“People waited all day for white smoke to emerge from the capital, signaling a new leader,” Jimmy Fallon joked after Congressional Democrats met in Washington on Tuesday.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Blowing Smoke
Congressional Democrats met in Washington on Tuesday to discuss their concerns about President Biden’s re-election campaign.
“People waited all day for white smoke to emerge from the Capitol, signaling a new leader,” Jimmy Fallon said.
“So today, Congressional Democrats gathered behind closed doors to talk about Biden’s future in what one of them called a ‘come-to-Jesus meeting.’ No, no! Do not let Joe come anywhere near Jesus until Nov. 6. Walk away from the light, Joe. Get away!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Some described the meeting as very positive, while others said the room was filled with sadness. So, basically, our government has the same plot as ‘Inside Out 2.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Reports say the mood of the meeting was very somber, with some members comparing it to a funeral, while another said that analogy was an insult to funerals. Hey, Democrats, keep it light.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Meanwhile, that big old flirt President Biden hosted world leaders at the NATO summit in Washington today. But only one of them will be the next Golden Bachelor.” — KATHRYN HAHN, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”
“When Biden walked into the room with 31 world leaders, he wasn’t sure if it was a NATO summit or an intervention.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (America’s Next Top Vice President Edition)
“With the convention starting on Monday, the question on a lot of people’s minds is who will Donald Trump pick as his running mate? And, as of this taping, the latest reports say that Trump has narrowed it down to three: Senators Marco Rubio, J.D. Vance and North Dakota’s governor, Doug Burgum, a.k.a. the cute one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It’s the perfect, perfect time for a reality show president to pick his running mate via reality show: [imitating Trump] ‘I see before me three beautiful candidates, but, sadly, only one can be America’s next top vice president.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump wanting to announce his running mate at the Republican National Convention
“Trump needs someone who is going to help him win, so right now the front-runner is Joe Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Trump’s campaign needs to win over women and minorities, which is why he’s narrowed it down to two white guys.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Aasif Mandvi, a former correspondent of “The Daily Show,” returned to promote his new horror-comedy series, “Evil.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan will discuss her new memoir, “True Gretch,” on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Stephen King, Roxane Gay, Sarah Jessica Parker and more shared their picks for the top 10 books of the 21st century.
Source: Television - nytimes.com