“Once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed,” Trevor Noah said. “Nobody!”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Master of None
After a summer full of breaks, guest hosts and repeats, late-night hosts returned to the air on Tuesday, just in time to talk about the documents the F.B.I. found at Mar-a-Lago and the appointment of a special master to review them.
Trevor Noah said he’d never heard of a special master before, adding that “once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed. Nobody!”
“I didn’t even know it was an option. I’ve watched 10 million hours of ‘Law & Order.’ I know about subpoenas, I know about breaking the chain of custody, objection, sustained, overruled, sidebar in my chambers — but not once have I heard the term ‘special master.’ Once again, thanks to Trump, because of his hard work and dedication to doing crimes, we’ve all learned something new today, and I say thank you, Mr. President.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Which, I’m not going to lie, when I first heard it, sounded pretty cool. It was like, ‘Donald Trump is getting a special master.’ I was like, ‘He’s about to learn kung fu?’” — TREVOR NOAH
“Who the special master will be, we do not know. Maybe they can get Eric to do it. He’s special, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That’s right, the special master has to review over 11,000 documents, which could delay the investigation. Man, only Trump could avoid jail just because there’s too much evidence.” — JIMMY FALLON
“I’ve got to say, ‘special master’ actually sounds kind of kinky. [imitating deep voice] ‘You will address me as special master, and you will submit … your motion to dismiss no later than 3 p.m. Friday. Now beg for my gavel.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Secret Documents Edition)
“You know, I’ve been trying to understand how he could possibly believe he had the right to take all those documents to his house. It’s weird that a person who barely reads would even want documents. It’s like finding out your dog collects stamps.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But even more concerning is that the F.B.I. also found dozens of classified folders that were empty, which obviously raises the question, where are the documents from the folders? Are they in other boxes? Did he lend them to Saudi Arabia? Or maybe — maybe it’s more innocent, yeah. Maybe Trump keeps a bunch of folders labeled ‘classified’ so he can give them to friends with photocopies of his butt inside.” — TREVOR NOAH
“It’s also possible the intelligence community didn’t trust Trump with classified information so they just gave him empty folders.” — TREVOR NOAH
“The feds also recovered documents related to the use of ‘clandestine human sources’ in intelligence gathering. That means lists of our secret operatives in foreign governments. Why would he have those? Is he writing a new spy thriller: ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Woman, Man, Camera, T.V.’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
On “The Tonight Show,” Hillary Clinton reacted to Jimmy Fallon’s monologue about what the F.B.I. found while searching Mar-a-Lago.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The singer Fletcher will make her late-night debut on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
After a lengthy hiatus, the art rock trio Yeah Yeah Yeahs is returning with a new studio album, “Cool It Down,” on Sept. 30.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
