“The Daily Show” guest host said that impeaching President Biden would “be a terrible precedent to set — I don’t want to see Tom Hanks go to jail.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Not-So Like Father, Like Son
Hunter Biden spoke outside of U.S. Capitol this week, criticizing Republicans for making light of his addiction struggles and also offering to publicly testify on behalf of his father in the new impeachment investigation into President Joe Biden.
On “The Daily Show,” guest host Kal Penn joked that President Biden’s only crime “is having a messed-up son, which would be a terrible precedent to set — I don’t want to see Tom Hanks go to jail.”
“That’s right, Hunter Biden spoke to reporters yesterday and said that his father was, “not financially involved in any of his business ventures.” Well, I believe that. He seems like the kind of dad who wouldn’t even get involved in your lemonade stand when you were a kid. [imitating Joe Biden] ‘You want to sell lemonade, do you? I guess you better get busy planting a lemon tree.’” — SETH MEYERS
“To be fair, we can’t say for sure whether Biden ever did anything shady with his son’s business dealings. Their story has changed over time, but we do know that Republicans don’t actually give a [expletive] about people profiting off the presidency, because Donald Trump was the president. He had so many schemes going on, running the country was basically his side hustle.” — KAL PENN
“Unfortunately, when it comes to Hunter Biden, Republicans are also struggling with addiction.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Got Milk? Edition)
“To be fair, before leaving town, Congress did tackle the nation’s most pressing issue and passed a bill allowing schools to serve whole milk. I mean, what are the chances of that passing — 1 percent, 2 percent, tops.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It’s all part of Congress’s new dairy campaign: ‘Got anything that’ll distract people from our incompetence?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, this bill passed with bipartisan support, but it was a particular priority for Republicans, which makes sense. I mean, you can’t look at this party and tell me you’re surprised they are obsessed with milk.” — KAL PENN
“How much energy does milk give you if Santa has to stop and drink more at every house? Santa doesn’t need milk, he needs one of those Panera lemonades.” — KAL PENN
“By the way, are kids really out there demanding whole milk? They’re school kids — they want Capri Suns or, at best, milk-flavored vapes.” — KAL PENN
“But, I got to be honest, there isn’t actually a good reason not to expand milk options for kids: Milk is kind of disgusting. Like is that weird that we drink milk as a species? It’s not your mom’s milk. It’s not even your friend’s mom. It’s like a completely different animal.” — KAL PENN
The Bits Worth Watching
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
