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    Late Night Mocks Trump for His McDonald’s Photo Op

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    The ex-president’s stint at the drive-through window was “blue-collar drag,” said Stephen Colbert. “But with more makeup.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Blue-Collar Drag’Former President Donald Trump appeared behind a McDonald’s counter on Sunday, trolling Vice President Kamala Harris (he claims, with no evidence, that she’s lying about having worked at one in the ’80s). “No surprise, the man who’s never had an actual job in his life did not actually work at McDonald’s,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. Citing news reports, he said the Trump appearance “was a half-hour photo op at a closed McDonald’s, and the people he served were preselected supporters.”“He’s not the common man. This is all just blue-collar drag. But with more makeup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Well, McDonald’s screwed up my order again!” — SETH MEYERS“That’s his whole campaign right now: ‘Ave Maria’ dance party, ‘I’m going to deport everybody,’ football tailgate, blame the Jews if I lose, McDonald’s drive-through.” — JON STEWART“Yeah, he had a great time at McDonald’s, ’cause for 20 minutes, Trump actually ran a successful business.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump told reporters, ‘I love McDonald’s. I love jobs. I like to see good jobs.’ Wow, I just realized, if you replace ‘I’ with ‘me,’ he has the same vocabulary as Cookie Monster: ‘Me love McDonald’s. Me love jobs.’” — SETH MEYERS“I love when he said ‘I’ve always wanted to work at McDonald’s’ with a straight face and expects us to believe it. Oh, do you? Well, no one’s stopping you, bro. I noticed you didn’t pick up an application on your way out. Maybe you can get a job jumping out of the ball pit and scaring away kids who have been there for too long.” — SETH MEYERS“Give him the job. I implore you. I don’t care if his references don’t shake out. Save democracy, give him the job.” — JON STEWARTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eggplant Emoji Edition)“While speaking over the weekend at a campaign rally in Pennsylvania, former President Trump discussed golf legend Arnold Palmer and said he was ‘all man.’ Well, technically, he was half man, half iced tea.” — SETH MEYERS“But for Trump, this was actually one of his milder genital rants. This was kind of his Kidz Bop genitals rant: classy, body-positive, he was complimenting somebody else. I don’t know why we have to parse everything that this guy says so sternly.” — JON STEWART“I think one of his staffers must have said, ‘We need to focus on the polls,’ and Trump was, like, ‘Oh, I’ll focus on the pole.’” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Debunks the Government-Hurricane-Control Theory

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      “The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé,” Kimmel said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Eye of the StormMeteorologists in Florida and North Carolina have been facing death threats and angry messages from viewers who think they are complicit in a Democratic-led plot to direct hurricanes toward Republican voting districts.Jimmy Kimmel was flabbergasted on Thursday by this “bonkers idea.” He said, “Donald Trump has pushed us to the point where we can’t even agree on the weather. What a stupid time to be alive.”“And of course, before the storm even hit, the Trumpers were blaming the White House for all this, which is interesting because two weeks ago, 11 House Republicans from Florida voted against keeping the government and FEMA fully funded. Then, when Hurricane Helene came to visit, they all signed a letter asking President Biden for federal funding. This is how it goes now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Has anyone thought about unplugging America and plugging it back in again? ’Cause it could use a reboot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Donald Trump should be forced to live on an island with all these people. Listen, dummies, the government can’t control the weather. The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (25 Days Until the Election Edition)“You guys, Election Day is only 25 days away. Just think, in 25 days, Trump will either be saying he won or saying he didn’t lose.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, 25 days. Trump just got an election Advent calendar that gives him a new conspiracy theory every day: [imitating Trump] ‘Ooh, immigrants are stealing our Hulu passwords. They’re watching “Murders in the Building” for free.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The polls say it is a tossup. It might ultimately come down to which candidate can deliver a new R.V. to Clarence Thomas first.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingEric Idle of Monty Python discussed his new book, “The Spamalot Diaries,” with Jordan Klepper on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutLaura Dern and Liam Hemsworth in “Lonely Planet.”Anne Marie Fox/NetflixLaura Dern and Liam Hemsworth have a May/December romance in “Lonely Planet,” from the writer-director Susannah Grant. More

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      Seth Meyers Is Starting to Wonder About Trump and Putin

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      A book says Donald Trump sent Covid testing equipment to the Russian leader. Meyers suspects he threw in “some snacks, a bath bomb and a CD.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Testing, TestingFormer President Donald Trump has denied a report in a new book that he sent Covid testing machines to Vladimir Putin for his personal use during the pandemic, but Seth Meyers wasn’t buying it on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”“How did Trump send them? Was it part of a care package with some snacks, a bath bomb and a CD that said ‘Mixtape for Vlad from Don: My heart is loyal only to you’?”— SETH MEYERS“People were quarantining, contact tracing, seeking medical care. I know you weren’t doing that since you were basically a Typhoid Gary who would hold superspreader events at the White House, and then when you yourself got Covid, took a joyride in an S.U.V. like you were an off-brand pope.” — SETH MEYERS, addressing Trump“Trump was telling Americans that Covid testing was overrated on the exact same day he was telling Vladimir Putin he was sending him his best Covid tests — his [expletive] Glengarry Covid tests.” — SETH MEYERS“To be fair, lots of people in Putin’s circle were suddenly dying: [imitating Putin] ‘Falling from balcony is very common Covid symptom.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Kamala’s Media Blitz Edition)“So with less than a month to go, both campaigns are going all out — starting with Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, who has been everywhere recently: news shows, daytime talk shows, satellite radio, podcasts, your kid’s piano recital — she applauded, but seriously, ‘Chopsticks’? I mean, you can do better, Arlo.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Meanwhile, today, Trump complained that CBS edited Kamala Harris’s interview on ‘60 Minutes’ to make her look better. Trump said, ‘It was clearly edited. She didn’t say one thing about people eating pets in Ohio. Not one. Didn’t even mention it.’” — JIMMY FALLON“In a new interview with radio host Howard Stern, Vice President Kamala Harris said that she doesn’t really take naps, setting up a clear contrast with President Biden, who took one mid-debate.” — SETH MEYERS“During the same interview with Howard Stern, Vice President Kamala Harris said that she usually eats a bowl of Raisin Bran or Special K for breakfast, whereas her opponent, as we all know, is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingQuinta Brunson, the “Abbott Elementary” creator and star, dished on her series’ crossover episode with “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJordan Peele will promote his revival of the horror-themed hidden-camera reality series “Scare Tactics” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This Out“Unknown American” is a portrait from the 1940s to 1950s.The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Twentieth-Century Photography FundThe Met Gala’s 2025 theme, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” is the museum’s first fashion exhibition to focus solely on the work of designers of color. More

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      Seth Meyers: Trump Rallies Are Like an Escape Room

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      “Generally speaking, if you’re at an event and the host of that event keeps insisting no one is going to leave, it is time to start worrying,” Meyers said on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Escaping TrumpDonald Trump, whose campaign speeches have been getting longer, says it isn’t true that people have been leaving his rallies early, despite video evidence to the contrary.Seth Meyers spent a fair amount of time dissecting those denials on Monday’s “Late Night.” He said it was all part of the former president’s elaborate plan to promote his “brand-new Trump escape room.”“[imitating Trump] Also, even if they tried to leave, they can’t because we’ve replaced the regular stairs with M.C. Escher stairs.” — SETH MEYERS“Generally speaking, if you’re at an event and the host of that event keeps insisting no one is going to leave, it is time to start worrying.” — SETH MEYERS“His rallies have almost doubled in length; that’s Trump’s gravest sin as an entertainer. He doesn’t know when to get off the stage. You’re supposed to leave them wanting more. Trump leaves them wanting out.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Dark MAGA Edition)“This weekend, former President Trump held a rally in Pennsylvania, and Elon Musk joined him onstage. It was exciting for all the Trump supporters because, for the first time, they got to see an actual billionaire.” — JIMMY FALLON“During the rally, Trump praised Elon Musk for saving free speech with X, and Elon praised Trump for making Truth Social so bad that people still use X.” — JIMMY FALLON“He’s acting like a guy who won a radio contest: ‘I can’t believe I get to bid on the washer-dryer!’” — JON STEWART, on Musk jumping up and down at the rally“Dude’s jumping like he’s trying to reach the rope ladder on a rescue helicopter: ‘This rally sucks, get me out of here!’” — SETH MEYERS“That is the reason you don’t give kids Mountain Dew.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Elon Musk spoke at former President Trump’s rally in Pennsylvania, wore a black MAGA hat and said, ‘As you can see, I’m not just MAGA, I’m dark MAGA.’ And when I heard that, I cringed so hard I momentarily had abs.” — SETH MEYERS“This guy thinks he’s dark? Dude, you’re the whitest person ever born. You’re the same color they paint apartments after someone moves out.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingGov. Tim Walz, Kamala Harris’s running mate, discussed his past life as a social studies teacher and lunchroom supervisor on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightStephen Colbert will interview Harris on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutChappell Roan has turned songs like “Casual” and “Red Wine Supernova” into cheeky anthems. Jason Kempin/Getty ImagesThe pop star Chappell Roan is navigating stardom with a critical eye on fame. More

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      Late Night Heaps Scorn on Trump’s Latest Defense

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      Jimmy Kimmel said Donald Trump was “partially right” in denying interference in the 2020 election: “He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election.’Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Rignoramus’A newly unsealed court filing in the special counsel’s case against former President Donald Trump detailed attempts at election interference in 2020. Trump refuted those claims, saying that it wasn’t he who rigged the election, “they did.”“He’s actually right about some of that; he didn’t rig the election. He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election. He’s a rignoramus, is what he is.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What a baby. That’s just as bad as Jeffrey Dahmer’s famous defense, ‘No, you ate my neighbor!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I know this is going to sound controversial, but I’m just going to come out and say it: I think Trump might have done something wrong.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (October Surprise Edition)“A federal judge yesterday unsealed a 165-page motion detailing evidence against former President Trump in his election interference case. OK, well, there’s only one way he’s reading 165 pages, and it’s at the Cheesecake Factory.” — SETH MEYERS“According to the filing, Trump told the staff that he was going to declare victory regardless of the results. Vladimir Putin heard and was like, ‘[imitating Putin] My little man is growing up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The news of Trump’s alleged crimes are being called an ‘October surprise,’ while most Americans were like, ‘Um, we’re not that surprised.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingDemi Lovato and Jimmy Fallon shrieked their way through a new haunted house experience, “Tonightmares.”Also, Check This OutSaoirse Ronan in “The Outrun.”Martin Scott Powell/Sony Pictures ClassicsSaoirse Ronan delivers another stunning performance as an alcoholic desperately clinging to sobriety. More

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      Late Night Goes Live After a ‘Dull’ Vice-Presidential Debate

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      Stephen Colbert was unenthused by Tuesday’s discourse between Tim Walz and JD Vance.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Two ‘Different Flavors of Dull’“The Late Show” went live Tuesday night after the vice-presidential debate.Stephen Colbert found the debate boring, saying that JD Vance and Tim Walz “were both different flavors of dull.”“JD Vance looked like a business lemur on beta-blockers, and Tim Walz was, you know, the old likable coach but appeared to be way overcaffeinated. I think the governor done overdid doing the Dew.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It was the ultimate showdown tonight between two very different Midwestern vibes. Hillbilly vs. Minnesota nice; attack dog vs. folk hero; America’s dad vs. America’s ‘Dad, could you come pick me up? JD Vance just walked in here.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“These two men were both a heartbeat away from being interesting this evening.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In the end, it was 90 minutes of constant talk that made one thing clear: Tonight was like having Thanksgiving with your most nervous uncle and your smuggest nephew. It was unpleasant, awkward and, thankfully, you only have to do it once every four years.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Almost Famous Edition)“Yep, people you’ve barely heard of on a national stage. Usually we call that ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” — JIMMY FALLON“One of these men will lose, and we’ll never hear from him again, and the other one will become V.P. and we’ll never hear from him again.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“The only other V.P. debate anyone remembers is the time that fly got stuck on Mike Pence’s head. The bar is low.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“They showed each other a lot of respect. It was — it was very boring. I’ll be honest: I like these better with Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I don’t know that anyone’s vote was changed tonight. Watching a vice-presidential debate — it’s like taking your kids apple picking: About halfway through, you’re like, ‘OK, you know what? This sounded like it was going to be fun, but what’s the point?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I read that ahead of the debate, Tim Walz has been nervous that he was going to let Kamala Harris down. Yeah, Harris was like, ‘Don’t worry — if Joe Biden can be replaced, so can you.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Hold Your Breath” star Sarah Paulson faced off against Jimmy Fallon in a new game called “Mute!” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightBen Platt and Brandy Clark will perform their new song “Treehouse” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutRobert Downey Jr. goes dark in “McNeal,” a thought experiment about art and A.I., at the Vivian Beaumont Theater in Manhattan.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesRobert Downey Jr. made his Broadway debut in Ayad Akhtar’s new play, “McNeal.” More

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      Late Night Slams Trump’s Plan to Adapt ‘The Purge’

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      “Good news: He stopped talking about Hannibal Lecter,” Jimmy Fallon said. “Bad news: He suggested we do ‘The Purge’ instead.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Taking a Page from ‘The Purge’ PlaybookDuring a rally in Pennsylvania on Sunday, former President Donald Trump suggested that Americans have “one really violent day” to curtail crime.Late-night hosts likened Mr. Trump’s plans to the popular horror movie franchise, “The Purge.”“Yeah, Trump wants ‘The Purge,’ while his staff wishes he would re-enact ‘A Quiet Place,’” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday.“Good news: He stopped talking about Hannibal Lecter. Bad news: He suggested we do ‘The Purge’ instead.” — JIMMY FALLON“Did he just suggest ‘The Purge’ for stealing from CVS? [imitating Trump] ‘If that doesn’t work, I have other ideas, OK? We put all the shoplifters on a bus with Keanu Reeves. If it goes slower than 50 miles an hour, blammo!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He suggested that the way to end crime would be to have one really violent day, one rough hour that would solve everything, like ‘The Purge’ and so much more. If anyone in your life had, like, a weekend like this, you’d be concerned. Like if your dad had a series of similar outbursts, you’d call your siblings to figure out what to do.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (V.P. Debate Prep Edition)“Tomorrow night in New York, the first and only debate between Tim Walz and JD Vance, this will be the first vice-presidential debate since 2008 in which the candidates will stand instead of sit. I guess they were worried JD Vance might get distracted by a sexy office chair.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Honestly, I’m not even going to watch it, and I’m going to tell you why — because I already know who I’m voting for, vice-president-wise.” — JON STEWART“Actually, today Trump asked Vance if he needed any debate advice, and Vance was like, ‘Absolutely. Do you have Kamala’s number?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Voters were more likely to describe Walz as honest, trustworthy and caring, where they were more likely to describe Vance as nervous, unsettling and damp. But I disagree. You know, when I see JD Vance, I see a man who is grounded, who is rational and so humanlike, you could barely tell he isn’t one.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe best-selling author Ta-Nehisi Coates discussed his new book, “The Message,” with Jon Stewart on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe musician-turned-movie star Lady Gaga will promote “Joker: Folie à Deux” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutBillie Eilish onstage at the Videotron Center on Sunday night. Her new tour supports her most recent album, “Hit Me Hard and Soft.”Julia Spicer for The New York TimesA master class in intimacy and crowd engagement, Billie Eilish’s new Hit Me Hard and Soft tour debuted in Canada on Sunday. More

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      Desi Lydic: Donald Trump ‘Really Knows How to Flatter a Lady’

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      The “Daily Show” host said the former president had been so unpopular with women that he was now trying to turn on “the old Trump charm.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Old Trump Charm’Former President Donald Trump continued to relay his plans to “protect” women at a rally in Pennsylvania on Monday, saying that women are “poorer” and “more stressed and depressed” than they were four years ago.On Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Desi Lydic said that Trump had been so unpopular with women that he now had to turn on “the old Trump charm.”“Maybe it’s because of his legally adjudicated record of sexual assault; maybe he forgot their birthdays — it’s hard to say.” — DESI LYDIC“Oh, that is the perfect way to appeal to any woman. There’s no better way to start a first date than saying: ‘Diane, I am your protector. I want to be your protector. You will no longer be abandoned, lonely or scared. I will be with you 24 hours a day, seven days a week, looking at you. I’ll never let you out of my sight. Oh, you need to go to the bathroom? OK. I’ll wait. Waitress? I want to protect you.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Uh, I’m actually meeting someone here. I have a boyfriend. Thank you so much, though.” — DESI LYDIC“I love how he’s acknowledging that we’re stressed out, as though he’s not the one stressing us out. This is like Boeing being like, ‘Weird how people seem so freaked out about air travel these days.’ “ — DESI LYDIC“You really know how to flatter a lady. Please tell me more about the bags under my eyes.” — DESI LYDIC“Although, it’s not true that all women are poorer. E. Jean Carroll seems to be doing pretty well.” — DESI LYDIC“But Trump is a master marketer. That’s how you sell things to women: You convince them they have a problem, and then you say, ‘Here, buy these vagina gummies.’ And yes, in this analogy, Trump is the vagina gummy.” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden’s Last Stand Edition)“Earlier today, President Biden attended the General Assembly and delivered his final U.N. address. Biden called on nations to band together amid world conflicts and growing concerns over China’s influence. Then he added, ‘Or do whatever you want. What the hell do I care? I don’t care anymore.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He warned his fellow leaders to ‘never forget some things are more important than staying in power,’ which got a huge laugh from the Russian delegation.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden’s address was a big deal. It’s the most important speech he’s delivered in front of a 1990s kitchen backsplash.” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, New York City officials actually said drivers should expect the slowest traffic of the year. Yeah, you know traffic is slow when even Biden is like, ‘You know, I’m just going to get out and walk.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Tickled by Trump’s Vow to Make Women Great Again

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      “I‘m not sure if he’s running for president or marketing a new brand of tampon,” Colbert said on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Make Women Great AgainFormer President Donald Trump made several comments about women over the weekend, vowing that under his presidency, he would “protect women at a level never seen before,” saying they would be “healthy, hopeful, safe and secure.”“I‘m not sure if he’s running for president or marketing a new brand of tampon,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday.“[imitating Trump] Women will be safe, secure — they’ll be safe, secure and unscented. I will install all my judges with a comfort glide applicator. Vote for me, or there will be heavy days. I’m talking about, your friends will be riding bikes and laughing in the pool, and you’re going to be sitting by yourself, dealing with that cup of blue juice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During a rally on Saturday in North Carolina, former President Trump spoke about his agenda for women and said, ‘Let’s talk about our great women, all right? Because women have gone through a lot.’ And I assume he’s speaking from experience.” — SETH MEYERS“In a post over the weekend on Truth Social, former President Trump said that if he is elected, ‘Women will be happy, healthy, confident and free.’ So now JD Vance is undecided.” — SETH MEYERS“‘Women are poorer than they were four years ago, are less healthy than they were four years ago, are less safe on the streets than they were four years ago, are more depressed and unhappy than they were four years ago, and are less optimistic and confident in the future than they were four years ago! I will fix all of that, and fast, and at long last this national nightmare will be over.’ This reads like a suicide pact.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] Their lives will be happy, beautiful, and great again — and if you don’t believe it, ask my wife Melania, who every night prays I drive my golf cart into a lagoon.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Oprah Treatment Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More