Miriam Margolyes' 53 year romance – long-distance rule to tragic coming out story

Miriam Margolyes is one of the most witty and respected actors in the world of showbiz.

The 80-year-old Harry Potter star is famous for her role as Professor Sprout in the global fantasy film franchise, but she’s also been critically acclaimed for her work in other projects.

That’s because the Cambridge-educated actor won a BAFTA award for her role in Martin Scorsese’s The Age of Innocence (1993).

Despite enjoying plenty of success on the stage and screen with a variety of theatre, film and television roles, she’s preferred to keep her private life out of the public eye – tucking her relationship away from the limelight.

However, she’s far from shy and she’s had fans in stitches with her saucy X-rated confessions on BBC’s The Graham Norton Show, such as her steamy romp with a soldier.

One time, she even asked her fellow Harry Potter co-star Daniel Radcliffe about his foreskin on national television.

Miriam also has an autobiography coming out, called This Much Is True – which contains her hilarious and action-packed memoirs from over the years.

To celebrate the release of Miriam’s new book this week (16 September), the Star have dug into the star’s fascinating 53-year long relationship with her lovely partner, Heather.

Miriam’s tragic coming out story

Miriam recently admitted that she regretted coming out as a lesbian to her parents years ago, and that she feels like it caused her mother’s death.

Writing in her new memoir, This Much Is True, she recalled the romance that led to her finally coming out.

In an excerpt from the book, she wrote: “At school, I’d had crushes on girls and they were all-consuming, but I didn’t have a mature loving relationship until I was 27. Once I found her, I knew.”

After meeting Heather, Miriam went to visit her parents who lived in Oxford to tell them she was gay.

However, her mother took it badly and insisted she never had “relations” with a woman every again.

Miriam said: “She and my father insisted I come into the drawing room and swear on the Torah never to have relations with a woman again. I did as they asked, but I broke my promise.”

The star’s mother suffered a stroke few days after she came out, before having a more severe stroke a few months later which led to a decline in health – and she passed away in 1974.

Miriam wrote: “I always believed that my coming out in some way caused it,

“I had caused the person I loved most in the world a pain she could not bear. It was a horrendous time and I was very unhappy. I knew I couldn’t change what I was; I should not have told them.”

The star spoke about coming out to her parents as she appeared in front of Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby on ITV’s This Morning.

Appearing on the show to chat about her new memoir, Miriam confessed she felt “guilty” about coming out.

Discussing her mother on the show, Miriam said she “couldn’t handle it” and that it was “too much for her”.

“That’s why I say people shouldn’t come out to people who can’t handle it. It’s tough to keep it in because I want to share, and when I fell in love I wanted to tell everybody that I was in love.”

“And [me and partner Heather Sutherland] been together for 53 years!

Miriam’s relationship with Heather Sutherland

Miriam is in a civil partnership with her beau Heather Sutherland, and their pair have been going strong for over 50 years.

The smitten pair have been in a relationship since 1968, and divide their time between London, Australia and Tuscany in Italy.

Heather is a retired Australian professor of Indonesian studies, and she began teaching History at the University of Malaya in Kuala Lumpur in the 1970s.

When Miriam and Heather met each other in 1968, they didn’t leave each other for a week, and the Harry Potter actress found out that Heather was interested in her.

Heather called the person she was supposed to be staying with at the time, telling them she liked Margolyes, who overheard.

She wrote: “Next to getting into Cambridge, that was the best moment of my life”.

The pair have now been going strong for a whopping 53 years, but they prefer to keep details of their relationship private.

Speaking about her beau, Miriam said: “I was lucky enough to find someone who was prepared to love me, I’m not that loveable.

“I’m smelly and noisy and all that sort of thing. But she loves me and I want to be with her for the rest of my life, that’s all I want.”

The pair don’t have any children, but Miriam is rather delighted about that as she thinks they are a “nuisance”.

Speaking to the Mirror about whether she regrets not having kids, the actress revealed: “God no! I am delighted not to have any children,

“I think they are such a nuisance. I am fond of some of my friends’ children, but only once they grew up. In the early days when they were talking about them and showing me photos it was tedium beyond belief!”

Miriam’s ‘lonely’ life in lockdown

Despite being loved up for decades, the couple don’t actually live together as they prefer their own space.

Whilst Miriam spends a lot of time in the UK, Heather lives in Amsterdam, Holland.

In fact, Miriam revealed that the secret to their lasting relationship was not living together.

She explained to the Mirror: “I’ve been with the same woman for 52 years, I really love her and that’s a great anchor in my life. The secret is not living together.

“We did for a short time, but mostly we haven’t because she works in Holland.

“It’s worked for us, because we’re both involved in what we do and have no children. I never wanted kids. They’re a nuisance.”

However, back in April last year, Miriam opened up about how she was missing Heather during the Coronavirus lockdown as they were living in separate homes.

Speaking on This Morning, she admitted: “I would have loved that [being locked down with her].

“Actually I don’t know whether she would because she’s an introvert.

“So she likes to be quiet and get on with work. She’s writing a book about Indonesia.”

The star told the Loose Women panel that she was feeling “lonely”, “depressed” and “anxious” during the pandemic.

Chatting about living alone in lockdown, she said: “My friend Denise comes to help me and my friend Marina comes to help me, and I have a gardener, Marcos, and I can wave at him from the window.

“But actually, in my house, I don’t have anybody. It’s horrible,

“I’m lonely, and depressed and anxious and I don’t know what we’re going to do because we’re never going to get out of this.”

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Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk