Rudy Giuliani’s intoxication on election night was the focus of Monday’s Jan. 6 hearings and late-night monologues.
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How Could They Tell?
During the House committee hearing Monday on the Jan. 6 assault on the Capitol, Jason Miller, former aide to Donald Trump, told the panel that Rudy Giuliani was “definitely intoxicated” on election night when he told the former president that the election had been stolen.
“You know, when you think about it, it makes sense that Trump would listen to a drunk person, because that’s the one time people probably sound like him,” Trevor Noah said.
“The House committee investigating the Capitol attack today held its second public hearing. They weren’t going to, but then Rudy Giuliani said, ‘Make it a double!’” — SETH MEYERS
“So we’re just going to blame this entire thing on the alcohol?” — JAMES CORDEN
“Yeah, according to a former Trump aide, Rudy Giuliani was wasted on election night when he told Trump that the election was stolen from him. And I am just curious about how you even know when Rudy Giuliani is drunk. No, because when a normal person is drunk, they say crazy things, they yell, they sweat a lot. So how does that work with Rudy — does it work in reverse? Does he start talking normally, his hair dye sucks back into his hair? How does it work?” — TREVOR NOAH
“They were all telling him, ‘You lost this election, sir,’ but Trump was like: ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever. Drunk vampire, what do you think?’” — TREVOR NOAH
“It’s a bit of a leading question. They followed up by asking, ‘Do you notice anyone that night who was maybe farting while leaking hair dye and ranting in front of a dildo shop? Anyone like that? Could be anyone. Take your time — think back.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Miller’s being asked if anyone was drunk on election night.
“It’s so funny to me how in all these depositions, Trump aides are all hemming and hawing, pausing and taking their time to use the most precise legal language possible because they’re under oath, but then as soon as someone asks, ‘Was anyone drunk at the White House?’ they all immediately buzz in like the overeager uncle on ‘Family Feud’: ‘Rudy! It was Rudy!’” — SETH MEYERS
“Let me help you out here. There are five levels of intoxication on the Rudy breathalyzer: over the legal limit, rooting around the dumpster for empties, rooting around in his pants in ‘Borat,’ planning coup in a blackout and ‘The Masked Singer.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I can’t believe this. A drunk Rudy Giuliani told Trump to claim he won the election. And then he said, ‘I love you, man’ six times and dropped his phone in the toilet.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Punchiest Punchlines (Reality Show Ratings Edition)
“Today was Episode 2 of the hot new reality show ‘The Jan. 6 Committee Hearings.’ We’re all waiting to find out if the former president gets to go to the fantasy suite with Lady Justice. She’s blind, so he’s got a shot.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Episode 1 was a huge hit, because at least 20 million people watched Thursday’s hearing. We were live, OK? That’s the kind of audience usually reserved for ‘Sunday Night Football.’ Makes sense because Thursday’s hearing featured even more guys with brain damage.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“For the first hearing on Thursday, over 20 million people tuned in, which is higher than this year’s N.B.A. finals. Trump was torn — he didn’t know whether to worry about the hearing or brag about the ratings.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Fox News today also aired coverage of the House Jan. 6 committee’s second hearing. Said viewers: ‘Babe! I’m on TV!’” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” hosted another segment of “Mean Tweets” featuring N.B.A. players like Andre Drummond and Russell Westbrook on Monday’s show.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Bonnie Raitt will perform on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Jennifer Hudson, a producer of “A Strange Loop,” became an EGOT on Sunday when the musical won big at this year’s Tony Awards.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
