Amy Winehouse’s parents Mitch and Janis have shared excerpts from her private journals in honor of the late singer’s 40th birthday.
The poignant entries provide insight into the much-love star’s unique perspective as she embraced her individuality and being “different’ to everyone else” during her rise to fame.
Amy’s reflections touch on her hopes for love and her dream partner, while revealing her struggle with inner demons.
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Amy tragically passed away on July 23, 2011, succumbing to alcohol poisoning after battling addiction and bulimia.
Amid her tumultuous journey, she recognized her distinctive identity.
In passages revealed by The Telegraph, Amy expresses: “I’m pleased that I’m different. It’s not like I want to be like everyone else.
“I love having my own individual style. I love being loud and mouthing off to people. It’s the way I am.’
She contemplates the possibility of love, sharing: “Sometimes I think, I wonder if there’s someone, some guy out there who’s as crazy as me? A nice guy with dark hair, who wears glasses to read and is a real Indie kid? Piercings optional, Scottish or Irish accent preferably!
“And why do all my brother’s friends fit this description, yet I’m much too young to do anything about it? Is love ever going to cross my path or am I destined to go out with metalheads or gorgeous guys with NO BRAIN. (One thing I despise).”
Amy also grapples with her temper, admitting: “I hate my temper. At times it eats away at me so much that I get physically violent with those I love. However much I say I’m sorry, it’s something they can never forget.”
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Her parents reveal that her writings didn’t convey as much torment as expected, but acknowledge their limited understanding of her complex nature.
Amy’s life saw high-profile relationships, including her marriage to Blake Fielder-Civil, marked by substance abuse.
Six months into their marriage, Blake was jailed for his part in an assault on a pub landlord.
During that time, Amy went to rehab, got a boyfriend and turned her back on hard drugs.
Blake filed for divorce from the singer shortly after his release and while she tried to get back with him, the divorce went ahead.
Blake was in prison serving a 32 month prison sentence when he discovered Amy had died in 2011.
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Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk