A Kremlin spokesman pointed the finger back at the U.S. for World War II bombings, and Trevor Noah joked, “Keep up with the times, yo!”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
New War, Who Dis?
President Biden referred this week to Vladimir Putin, Russia’s leader, as a “war criminal,” and a Kremlin spokesman responded by saying the statement was unfair and hypocritical, citing the United States’ bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II.
Trevor Noah criticized Russia for coming “with that old [expletive].”
“Seriously, Russia, you’re gonna bring up something America did in the ’40s?” Noah said. “America has committed plenty of war crimes since then. Keep up with the times, yo!”
“Russia said that was unforgivable, so today Biden called him a ‘murderous dictator’ and a ‘pure thug.’ Tomorrow he’s going to call him a ‘stupidhead’ and it might get really crazy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Just because America committed war crimes doesn’t mean you have to, as well, Vladimir Putin, OK? I mean, what if all your friends jumped off a bridge — would you do it, too? No, seriously, would you? I’m just brainstorming ways to end this whole thing. I just want to know what you would do, you know?” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (St. Patrick’s Day Edition)
“It is St. Green Vomit Day, also known as St. Patrick’s Day, also known as the day on which the world’s reddest white people wear green.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Yeah, it’s a great day to be Irish and a bad day to be an Uber driver.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yep, the parade here is the only event where Times Square Elmo feels like the chaperone.” — JIMMY FALLON
“You can tell people were ready to let loose. On my way in, I heard a guy on the street ask where the bathrooms are, and another guy said, ‘It’s wherever you want it to be.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“It was fun seeing everyone decked out in their St. Paddy’s Day clothes. Some people wore shirts that said, ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish. While the rest opted for the newer ‘Kiss me, rapid’s negative.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“It’s funny, everything we know about St. Patrick’s Day is not true. St. Patrick was born in England, not Ireland. There are no snakes in Ireland to drive out. And that creep wearing the ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish’ T-shirt? Probably not Irish.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“In fact, the world’s first recorded St. Patrick’s Day parade took place in what is now St. Augustine, Florida, in 1601. At this parade, they drank green beer and ate green beef. They didn’t dye the beef — everything was just very moldy back then.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
On Thursday’s “Tonight Show,” Billy Crystal joined Jimmy Fallon in impersonating celebrities in conversation through mouth cutouts on magazine covers.
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Sandra Bullock, Channing Tatum and Daniel Radcliffe, stars of “The Lost City,” discussed their new film and friendships, as well as some of their most iconic roles to date.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
