“This explains everything, and nothing,” Stephen Colbert said about the presidential hopeful’s newly reported parasite.
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Food for Thought
The presidential hopeful Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said during a 2012 deposition that doctors told him a parasite had eaten part of his brain.
“This explains everything, and nothing,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.
“I just want to say to any R.F.K. Jr. fans who might be watching, do not despair. Just because he has sworn in a deposition that he has parasitic brain damage doesn’t mean he’s going to drop out, because Bobby Kennedy Jr. does not know the meaning of the word ‘quit’ — ’cause that information was in the part of the brain that the worm ate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“His family’s like, ‘It is true, but it still doesn’t explain why he’s like that.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“And this is strange: Instead of using dewormer, he injected himself with a Covid vaccine.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Apparently, the worm was giving him all his ideas, like in ‘Ratatouille.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“I don’t know what’s worse — that R.F.K. Jr. had a worm that was eating his brain or that his brain is so poisoned that it killed the worm.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Cause of death: starvation.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“For a guy who seems to believe doctors are con artists trying to scam you into getting a vaccine, he sure did get to one fast when a worm started eating his brain.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The inside of his head is basically the movie ‘Dune,’ but you should definitely vote for him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The New York Times today published a report on independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s health issues, including a dead worm in his brain. Or as that’s known in Libertarian circles, a running mate.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Kristi Noem’s Press Tour Edition)
“Former President Trump said that South Dakota governor Kristi Noem has had a ‘rough couple of days.’ Said Noem, ‘Who said ‘ruff’?” — SETH MEYERS
“Yeah, she needs more bad press like she needs a hole in her dog.” — SETH MEYERS
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
