Meyers tried out a few catchphrases for DiGiorno’s seasonal offering, while Jimmy Fallon suggested some last-minute Turkey Day substitutions.
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It’s Not Delivery, It’s …
Seth Meyers tried out several catchphrases for DiGiorno’s frozen Thanksgiving pizza, which features roasted turkey, green beans, cranberries and gravy.
“Because some years, Dad gets the kids on Thanksgiving,” Meyers offered.
“But don’t worry: I’m sure next year you’ll have something to be thankful for.” — SETH MEYERS
For those going the more traditional route, Jimmy Fallon had a few suggestions for last-minute Turkey Day substitutions on “The Tonight Show.”
“For instance, if you can’t find a turkey, you can slap two booties on a Costco rotisserie chicken,” Fallon said.
“If you can’t find wine, you can bust out the expired Robitussin — it works!” — JIMMY FALLON
“If you can’t find a gravy boat, get this, you can run your neti pot through the dishwasher and call it a day.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Next up, if you can’t find mashed potatoes, corn, and mac and cheese, you can DoorDash Boston Market, then put a finger to the delivery guy’s lips and whisper, ‘Our little secret.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“And, finally, if you can’t find salad, you can forget about it, ’cause nobody really wants salad.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Black Friday Eve Edition)
“Yep, Thanksgiving is just hours away. Right now, people are looking at the turkeys left in the grocery store, like, ‘What’s wrong with you?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“I read that Abraham Lincoln declared Thanksgiving an official holiday in 1863. During the Civil War, Lincoln saw all the fighting and was like, ‘This, but with cranberry sauce.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“A record number of Americans are traveling for Thanksgiving, and today was expected to be the busiest travel day of the year. But here’s the good news: If you’re currently at the airport, you will make it home for Christmas.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Bargain hunters are gearing up for Black Friday. In fact, right now at Walmart, there’s already a half-hour wait to get trampled to death.” — TOM SHILLUE, guest host of “Gutfeld”
“Organizers have announced that Amazon workers in more than 20 countries are planning to go on strike between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, which could affect Amazon’s ability to get your Christmas gifts to you two weeks late.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Ben Stiller and Katie Holmes played a game of “Catchphrase” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The Meyers family will appear on Seth Meyers’s Thanksgiving episode of “Late Night.”
Also, Check This Out
Daniel Craig is sensitive and seductive in “Queer,” Luca Guadagnino’s feature film adaptation of the William S. Burroughs novella.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
