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    Late Night Finds Trump to Be His Own Worst Enemy

    “Yeah, Trump was, like, ‘I just saved the economy from me. You’re welcome,’” Jimmy Fallon said on “The Tonight Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Marked Safe From SelfJust hours after instituting new global tariffs on Wednesday, President Donald Trump reversed course and announced a 90-day pause for some countries.Late night hosts were united in believing that Trump needed to act swiftly to safeguard the economy from his own actions.“Yeah, Trump was, like, ‘I just saved the economy from me. You’re welcome,’” Jimmy Fallon said on “The Tonight Show.”“Thank God he is there, to stop him from doing the things he does there.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Ah, yes, ‘The Art of the Deal’: create a global crisis and then dig yourself halfway out. It’s truly masterful, Donald.” — DESI LYDIC“You don’t get credit for releasing someone you trapped in your basement. That’s not how it works.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON“It’s been fun watching this lunatic gamble our life savings this week. It’s like — it’s like handing your Social Security check to your dog and sending it to Caesar’s Palace: ‘If the dealer has 16, stay, OK? Stay.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump today announced a 90-day pause on tariffs for some countries and increased the duty on Chinese imports to 125 percent. Where did he learn his trade policies, from a kid in an elevator — just pushing random buttons to see what happens?” — SETH MEYERS“Come on, Trump, just admit that you started a game of chicken and you got too scared to finish it.” — DESI LYDIC“With the tariffs paused, the U.S. now has three months to work out all its relationships with all these countries. Basically, our economy now mimics the exact plot of ‘90 Day Fiance.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Yippy and Queasy Edition)“Trump said that he paused tariffs because people were getting ‘yippy’ and ‘queasy.’ Then Trump tried naming the other seven dwarves.” — JIMMY FALLON“Sorry, I tend to get a little yippy when my retirement plan starts to look like the elevator from ‘The Shining.’” — DESI LYDICWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Late Night Frantically Tries to Keep Up With Trump’s Tariffs

    “I’d say he’s like a bull in a china shop, but at 104 percent, I can’t afford to say that,” Desi Lydic said of President Trump on “The Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Doing the MathPresident Trump’s latest tariffs — which, among other things, raised import taxes on Chinese goods to 104 percent — went into effect at midnight on Wednesday.Desi Lydic described Trump as “out of control right now” during Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”“I’d say he’s like a bull in a china shop, but at 104 percent, I can’t afford to say that.” — DESI LYDIC“OK, this is getting really serious. We’ll know exactly how serious once we ask China to do the math for us.” — DESI LYDIC“China said the tariffs are ‘a mistake on top of a mistake,’ which is also what Trump said when Eric was born.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“How is he coming up with these numbers, I don’t know. ‘What do you think about a tariff of 100 percent on China?’ ‘Not enough, make it 104.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump isn’t messing around with China. Now he’s threatened to not invite them to his birthday party.” — JIMMY FALLON“As a result of the tariffs, Americans are now racing to buy iPhones before prices increase. Yep, iPhones and toilet paper, our two most essential bathroom items.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Dodgers Edition)“At a White House event yesterday celebrating the Los Angeles Dodgers’ World Series championship, President Trump said that the team ‘showed America that it’s not about individual glory,’ adding, ‘but I decided to invite you anyway.’” — SETH MEYERS“President Trump praised star player Shohei Ohtani and added, ‘He’s got a good future, I’m telling you.’ Not exactly a bold prediction. ‘[imitating Trump] I think that guy who won three M.V.P. awards could turn out to be a pretty good ballplayer!’ Any other predictions you want to make, Nostradamus? ‘[imitating Trump] I think that Taylor Swift is going to sell some concert tickets someday!’” — SETH MEYERS“[imitating umpire] His brain is outta here!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Donald Trump met with the world-champion Los Angeles Dodgers at the White House, where Trump used the opportunity to deport Shohei Ohtani.” — GREG GUTFELDThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon and Ed Sheeran surprised fans by busking in a New York City subway station on “The Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe actor and comedian Bill Hader will appear on “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney.”Also, Check This OutYoko Ono and John Lennon’s famed “Bed-In” for peace in 1969.Charlie Ley/Mirrorpix, viq Getty ImagesA new film and a biography offer more opportunities to assess Yoko Ono’s contributions to culture. More

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    Jon Stewart Can’t Stomach Trump’s Stock Market ‘Medicine’

    The “Daily Show” host said America’s economy was “in the midst of a beautiful metamorphosis, turning from a simple caterpillar into a dead caterpillar.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bad MedicineStock markets have been hammered by President Trump’s sweeping tariffs, which he insists will eventually revitalize the American economy.Jon Stewart had a different take on Monday’s “Daily Show.” He said the economy was “in the midst of a beautiful metamorphosis, turning from a simple caterpillar into a dead caterpillar.”“[imitating Trump] Hey, Mom, look — no economy!” — JON STEWART“President Trump likened the U.S. to a sick patient and his trade policies to an operation in a Truth Social post last week and said, ‘THE OPERATION IS OVER! THE PATIENT LIVED AND IS HEALING.’ Sounds great, until you remember that the surgeon didn’t go to medical school.” — SETH MEYERS“You’re all acting like the tariff regime is a tried-and-true remedy: ‘Oh, of course, this is the medicine that’s always prescribed!’ Except the last time it was tried, 100 years ago, we had a Great Depression.” — JON STEWART“And tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1929.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, guys, everyone is still talking about President Trump’s new tariffs and how they’re impacting the economy. Trump defended them by saying, ‘Sometimes you have to take medicine to fix something.’ RFK Jr. heard and was, like, ‘Then why did you hire me?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump thinks that he’s a medicine expert because he’s the same color as DayQuil.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Hole in None Edition)“After the White House reported that President Trump won the senior club championship at his Florida golf club, the Washington Post reported that he tied for first with another player. But in the end, the Supreme Court gave it to Trump.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s good to see him relaxing. Killing the economy can be stressful.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course he won. Anyone who beats him gets deported to El Salvador.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] What’s my handicap? I’d say a complete inability to empathize with my fellow human beings. That’s a big one.” — SETH MEYERS“Also, buddy, you won the senior club championship at a resort with your name on it. That’s like my kids bragging that they beat me in Uno. They win Uno for one reason only: I want the [expletive] Uno game to be over, and I’m sure people who golf with Trump feel the same way.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Monday’s “Late Show,” Stephen Colbert talked with Senator Cory Booker about his recent 25-hour speech on the Senate floor.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe “White Lotus” star Walton Goggins has some explaining to do on Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutJasmine Amy Rogers brings charm to the title role, but “Boop! The Musical” leaves you wondering why it exists.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesBetty Boop, the flapper of early talkie cartoons, now has her own subpar merch grab of a Broadway show, “Boop! The Musical.” More

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    Stephen Colbert Likens Trump’s Tariffs to an Economic Infection

    “Has anyone thought about injecting our money with bleach?” Colbert said after President Trump’s new tariffs tanked the stock market on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Downward SpiralThe stock market had its worst day in five years on Thursday, the first day of trading on Wall Street since President Trump announced his new tariffs.“So, worst day for our economy since Covid,” Stephen Colbert said. “Just a little reminder: This time, he’s the disease.”“Has anyone — and I’m just spitballin’ here — has anyone thought about injecting our money with bleach?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Everyone’s wondering how Trump decided on a tariff rate for each country. Well, it turns out a very precise mathematical formula was created. And then Trump just said, ‘Forget that — we’re doing it Plinko style.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump’s tariffs went all the way from 54 percent to 10 percent, and today, so did his approval rating.” — JIMMY FALLON“But, you know what, I’m not too concerned about Donald Trump not understanding how his tariffs work, because he’s Donald Trump — he doesn’t understand how to make money running a casino.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Now, one bit of good news comin’ out of all this: It’s all pretty solid proof there is no deep state, ’cause if there was, they would’ve stopped this [expletive], OK? But if they do exist, I just want to say to the cabal of financial and governmental elites who pull all the strings behind the scenes, maybe put a pause on your 5G-chip JFK Jr. adrenochrome chemtrail orgy and jump in here, ’cause we’re [expletive] dying.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Mr. Worldwide Edition)“Yesterday, Donald Trump announced sweeping tariffs across the entire globe: Asia, South America, Narnia, Arendelle, Wakanda, Bachelor Nation.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“President Trump yesterday announced a base line tariff affecting more than 180 countries, including a group of uninhabited islands near Antarctica. So, let that be a warning to you, great Pacific garbage patch.” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, we put a 10 percent tariff on an island that only has penguins? Trump would have been better off tariffing that island Tom Hanks got stranded on. At least it had one guy and that li’l volleyball he was [expletive].” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Is this a mistake? Look, I know old people butt-dial strangers all the time, but this is the first time I’ve heard of someone butt-tariffing an entire country.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Yep, Trump put tariffs on almost every single country, and as you would expect, the world is pretty mad at us. Right now, Epcot is down to two countries.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThursday’s “Tonight Show” musical guest Perfume Genius performed “It’s a Mirror” from his new album “Glory.”Also, Check This Out“‘The Lost Albums’ were full records, some of them even to the point of being mixed and not released,” Bruce Springsteen said in a statement.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesBruce Springsteen announced a new boxed set featuring 83 songs, including 74 that have never been released. More

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    Late Night Debriefs After a ‘Tariff-fying’ Day at the White House

    Stephen Colbert said that, thanks to President Trump, “America is finally free from the tyranny of being able to buy stuff from other countries.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Just ‘Tariffic’On Wednesday, President Donald Trump held an event at the White House to announce new international tariffs during what he referred to as “Liberation Day.”Stephen Colbert said that, thanks to Trump, “America is finally free from the tyranny of being able to buy stuff from other countries.”“Who’s ready to learn how to make their own iPad from scratch?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Right, ‘Liberation Day. That sounds like the fake holiday your friends make up after you get dumped: ‘No, man. Who needs that beautiful, smart, independently wealthy woman in your life, when you can die alone? This is your liberation day, bro!’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“OK, so Liberation Day is just the day that Trump announced new tariffs. I kind of doubt this day will be remembered for all of history, but if you give me a day off from work, you can call it whatever you want.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Now, you might be thinking, ‘What am I even being liberated from? The ability to afford goods and services?’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Reportedly, Trump was still weighing tariff options until late yesterday. Now, if you’re not steeped in the wonky language of Beltway insiders, that basically means they were spitballin’ ideas through the bathroom door at 3 a.m.: ‘[imitating Trump] Tell you what: What if Ireland has to pay extra to be, uh — to be on the Lucky Charms box? What about that? I’m just spitballin’ here. We stop Count Chocula at the border.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, in his speech, Trump said, ‘[imitating Trump] We’ll make America wealthy again, like it was at the start of my presidency. Six months ago.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Trump announced tariffs on aluminum, steel and several other items that popped into his head mid-speech.” — JIMMY FALLON“He also expanded the tariffs on aluminum to include canned beer. Even Kid Rock was, like, ‘Um, what are we doing here, man?’” — JIMMY FALLON“The tariffs will raise prices for Americans, and costs could go up by $3,000 per year. Netflix was, like, ‘Game recognize game.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Holding It Edition)“Democratic Senator Cory Booker delivered a 25-hour, four-minute speech yesterday on the Senate floor, shattering Adrien Brody’s record.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Senator Cory Booker broke the record last night for the longest speech ever delivered on the Senate floor. The previous record was held by Joe Biden after somebody asked, ‘What was it like growing up in Scranton?’” — SETH MEYERS“What an amazing day for Cory Booker. Not so great for the C-SPAN cameraman, who missed the birth of his first child and kindergarten graduation.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“After his speech, Booker said he hadn’t eaten since Friday and stopped drinking fluids on Sunday so he wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders went to the bathroom three different times during this joke.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Late Night Is Expecting Tariffs With a Side of Drama

    New tariffs will be unveiled at the White House Rose Garden — because “when you elect a reality TV star, you get all your economic policy via rose ceremony,” said Stephen Colbert. Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Pack Your Lederhosen’President Trump plans to announce yet more tariffs in the White House Rose Garden on Wednesday (he’s calling it “Liberation Day”).“Like everything, he’s got to make it a spectacle,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday.“Because when you elect a reality TV star, you get all your economic policy via rose ceremony.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating Trump] Germany, I enjoyed our time in the fantasy suite, but your home visit left me cold. Thirty percent tariffs across the board. Pack your lederhosen, Fräulein.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yes, ‘Liberation Day.’ I’m reminded of the immortal words of Patrick Henry: ‘Give me liberty or charge me an extra $10,000 for a Hyundai Elantra.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Trump is set to announce a new set of tariffs tomorrow in what he said will be ‘Liberation Day.’ Ah, yes, the day we’ll all finally be liberated from our 401(k)s.” — SETH MEYERS“Yep, Trump’s calling tomorrow ‘Liberation Day,’ while every stockbroker is calling it ‘Inebriation Day.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Right now, everyone who has invested their savings in Beanie Babies is like, ‘Well, well, well, who’s the idiot now?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Administrative Error Edition)“On Sunday night, President Trump deported more gang members to El Salvador, including child rapists and convicted killers. It’s all part of a bigger plan to make El Salvador more like Times Square.” — GREG GUTFELDWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    John Mulaney Says His New Show Is Netflix’s Mistake

    The comedian said Netflix “picked up this show by accident. They thought that it was a true-crime documentary because I look like a disappeared boy.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Live From L.A. (Again)Netflix launched its new late-night show, “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney,” on Wednesday. In his monologue, Mulaney promised 12 episodes of a “jazzlike, unpredictable talk show.”“I’m not gonna lie — we’ve been working on this episode all day. Some crew got here as early as 9 a.m.” — JOHN MULANEY“I can’t do coke or Adderall anymore, so I’m making it your problem. Will this show get my heart rate up to the level where I feel alive? We shall see.” — JOHN MULANEYJohn Mulaney is your problem now. #EverybodysLive pic.twitter.com/xiIT2JYFlu— Netflix (@netflix) March 13, 2025

    The comedian reminded viewers that he’d had an earlier show with a similar concept: a six-episode live series called “Everybody’s in L.A.” that ended last May. While fans enjoyed its unpredictability, the show’s name was a turnoff in Netflix screen tests, he said: “It turns out that people around the country don’t like L.A.”“After the fires, I said, ‘Maybe they like us more now,’ so we tested it again, and it turns out, no. People still didn’t.” — JOHN MULANEY“Netflix actually picked up this show by accident. They thought that it was a true-crime documentary because I look like a disappeared boy.” — JOHN MULANEYMulaney also referred to his much-scrutinized personal life with his wife, the actress Olivia Munn, and their two young children before moving on to the night’s guests.“Yes, I have two children now. One was controversial; one you all seem to be cool with, so thank you so much for that.” — JOHN MULANEYThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bad Education Edition)“Trump just announced he’s firing 50 percent of the Department of Education. Even worse, Trump said, ‘Don’t worry, the other 60 percent will still have jobs.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump, really, he’s Thanos-ed the Department of Education.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The new secretary of education is Linda McMahon, who’s married to Vince McMahon of the W.W.E. Could you imagine getting fired by the wife of the disgraced wrestling meathead? Don’t let the folding chair hit you on the way out.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Slams Trump’s Skills of Shill for Tesla

    “But why should he, when he did a big commercial for them today, absolutely free?” Kimmel said after the president brought some of Elon Musk’s cars to the White House.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.No Such Thing as Bad Publicity?Tesla’s stock has been plunging, so much so that Jimmy Kimmel thinks Elon Musk “may have to fire himself.” But Musk got a boost from President Trump, who promised to buy a Tesla and had some brought to the White House on Tuesday.“The guy has spent the entire campaign screaming about how awful electric cars are, is now buying an electric car. Of course, there’s no chance he will actually pay for this electric car. But why should he, when he did a big commercial for them today, absolutely free?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I remember the time he saved Party City by buying a kazoo — it was heroic.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I would imagine they probably don’t even have a place to charge it at the White — maybe he’ll make little Marco run on a hamster wheel.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Watching Donald Trump check out a Tesla — it was like watching a monkey with an iPad.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He had them line up five Teslas on the White House driveway so Trump and Elon could shoot a car commercial on government property.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s finally turned into the used-car salesman we all knew he was all along.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Just the idea that we all now have to dig deep to help the richest man in the world who’s down to his last $324 billion sell cars is preposterous.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sorry Not Sorry Edition)“There’s a silver lining on the implosion of the world economy — it’s bad for Elon Musk, too.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Right now the economy is so bad, Elon Musk is thinking about laying off Donald Trump.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yesterday alone, Musk lost more than $16 billion. Wow! Wow! To put that in perspective, that’s more than some people make in a year.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Tesla stock has plummeted 50 percent since December, and there’s a good reason for that. It’s a phenomenon economists call ‘Everybody [expletive] hates that guy.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSting and Shaggy pulled from their most popular lyrics to sing about the economy on Tuesday’s “The Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “White Lotus” star Parker Posey will chat with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutIn “Long Bright River,” Amanda Seyfried plays a Philadelphia police officer who investigates the murders of vulnerable young women.David Holloway/PeacockAmanda Seyfried played against type with her new role as a Philadelphia beat cop in a new Peacock series, “Long Bright River.” More