“You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Colbert said of a Wall Street Journal article on the president’s aptitude.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Old News
The Wall Street Journal published an article about the president this week with the headline: “Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.”
“You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Stephen Colbert said. “Which, of course, could disqualify him from being president. After all, being old is a felony.”
“Pretty sure one of these guys had a bunch of felonies. Oh, it’s the other guy? Thirty-four? And he’s old, too?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday titled ‘Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.’ Yeah, we know. Sometimes he doesn’t even make it to the door.” — SETH MEYERS
“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday that claims President Biden appears to be slipping in private meetings. He keeps saying crazy stuff that makes no sense like, ‘a convicted felon is beating me in the polls.’” — SETH MEYERS
“This blockbuster lid-blower-offer also included this little nugget explaining that Biden is someone who has both good moments and bad ones, in a clear contrast with his opponent, who only has bad ones.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Still, I am confident that The Wall Street Journal knows ‘Old Man is Old’ is breaking news, but I’m sure they will balance that perspective in their article about their 93-year-old boss Rupert Murdoch’s wedding: ‘Young Buck Ready to [Expletive].’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Boeing in Space Edition)
“The first-ever manned flight of the Boeing Starliner spacecraft launched today after multiple delays, with a pair of NASA astronauts onboard. Boeing seems to have trouble getting to Cincinnati. I don’t know, should they be going — should they be heading into space? I don’t know. They put extra duct tape on the doors just to be safe.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“They were aiming for Cleveland, but, still, good for them.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Imagine being surrounded by bags of urine and then hearing ‘Don’t worry, there’s a Boeing on the way to help.’” — JIMMY FALLON, on the Starliner delivering a new urine processing pump to the space station to replace a broken one
“Seriously, you thought it was rough when you forgot to change the filter on your Brita.” — JIMMY FALLON
“I’ll tell you, that definitely isn’t on the list of activities at space camp.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I had no idea being an astronaut was so glamorous.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The comedian Joel Kim Booster remembered the first time he met Ronny Chieng on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The comedian and “Stress Positions” star John Early will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night.”
Also, Check This Out
The actress, writer and New York icon Julia Fox dished on being an “It Girl” for the latest episode of Popcast.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
