messaging from the commander in chief. It’s like when F.D.R. said, ‘Gotta get me some sleep. Tomorrow is Big D-Day. Can’t say much more, but it rhymes with Shmormandy.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So either the United States is about to jump in or he just got bored during the G7 icebreakers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“‘Stay tuned.’ Like it’s the season finale of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oh, great! Yeah, better than a cease-fire! Cease-fire plus! That’s great — I hate watching ads.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trade Deal Drop Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Thinks Trump’s Military Parade Was Kind of Dull

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      It was “basically a $50 million version of when a 5-year-old shows you every car in his Hot Wheels collection,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump’s Sad BirthdayPresident Trump hosted a military parade in Washington on Saturday — either for the Army’s 250th anniversary or for his own birthday, depending on who you believed. The crowds seemed underwhelming.On Monday, Jimmy Kimmel called it Trump’s “much-anticipated Stupid Sweet 16 disguised as a tribute to the U.S. Army he bone-spurred his way out of.”“You know, after all his talk about how this wasn’t a birthday party for him, it kind of seemed like a birthday party for him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The White House is now claiming that over 250,000 people attended the parade. Yeah, it was an estimate, give or take 250,000.” — JIMMY FALLON“This was less a show of overwhelming force and more like a military museum getting in its steps.” — JON STEWART“It was boring. It was basically a $50 million version of when a 5-year-old shows you every car in his Hot Wheels collection.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You can be the president of the United States, you can have an entire political party and a global media apparatus at your disposal. You can cow the media and the wealthy into obedience. You can command an army and deploy troops and have unlimited wealth and power, but you still can’t force people to come to your [expletive] birthday party. And what is more American than that?” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Can You Hear Me Now Edition)“The Trump Organization today unveiled plans for a new Trump mobile phone service. Best of all, you won’t have any need for a friends and family plan.” — SETH MEYERS“That guy will do anything to try to get his father to answer his phone calls.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on Donald Trump Jr.’s introduction of Trump Mobile“A lot of words come to mind when you think of Trump, but ‘mobile’ isn’t really one of them.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was like, [imitating Trump] ‘It’s called Trump Mobile. But for short, I’m calling it T-Mobile.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Reviews Trump’s Night at the Theater

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      Jimmy Kimmel said that Trump “going to see ‘Les Misérables’ right now is like Kanye going to ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Master of the HousePresident Donald Trump attended the opening night of “Les Misérables” at the Kennedy Center on Wednesday.“Usually, when Trump watches a staged rebellion, it’s Fox News coverage of the ‘riots’ here in L.A.,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.“It’s a musical largely about a revolution. It’s the people standing up against their king. The rebellion happens in Act 2 — or, I should say, it usually happens in Act 2. After Act 1 last night, Trump called in the National Guard and squashed the whole thing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I have to say, Trump going to see ‘Les Misérables’ right now is like Kanye going to ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’ ” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Some cast members from ‘Les Mis’ decided to boycott the performance because President Trump was there. Right now, the only person less popular than Trump in the world of theater is Patti LuPone.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Napoleon Bona-spurs was accompanied by Melania, as is required under Section B Subsection 3 of their prenup, which states, ‘Mrs. Trump shall accompany her husband to no fewer than two public appearances per calendar year during which she shall refrain from open displays of revulsion, disgust, and/or hatred, regardless of current mood or events.’ Also known as ‘date night’ for them.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But Melania, from all accounts, she loved the show. Her favorite song was ‘On My Own.’” — JIMMY KIMMELOn the red carpet, a reporter asked the president if he was more of a Jean Valjean or Javert. “Oh, that’s a tough one,” he replied, and did not supply an answer.“I don’t know what’s worse: that a reporter thought it was a good idea to ask Trump if he’s the hero or the villain, or that Trump’s response was ‘Oof, that’s a tough question.’” — DESI LYDIC“All right, that’s famously not a tough one. There’s a pretty clear good guy and bad guy, but then I think Trump would have the same problem after a screening of ‘Star Wars.’ [imitating Trump] ‘Oh, that’s a tough one. Darth Vader is a mean guy, but also the Skywalker kid was very rude to the gay robot.’” — SETH MEYERS“What do you mean you don’t know? Javert is the bad guy. You just said you’ve seen the show a number of times. Is that number zero?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating Trump] The character I identify with most is Les. Les — Lester Miserables. Big, tough guy. Built that castle on a cloud. Not happy about it.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Desi Lydic Wants Trump to Leave the Troops Alone

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      Hosts ripped into his comment during a speech to troops about former President Joe Biden never having been “the sharpest bulb.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Two Tacos Short of a Happy Meal’President Donald Trump visited soldiers at Fort Bragg on Tuesday, where he delivered a speech to “his favorite men in uniform who aren’t in the Village People,” Desi Lydic said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”“Oh, my God, give these troops a break already! They have to sit through your show, they have to invade Los Angeles, and now they have to parade for you?” — DESI LYDICDuring his speech, Trump attempted to criticize former President Joe Biden’s intelligence, saying, “He’s never been the sharpest bulb.”“He was there to commemorate the 250th anniversary of the army, so, of course, he ended up discussing Joe Biden.” — DESI LYDIC“What a wordsmith. See, see, most people would’ve gone with ‘brightest bulb,’ or ‘sharpest tool,’ but Donald Trump took half of both and smushed them together. That is what makes him the cream of the litter.” — DESI LYDIC“But that’s Trump — he’s not the brightest knife in the drawer. Some say he’s two tacos short of a Happy Meal.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He wasn’t the sharpest bulb, no. He wasn’t the brightest knife in the drawer.” — JIMMY FALLON“When Trump’s staff told him that he misquoted the idiom, he was, like, ‘Hey, who are you calling an idiom?’” — JIMMY FALLON‘Nothing $300 Million Couldn’t Fix’Elon Musk addressed last week’s tweets concerning President Trump on Wednesday, posting on X: “I regret some of my posts about President @realdonaldtrump last week. They went too far.”Jimmy Fallon said he was shocked: “I didn’t know Elon was programmed to feel human emotion.”“Yeah, apparently, Trump and Elon spoke over the phone on Monday night. Trump was very gracious. He was, like, ‘This is nothing another $300 million donation couldn’t fix.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Which ones went too far? Was it the one where you called for him to be impeached and replaced by JD Vance? Was it the one where you said his big, beautiful bill was a disgusting abomination? Was it the one that said he wouldn’t have won the election without you buying it for him? Or the one where you insinuated he is a pedophile on the Epstein list? I really would like to know.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Calls Trump an ‘Arsonist With a Hose’

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      The L.A.-based host said the city’s problem was the president, not the protests: “We have more so-called ‘unrest’ here when one of our teams wins a championship.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fake NewsOn Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel, who’s based in Los Angeles, mocked the idea that protests against immigration raids have turned the city into “some kind of totalitarian hellscape” — a notion pushed by President Trump (and some cable news outlets) as he sent in Marines and the National Guard.“He wants there to be a war going on here, and he doesn’t care who gets hurt in it. There’s no riot outside. We have more so-called ‘unrest’ here when one of our teams wins a championship.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Not only is it not an apocalypse, they’re having a Disney Pixar movie premiere right now, for ‘Elio,’ a movie about aliens. Don’t tell Trump, he’ll send the Green Berets in, too.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, when we had the wildfires that devastated big chunks of our city, he did absolutely nothing. Now that we’re in the middle of a nonemergency: ‘Send in the National Guard!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Putting out a fire you purposely start doesn’t make you a firefighter, it makes you an arsonist with a hose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yes, nothing calms down a situation like a military invasion.” — DESI LYDIC“You know, I’m beginning to wonder if Trump is intentionally trying to escalate this situation because more chaos allows him to portray blue states as centers of crime, while positioning himself as the strongman that the country needs to rally around. No, that’s silly. I’m sure he’s just doing what’s best for everyone.” — DESI LYDIC“Now, as we speak, Trump has sent thousands of troops into downtown L.A. to quell what historians will remember as the Battle of That Video of a Burning Waymo Car They Kept Showing on Cable News.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And to those of you in the National Guard who have been thrust into this: When Donald Trump orders you to do something that you know is immoral, try to get your dad’s podiatrist to write a note to say you have bone spurs.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The president of the United States has been tougher on L.A. than on Russia. Remember that two-week deadline he gave Putin to sit down for peace talks with Ukraine? As of tomorrow, it’s two weeks. But, by all means, send the Marines to The Grove.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s terrible policy has generated a huge backlash, which he’s responded to by overreacting, which is going to generate another backlash. We don’t know how this is going to end, but at least we know it’ll be a huge waste of money.” — DESI LYDIC“I just want to say, thank God for President Trump and the heroes at ICE for protecting us from these bloodthirsty fruit stand vendors, spreading their dangerous pineapple chunks and mangos with a squirt of lime all over the city.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Meanwhile on Fox News Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Revels in Trump and Musk’s Public Feud

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      Stephen Colbert indulged in schadenfreude as he described the back-and-forth as a “full-scale flame war” between “the world’s most famous besties.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Up in FlamesPresident Donald Trump addressed Elon Musk’s comments about his policy bill on Thursday while appearing alongside the chancellor of Germany. Trump expressed disappointment in the Tesla chief, stating that Musk was upset about the absence of a mandate for electric vehicles.Stephen Colbert described the back-and-forth as a “full-scale flame war” between “the world’s most famous besties.”“So now Donald Trump is a Tesla owner who hates Elon Musk? He’s never been more relatable.” — STEPHEN COLBERTTrump stoked the flames on social media, writing that Musk “went crazy” when he was asked to leave the White House.“Just so we’re clear, Trump thinks everything Elon did before this was not crazy?” — JIMMY FALLON“I can’t believe their relationship fell apart this fast. I mean, a week ago they were all over each other like Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner at a Knicks game.” — JIMMY FALLON“But Trump didn’t stop there. He also said that the easiest way for the country to save money would be to terminate all of Elon Musk’s government contracts. Smart, now the future of space exploration rests on Katy Perry.” — JIMMY FALLON“Elon’s government contracts can’t be worth that much. Oh, it’s $6.3 billion last year? Elon, you idiot. This is why you always sign a prenup.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Meanwhile, Elon’s, like, ‘Come on, man, don’t do this. I have 100 kids to feed.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump said he’s very disappointed in Elon because he has ‘helped him a lot.’ Trump was, like, ‘[imitating Trump] Just last year, I let him give me $300 million, and he didn’t even say thank you.’” — JIMMY FALLONOn X, Musk dropped what he called “the really big bomb,” alleging that the president has not released the Jeffrey Epstein files because he is named in them.“I feel bad for Donald Trump. I mean, first, he lost Jeffrey Epstein, now, Elon. He’s running out of friends.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s going to have to get one of those bumper stickers for his Tesla that says ‘I bought this before Elon told everyone I was on Epstein’s plane.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Wonders if Elon Musk’s Ketamine Has Worn Off

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      It’s the only explanation the “Late Show” host can think of for the tech mogul’s apparent disenchantment with the Trump administration.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘I Have How Many Children?’The hosts got more monologue material on Wednesday from the presumed tensions between President Trump and Elon Musk, after the tech mogul and recently departed D.O.G.E. chief criticized Trump’s policy bill.“Apparently, the ketamine has worn off,” Stephen Colbert said.“That’s got to be a hell of a hangover. ‘[imitating Musk] Oh, my god. I spent $300 million to elect who? I have how many children? That can’t be their names.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’m starting to worry that two narcissistic megalomaniacs with a total inability to see value in other humans might have a hard time making friends.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Musk was reportedly ‘butthurt’ — and yes, they did use that word, it is a quote — about some of the stuff that’s in the bill. Usually when Elon’s butt hurts, it’s because of all the drugs he is trying to smuggle through White House security.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I keep waiting to see Musk on a one-way SpaceX to El Salvador.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“‘I hear he is furious’ is the safest bet anyone could make when describing Donald Trump’s reaction to criticism. Let me know when someone says, ‘Insiders reporting that Donald Trump looking inward; reflecting on what role he may have played in turning his friend against him.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Fine Print Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More