Hosts did their best to bring levity to their shows on an otherwise somber day.
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What Is It Good For?
Late night hosts got serious on Thursday discussing Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
Stephen Colbert called it “a dark day.”
“Over the last five years, we’ve seen democracy repeatedly undermined, tragic, unprecedented firestorms, a global pandemic,” Colbert said. “Well this morning, Vladimir Putin looked at all of that and said, ‘Hold my vodka.’”
James Corden forewent any attempt at jokes at the top of his show and delivered a somber monologue instead.
“But today, if you are thinking about the news, there is really only one news story, and that news is so dark. That a war has begun, a sovereign country has been invaded, and all day today, and then tonight, and now as I sit here, I can’t — all I can think about is the innocent men and women and children in Ukraine who are terrified for their lives and I don’t know how to process it. Like, I don’t even know how to talk about this to my own children, let alone begin talking to you about it on television. And it’s weird, you know, like just because I wear a suit and I sit behind this desk, it doesn’t really mean anything. I am not nearly qualified enough to speak about these events. I’m not. And I don’t really want to make jokes about any other trivial news story that we found today, because I can’t shake the feeling of how utterly terrifying all of this is, and how scared the people of Ukraine must be feeling today; how scared everyone in Eastern Europe must be feeling today. And I’m sure I can’t fathom that this is happening in 2022 and the ramifications of this are monumental, and we should be under no illusion of how serious and sad the situation in Ukraine is. So, I don’t know what to say other than our thoughts are with every single person in Ukraine tonight.”— JAMES CORDEN
“Amidst all this horror, it’s important to keep our eyes on the unhinged fascist lunatic,” Colbert said, referring to former president Donald Trump, who doubled down on his support of Putin.
“You know, it’s hard to do a comedy show when there’s a war going on, but we are here while more than 6,000 miles away, women and children are fleeing Ukraine. Men aged 18 to 60 are required to stay and fight as Russian forces continue their unprovoked attack — an attack that has been received here in the United States, like, I don’t remember anything like this, in that some of us seem OK with it. You know, typically we would band together in a situation like this. We’d be united, but that was before the great divider chopped us in half.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Russian President Vladimir Putin declared war last night against Ukraine, and this is nice: Trump offered to host the after party.” — SETH MEYERS
“So, if you were like most people, you were shocked and horrified. But if you were Donald Trump, apparently you were at Mar-a-Lago watching it with a bunch of Palm Beach plastic surgeons and their third wives and thinking, ‘You really got to hand it to Vladimir Putin.’” — SETH MEYERS
“While Vladimir Putin is being condemned by leaders and ambassadors from every democratic country around the world, Donald Trump, our former president, was complimenting him and, of course, himself, while bombs were falling on a country that did nothing to provoke an invasion.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Then, as the invasion began, the ex-prez took to Russian state media — sorry, I misread that: Fox News.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It takes a special kind of a son of a [expletive] to see innocent people fleeing their homes and think, ‘How can I make this about me?’ But nobody does that better than Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Can you imagine if any other president behaved this way? This would be like if during World War II, Hoover came out and said, ‘Attaboy, Adolf. Sweet mustache. I love what you’re doing there.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Say ‘Aaaah!’ Edition)
“As you know, Russia is now at war with Ukraine. It is a crazy world we’re living in. In fact, today President Biden asked the C.D.C. to find a new variant just to lighten the mood.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yep, Russian president Vladimir Putin has launched a full-scale invasion of Ukraine. I think Putin has lost his mind. Even Kim Jong-un was like, ‘You’re not actually supposed to do it.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, World War III, a global pandemic, the queen has Covid, rising inflation. Billy Joel’s already working on a remix of ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Listen, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but one thing’s for sure: Putin should fire those peacekeepers. You had one job!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This is the biggest ground war in Europe since World War II, and the whole world is in shock. That’s why today’s Wordle was ‘Aaaah!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon, Questlove and Higgins tried to guess if an audience member was hiding a mustache under his mask.
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
