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    It’s Bring a Kid to Work Day on ‘The Tonight Show’

    Elon Musk took his son to the Oval Office, so Jimmy Fallon saw no reason not to walk onstage with a child, too.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Don’t Touch My Chicken NuggetsOn Tuesday, Elon Musk brought his 4-year-old son to the Oval Office for an appearance with President Trump. So on Wednesday, Jimmy Fallon walked onto the “Tonight Show” set with a little boy on his shoulders.“Daddy has to do a monologue,” Fallon said as he let the boy down.“Elon Musk and President Trump held a press conference in the Oval Office, and they were joined by Elon’s 4-year-old son. Don Jr. was, like, ‘Wait a minute, my dad said there’s no such thing as Take Your Son to Work Day.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was looking at him like, ‘[imitating Trump] Don’t you dare touch my dinosaur chicken nuggets.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Eventually they bonded, though. While Elon was talking, they both watched an episode of ‘Bluey’ on an iPad.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, that poor kid. His dad literally runs Space X, and Elon took him to a meeting on federal spending.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (From Russia With Love Edition)“President Trump spoke today with Russian president Vladimir Putin on the phone. And, bad news, you guys, we gotta change the name of the gulf again.” — SETH MEYERS“In a post on Truth Social today, President Trump said that he spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin and discussed Ukraine, the Middle East, energy, artificial intelligence, the power of the dollar, Moo Deng, Sydney Sweeney, the return of the Shamrock Shake and this season of ‘The Traitors.’ ‘[imitating Trump] We got off track towards the end of the call. We got a little off track.’” — SETH MEYERS“President Trump said that he had a nice phone call with Vladimir Putin. Putin was like, ‘[imitating Putin] I told you I wouldn’t forget Valentine’s Day.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The only awkward part of the call was when Putin said, ‘Is the president there?’ and both Trump and Elon said, ‘Yes?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel’s sidekick Guillermo pitched his exciting new crypto venture on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightHarper Steele, the former “Saturday Night Live” writer and star (with Will Ferrell) of “Will & Harper,” will appear on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutAn undated photograph of Amy Tan, from her days in the literary-world supergroup the Rock Bottom Remainders.via Amy Tan/Bancroft Library at the University of CaliforniaThe Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley, has acquired the archives of Amy Tan, author of “The Joy Luck Club,” who’s changed her mind about having her papers destroyed posthumously. “My 22-year-old mind is thrilled: Accepted into Berkeley!” she said. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Pokes Fun at Trump’s Paper Straw Ban

    “Listen, the fact of the matter is Trump loves plastic,” Kimmel said. “Most of his wives are made of plastic.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Most Important Stuff’On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel noted that President Trump had been signing a flurry of executive orders, often on TV. “It’s like the Jerry Lewis telethon with this guy,” he said. One presidential edict canceled a government effort to replace plastic straws with paper ones. “All day, reporters in there — he’s taking questions, having meetings, he’s tackling all the most important stuff. He did the same thing yesterday, all day. He canceled the penny, he changed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, and he finally got tough on paper straws.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, the reason we switched to those admittedly terrible paper straws in the first place is because plastic straws wind up in the ocean, and they kill marine life, which I guess is another argument Trump, a well-known hater of sharks, doesn’t buy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That degree in marine biology is really coming in handy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Listen, the fact of the matter is Trump loves plastic. Most of his wives are made of plastic.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Remember when Trump said he would make the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday? When is that executive order coming down the pike? Let’s whip out that fat little presidential Sharpie and deliver on what might be the only good thing you ever do. Do it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brotherly Love Edition)“The Philadelphia Eagles are set to hold their Super Bowl victory parade this week on Valentine’s Day in what’s being called the ultimate test for Philadelphia boyfriends. ‘[Imitating Philadelphia Eagles fan:] Babe, what if I go for just an hour or so?’” — SETH MEYERS“It’s also Valentine’s Day, so while couples will be enjoying an edible arrangement, Eagles fans will be enjoying an arrangement of edibles.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, that’s right, the Eagles’ parade is this Friday. It’s great for fans ’cause there’s no work the next day, but bad because they can’t see a judge till Monday.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJesse Eisenberg discussed his film “A Real Pain” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJon Hamm will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutSandra Bezic, Carolyn Taylor and Kurt Browning hit the ice in “I Have Nothing.”PeacockThe Canadian comedian Carolyn Tyler tries to fulfill a lifelong dream by choreographing a figure skating routine in “I Have Nothing,” a new six-part series on Peacock. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Has Doubts About Trump’s Religious Convictions

    According to Kimmel, “MAGA Teresa” only attended the National Prayer Breakfast “because he doesn’t like it when people worship anyone other than him.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Put a Shirt On’President Trump attended the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington on Thursday. Jimmy Kimmel, who called him “MAGA Teresa,” said he only showed up “because he doesn’t like it when people worship anyone other than him.”“He covered a lot of subjects. He bragged about deporting immigrants, his war on diversity, fighting ‘transgenders’ — all the sacred teachings of Jesus.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump spoke today at the National Prayer Breakfast, in case you needed more proof that those don’t work.” — SETH MEYERS“While speaking today at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said, ‘None of us knows exactly when our time on Earth will be over.’ I don’t know, I’m thinking whenever R.F.K. Jr. gets confirmed.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump also told the audience we need to bring religion back, and who better to bring it back than the guy who sells ‘God Bless the U.S.A.’ bibles for $59.99.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of all the unbelievable things about Donald Trump, religious people believing he is also a religious person might be the toughest one to understand.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Honestly, if Trump met Jesus, he’d call him a loser, he’d tell him to get a haircut and put a shirt on.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Super Bowl LIX Edition)“Super Bowl Sunday, also known as ‘Get Drunk in a Friend of a Friend’s Weird Living Room Day,’ is imminent. Hope everyone has their friendship bracelets picked out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, between the game and the commercials, it’s going to be four straight hours of Patrick Mahomes on TV.” — JIMMY FALLON“Donald Trump will be there at the game. He said — this is fun — he said he’s going to let Elon pick the winner this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He will make history as the first sitting president to go to the Super Bowl. I think the reason Trump’s going to the Super Bowl, he can’t stand to have even one day where he’s on TV less than Taylor Swift.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Taylor Swift will also be in attendance to support her boyfriend, the Chiefs’ superstar tight end, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I saw that this year’s Super Bowl will be watched in 180 countries. Yeah, well, 179 if we take over Canada by Saturday.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Oscar-winning actor Ke Huy Quan discussed his new role in the film “Love Hurts” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIn a new installment of the franchise, Smurfette and the other Smurfs leave their village for an adventure in the live-action world.Paramount PicturesA trailer for the upcoming “Smurfs” movie features Rihanna, who’ll be the voice of Smurfette. More

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    Late Night Weighs In on the ‘World’s Dumbest Trade War’

    Jimmy Kimmel thinks President Trump decided not to impose tariffs on Mexico because he saw the guacamole bill for his Super Bowl party.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Tariff ManPresident Trump announced new tariffs on Canada and Mexico over the weekend but agreed to pause them for 30 days on Monday.Jimmy Kimmel called Trump’s tariffs “fake,” saying he was “pretending to issue tariffs so that Canada and Mexico can pretend to bend over for him, and then it’ll look like he’s the big hero.”“He’s like a toddler negotiating nap time with his parents.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“People are wondering why Trump would start a war with our closest allies, and he was like, ‘I didn’t say anything about Russia and North Korea.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but the last people you want to upset are your upstairs and downstairs neighbors.” — JIMMY FALLON“So now, we have a one-month cease-fire in what some liberal rag called The Wall Street Journal described as ‘the dumbest trade war in history.’ To which the Dallas Mavericks said, ‘Hold my Luka Dončić.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But you do have to hand it to him. Starting the ‘world’s dumbest trade war’ is an accomplishment to add to a very long list: first of all, world’s dumbest trade war, world’s dumbest Covid response, world’s dumbest climate policy, world’s dumbest hurricane map, world’s dumbest election interference, world’s dumbest wildfire response, world’s dumbest crowd size comparison, world’s dumbest insurrection, and world’s dumbest Eric. He’s like the Michael Phelps of the world’s dumbest stuff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“No American wakes up saying, ‘Damn Canada. We should really go after Canada.’ I mean, except for Kendrick Lamar. That dude has it out for Canadian rap.” — SETH MEYERS“I just hope cooler heads prevail and the countries involved in this dumb trade war can all get back to selling each other crap as soon as possible.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tequila Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Time Magazine’s Person of the Year Doesn’t Surprise Late Night

    “Trump is the first man in history to be Time’s person of the year and McDonald’s employee of the month,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘America’s Main Character’Time magazine has named President-elect Donald Trump as its person of the year for 2024.“Trump is the first man in history to be Time’s person of the year and McDonald’s employee of the month,” Jimmy Fallon said. “History is being made!”“Trump said the honor feels just as exciting as the birth of his child, except he was present for the award.” — JIMMY FALLON“So it’s the second time he’s had the honor, with the first coming after his presidential win in 2016. That was also the same week Hillary Clinton canceled her subscription and smashed her server with a hammer.” — DANA PERINO, guest host of “Gutfeld!”“The editorial board mentioned Trump’s historic comeback, his impact on global politics and how we increased his votes from Blacks, Latinos and people named Biden.” — DANA PERINO“The difference: In 2016, the cover called him ‘President of the divided states of America.’ This year, it’s simply his name, even though there was plenty of room for ‘Cry harder, losers.’” — DANA PERINO“Now, obviously, Donald Trump is the person of the year. At this point, he’s basically America’s main character.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Sadly, there’s no one left to roll it up and spank him with it. Maybe Elon will do it for him, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“According to the Time website, the person of the year is bestowed upon ‘a person, group, or concept that had the biggest impact for good or for ill.’ Which, that’s him, all right. It was a no-brainer in every sense of the word.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“By the way, just to put Trump’s Time cover in context, it’s not exactly a mark of greatness. The president who currently holds the record for the most Time magazine covers, it isn’t a universally beloved one, like F.D.R., J.F.K. or George Washington. Not because Time wasn’t around in the 1700s, but because Washington was more of a People magazine time of guy.” — SETH MEYERS“But I guess once again, Time has not been kind to Joe Biden.” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Punchiest Punchlines (Clemency For Christmas Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Stephen Colbert Is Surprised by Luigi Mangione’s ‘Minifesto’

    “He could’ve just made it a Yelp review: ‘American health care sucks. One star,’” Colbert said of the content of a notebook found with the crime suspect.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Rest Is Still UnwrittenLaw enforcement officials said they recovered a notebook from Luigi Mangione after he was arrested on Monday at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pa., in connection with the killing of the chief executive of United Healthcare, Brian Thompson. Officers said the notebook included detailed plans for the shooting last week.On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert expressed surprise over the brevity of the note’s 262 words. “That’s not a manifesto — that’s a ‘minifesto,’” Colbert said.“He could’ve just made it a Yelp review: ‘American health care sucks. One star.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The document basically rails against the health care industry and ends with, ‘I do apologize for any strife or traumas, but it had to be done.’ Well, at least he apologized. Reminds me of what Manson said after his murders: ‘Whoops, my bad!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s so crazy to think that Donald Trump working the French fry machine was only the second-weirdest thing to happen at a McDonald’s in Pennsylvania this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Police in Altoona report that they’ve been getting threats from Mangione’s fans, demanding he be released immediately. You know, I’ve been on TV just about nonstop for 29 years. This guy’s been in the news since Monday. He has fans threatening the police? Why do I feel like if I shot somebody, even my mother would be like, ‘Lock him up, teach him a lesson! It’s the only way he’s going to learn!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“OK, ‘I don’t really know what I’m talking about’ is a surprising thing to put in a manifesto. This is the first murder manifesto I’ve read that could have ended with ‘But no worries if not!’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“You never see the Taliban like, ‘Death to America, although we’re not experts, so, grain of salt.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Mangione has now been charged with second-degree murder, but he’s not pleading guilty, and he’s fighting attempts to extradite him to New York. Well, that makes sense — no one wants to be extradited to New York during the holidays. You’ve got to wait in a two-hour line just to be cavity searched at the M&M store.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Two More Weeks Until Christmas Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Late Night Chides Trump for Using Dr. Biden Photo to Hawk Cologne

    The president-elect used a photo of Jill Biden smiling at him to promote his fragrances. Jimmy Kimmel thinks that’s because Melania has never smiled at him on camera.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Smell of ExcessAfter the first lady, Jill Biden, was photographed smiling at Donald Trump during the Notre-Dame Cathedral’s reopening ceremony on Saturday, the president-elect used the image to advertise his new fragrances on social media. (“A fragrance your enemies can’t resist!”)“He had to use that picture because he doesn’t have a picture of his own wife smiling at him,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.“Even after all these years, Trump still can’t tell when a woman is faking it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a rare moment of conciliation, one that would have given this country hope had it not immediately been undermined by the returning president releasing an actual cologne ad belittling and sexualizing said moment.” — JON STEWART“You won! You don’t have to push merch anymore. I find it hard to believe I’m saying this, but it’s beneath you.” — JON STEWART“Although, if you do zoom in on Jill Biden, you see she may just be holding her breath there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In response, Dr. Biden used the photo to sell her new line of pepper spray.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s perfect if you want to smell like a Big Mac that’s been sitting in a tanning bed and then thrown into the back of a Cybertruck.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Big Score Edition)“The New York Mets last night signed outfielder Juan Soto to a $765 million deal, stealing him from their hated crosstown rivals, the Yankees. And as a Mets fan, I have to say I am very excited to see how terribly this will inevitably go for us.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The New York Mets have reportedly signed former Yankees star Juan Soto to a 15-year, $765 million contract. And if you’re wondering how they can afford that, Mr. Met started an OnlyFans.” — SETH MEYERS“$765 million — not really the announcement you want to make to friends and family right before Christmas.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert and Billy Crystal shared their favorite lines from “When Harry Met Sally” on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe singer-songwriters Julien Baker and Torres will make their television debut as a country music duo on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutTaylor Swift at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey in May 2023. Jutharat Pinyodoonyachet for The New York TimesTaylor Swift’s “Eras” tour brought in $2 billion in gross ticket sales, double that of any other concert tour in history. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Doubts Trump’s Grasp of Economics

    Kimmel called the president-elect’s plan to hit Mexico, Canada and China with sweeping tariffs “the dumbest thing he’s come up with since Don Jr.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Just Tariff-icPresident-elect Donald J. Trump said he would impose sweeping tariffs on all goods from Canada, Mexico and China on his first day in office.As Jimmy Kimmel noted, economists say that would lead to higher prices. “Almost everyone who knows anything about economics believes these tariffs to be a terrible idea,” Kimmel said.“Some say this is the dumbest thing he’s come up with since Don Jr.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Whoever would have guessed that the mail-order steak salesman who declared bankruptcy six times would be so bad with money?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you want to purchase a tie from the Donald J. Trump collection, you’d better get it immediately, or it’s going to cost an extra 10 percent.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Apparently, Trump’s tariffs on Mexico will cause the price of Modelo and Corona beer to go up. Every MAGA supporter heard and was like, ‘Well, guess it’s time to forgive Bud Light.’” — JIMMY FALLON“So by next year, if you want extra guacamole, it’ll be cheaper to go get it.” — SETH MEYERS“And poor Canada is like, ‘What did we do? I mean, be honest: Is this because of Drake?’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Thanksgiving Edition)“Over the next 48 hours, millions of Americans will travel back to their family homes to be reminded once again of why they left in the first place.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I read that the most popular time to eat Thanksgiving dinner is between 2 and 3 p.m. It’s strange. It’s like for one day we all become President Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON“Serving dinner at 2 p.m. is a polite way of telling your guests, ‘We’d love to get you out of here as soon as possible.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Luckily, there’s no turkey shortage this year, though. Yeah. I remember the year Biden had to walk up to the turkeys he’d just pardoned and said, ‘Fellas, I’ve got some bad news.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingGwen Stefani joined Jimmy Fallon and the Roots for a spirited rendition of her hit “Hollaback Girl,” played on classroom instruments.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJennifer Hudson will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutMattel’s version of Glinda from “Wicked.”MattelThe “Wicked” merchandising juggernaut includes Barbies, Crocs and hair dryers. More