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    Late Night Is Taken Aback by Trump’s Potty Mouth

    Seth Meyers said that even with “zero standards of expectations for Trump,” he was shocked to see the president use profanity on the White House lawn.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.F-Bombs AwayPresident Trump dropped the F-bomb on live television on Tuesday, while talking to reporters in front of the White House about Israel and Iran violating their previously announced cease-fire. “We basically have two countries that have been fighting so long and so hard that they don’t know what the [expletive] they’re doing,” he said.Seth Meyers said that even though he has “zero standards of expectations for Trump, it’s still surprising to see the president drop an F-bomb on the White House grounds.”“Wow, based on that language and that level of analysis, I’m surprised that they didn’t give him the local news chyron.” — SETH MEYERS“Remember when Biden whispered it to Obama and everyone on the right lost their [expletive] minds?” — SETH MEYERS“Nothing says ‘Everyone remain calm’ like dropping an F-bomb on live TV.” — JIMMY FALLON“Meanwhile, C-SPAN was like, ‘It’s OK. Nobody’s watching anyway.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Fake News Edition)“Last night, President Trump announced that Israel and Iran agreed to a total cease-fire and declared that the war has ended. Yeah. And for about 59 minutes, he was right.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Trump announced yesterday in a post on Truth Social that Israel and Iran have agreed to a cease-fire and added, ‘CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE!’ Congratulations to everyone? Are you brokering a cease-fire or hosting the Tonys? ‘Congratulations to all our winners tonight, get home safe!’” — SETH MEYERS“In another post on Truth Social, President Trump defended his recently-announced cease-fire between Israel, Iran and the U.S. and said, ‘THE CEASEFIRE IS NOW IN EFFECT. PLEASE DO NOT VIOLATE IT!’ Well, that oughta do it. This reminds me of the time my bodega put up a ‘No shoplifting’ sign. You know what happened? Someone took it.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingDiego Luna brought his immigration lawyer to his second night hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Tuesday.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Bridgerton” star Jonathan Bailey will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutReneé RappMario Anzuoni/ReutersReneé Rapp and Ethel Cain are two of eight rising pop singers you should be listening to this summer. More

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    Jimmy Fallon Wonders What Trump Will Launch Next

    The “Tonight Show” host said it was crazy that the president had “launched an attack on Iran, his own parade and a cellphone in the same week.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Hard LaunchPresident Trump authorized military strikes on three Iranian nuclear facilities over the weekend.“Remember when we were scared he was going to invade Canada?” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday. “I miss that.”“Yep, the strike came as a total surprise. Apparently, Trump had all the planes fly out of the abandoned Newark airport.” — JIMMY FALLON“The U.S. on Saturday launched strikes against three Iranian nuclear sites in a surprise attack. Well, ‘surprise’ to everyone who’s not on Pete Hegseth’s text chain.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s crazy to me that the president launched an attack on Iran, his own parade and a cellphone in the same week.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump claimed Iran’s nuclear program was totally obliterated. As evidence, he held up a satellite photo showing Iran’s nuclear facility is now a Spirit Halloween.” — JIMMY FALLON“Now, were we facing an imminent threat? I don’t know. On one hand, Iran’s slogan isn’t ‘Life to America,’ but it’s hard to trust Donald Trump to be the one making these kinds of decisions. It kind of feels like we’re all in the back seat while the Uber driver goes on a road rage.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Fainting Elmo Edition)“New York governor Kathy Hochul yesterday declared a state of emergency amid a heat wave that’s expected to break 125-year-old records. Which means it’s time for my favorite hobby, going down to Times Square to watch the Elmos faint.” — SETH MEYERS“This weekend was the official start of summer, as my audience knows all too well. Thank you, thank you, you brave souls, for waiting outside in the humidity that the Weather Channel has described as ‘the devil’s trouser chili.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not wearing a suit that makes me feel sticky. It’s the two layers of Spanx underneath it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Seriously, it is brutal out there. You know it’s bad when the heat map looks like Elmo’s colonoscopy.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Mexican actor and director Diego Luna spoke out on behalf of immigrants during his first night as guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe pop music prodigy Lorde will promote her new album, “Virgin,” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMore than 500 influential directors, actors and other notable names in Hollywood and around the world voted on the best movies of the 21st century so far. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Isn’t Shocked by Trump’s Silence on Juneteenth

    Kimmel imagined the Trump base’s reaction had the president acknowledged the holiday: “We’re the ones who stopped enslaving — they should have a holiday for us!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Another Day at the OfficeOn Thursday, the United States celebrated Juneteenth, four years after it became a federal holiday honoring the end of slavery. But President Trump didn’t acknowledge it, except by complaining on Truth Social that there were too many “non-working holidays.”Jimmy Kimmel joked that while it might be “hard to believe, from a president who has done more for Blacks than Abraham Lincoln, Trump is not a fan” of Juneteenth.“I don’t know, to me, it seems like a holiday that celebrates the end of slavery is one we should all be for.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If Trump were to acknowledge Juneteenth, he would risk upsetting his not-at-all-racist-and-how-dare-you-say-we-are base. They’re like, ‘We’re the ones who stopped enslaving — they should have a holiday for us!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But then, a miracle happened. Trump did post about Juneteenth. He wrote, ‘Too many non-working holidays in America. Soon, we’ll end up having a holiday for every once working day of the year.’ Says the guy who just had a birthday parade for himself. Says the guy who has been in office for 150 days and has golfed 37 times that we know of.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Two Weeks Edition)“I saw that today the White House said Trump will make a decision on the U.S. involvement in Iran within the next two weeks. All good. No rush. Just take your time.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s always two weeks. For a guy whose catchphrase was ‘You’re fired,’ no one has ever given more two weeks’ notice than Donald J. Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If Trump thinks about this decision for two weeks, it’ll beat his previous thinking record by two weeks.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump understands that starting a war in the Middle East is a lot like quitting your sales job at Best Buy. It’s just polite.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian and actor Mike Birbiglia talked about an intriguing offer he’d gotten for a film role on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutUnraveling family mysteries for her documentary left Mariska Hargitay at peace: “It’s like a miracle to me to feel this way. I never thought I could.”Kobe Wagstaff for The New York TimesThe “Law & Order: SVU” star Mariska Hargitay’s documentary “My Mom Jayne” offers a candid portrayal of her family history and the mother she hardly knew, Jayne Mansfield. More

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    Seth Meyers Wishes Tucker Carlson and Ted Cruz Could Both Lose

    The clash of conservative titans had Meyers feeling like a Roman emperor: “I just want someone to feed me grapes while I say, ‘Let them fight.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Rooting for a Sinkhole’In a heated exchange on Tucker Carlson’s show, the host grilled Ted Cruz about Iran’s population and ethnic makeup, suggesting that the Republican senator was ignorant about the country whose government he wanted the United States to help overthrow.Seth Meyers was amused by the standoff, saying he’d never “felt more like a Roman emperor.”“I just want someone to feed me grapes while I say, ‘Let them fight.’” — SETH MEYERS“It’s like watching a sequel to ‘Alien vs. Predator’ called ‘I Can’t Believe I’m Saying This, but the Predator is Making Some Very Salient Points.’” — SETH MEYERS“Oh, damn, Ted Cruz. Are you a pair of $800 Ferragamo boat shoes? Because Tucker Carlson owned you, buddy.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“And Ted Cruz was like, ‘I know the population, just give me a second to count, OK? Let’s see, there’s the ayatollah, that’s one. Uh, the Iron Sheik, two. Is Aladdin one? No? No?” — JORDAN KLEPPER“It’s so wild to see these two fighting. But I gotta say, in an argument between Tucker Carlson and Ted Cruz, I’m rooting for a sinkhole.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Flagpole Edition)“Not now, dude! This is like your boyfriend getting down on one knee and saying, ‘Kelly, will you make me the happiest man in the world and look at these two beautiful flagpoles?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump’s announcement that new flagpoles would be installed at the White House“What’s going on here? It feels like someone told him, ‘Sir, you’re not doing well in the polls.’ And he was like, ‘I hear you, I’m on it.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Now personally, I think it’s cool that Trump found a new use for the 50-foot pole that Melania refuses to touch him with.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Wow, ‘tall, tapered, rustproof’ flagpoles. You know he must love them ’cause that’s the same way he describes his son Barron.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What a president. He spent 48 minutes yammering about flagpoles. He spent more time raising these flags than he did raising Eric and Don Jr. combined today.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth Watching“Jimmy Kimmel Live” timed how long it took fans to start eating from a bowl of nachos left on top of a garbage can at the N.B.A. Finals.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightPaul Simon will discuss coming out of retirement on “The Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSteven Spielberg, holding the camera, and his cinematographer Bill Butler during the filming of “Jaws.”Peacock/Universal Pictures, via Associated PressFifty years ago, “Jaws” established a template that blockbuster movies have been following ever since. More

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    Jordan Klepper Calls Trump Out for His ‘Irish Exit’ at G7

    The president left the Group of 7 summit in Canada a day ahead of schedule, and Tuesday’s “Daily Show” host thinks he knows why.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Stay Tuned’President Trump left the G7 summit in Canada a day earlier than planned, flying back to Washington to deal with the Iran-Israel conflict, according to the White House.On Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper called Trump out for his “Irish exit.”“Now, this is an important G7 for Trump, because he had to prove that he had the discipline and wherewithal to fix the global economy after he [expletive] up the global economy.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“We all know what this is, right? You’re at an event, you have to rush home because ‘something came up’? Look, I get it — none of us like to poop in an unfamiliar place. Sometimes, when you have a big matchup coming up, you just need that home-field advantage.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“After a few days with Trump, the Canadian prime minister was like, ‘I hate to see you go, but I also hate to see you here.’” — JIMMY FALLON“When French president Emmanuel Macron told the press that Trump left the G7 to work on a cease-fire, Trump attacked Macron, posting, ‘He has no idea why I am now on my way to Washington, but it certainly has nothing to do with a cease-fire. Much bigger than that. Stay tuned!’ Much bigger than that? Not a cease-fire? Maybe not the most subtle messaging from the commander in chief. It’s like when F.D.R. said, ‘Gotta get me some sleep. Tomorrow is Big D-Day. Can’t say much more, but it rhymes with Shmormandy.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So either the United States is about to jump in or he just got bored during the G7 icebreakers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“‘Stay tuned.’ Like it’s the season finale of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oh, great! Yeah, better than a cease-fire! Cease-fire plus! That’s great — I hate watching ads.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trade Deal Drop Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Late Night Reviews Trump’s Night at the Theater

    Jimmy Kimmel said that Trump “going to see ‘Les Misérables’ right now is like Kanye going to ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Master of the HousePresident Donald Trump attended the opening night of “Les Misérables” at the Kennedy Center on Wednesday.“Usually, when Trump watches a staged rebellion, it’s Fox News coverage of the ‘riots’ here in L.A.,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.“It’s a musical largely about a revolution. It’s the people standing up against their king. The rebellion happens in Act 2 — or, I should say, it usually happens in Act 2. After Act 1 last night, Trump called in the National Guard and squashed the whole thing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I have to say, Trump going to see ‘Les Misérables’ right now is like Kanye going to ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’ ” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Some cast members from ‘Les Mis’ decided to boycott the performance because President Trump was there. Right now, the only person less popular than Trump in the world of theater is Patti LuPone.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Napoleon Bona-spurs was accompanied by Melania, as is required under Section B Subsection 3 of their prenup, which states, ‘Mrs. Trump shall accompany her husband to no fewer than two public appearances per calendar year during which she shall refrain from open displays of revulsion, disgust, and/or hatred, regardless of current mood or events.’ Also known as ‘date night’ for them.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But Melania, from all accounts, she loved the show. Her favorite song was ‘On My Own.’” — JIMMY KIMMELOn the red carpet, a reporter asked the president if he was more of a Jean Valjean or Javert. “Oh, that’s a tough one,” he replied, and did not supply an answer.“I don’t know what’s worse: that a reporter thought it was a good idea to ask Trump if he’s the hero or the villain, or that Trump’s response was ‘Oof, that’s a tough question.’” — DESI LYDIC“All right, that’s famously not a tough one. There’s a pretty clear good guy and bad guy, but then I think Trump would have the same problem after a screening of ‘Star Wars.’ [imitating Trump] ‘Oh, that’s a tough one. Darth Vader is a mean guy, but also the Skywalker kid was very rude to the gay robot.’” — SETH MEYERS“What do you mean you don’t know? Javert is the bad guy. You just said you’ve seen the show a number of times. Is that number zero?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating Trump] The character I identify with most is Les. Les — Lester Miserables. Big, tough guy. Built that castle on a cloud. Not happy about it.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Desi Lydic Wants Trump to Leave the Troops Alone

    Hosts ripped into his comment during a speech to troops about former President Joe Biden never having been “the sharpest bulb.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Two Tacos Short of a Happy Meal’President Donald Trump visited soldiers at Fort Bragg on Tuesday, where he delivered a speech to “his favorite men in uniform who aren’t in the Village People,” Desi Lydic said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”“Oh, my God, give these troops a break already! They have to sit through your show, they have to invade Los Angeles, and now they have to parade for you?” — DESI LYDICDuring his speech, Trump attempted to criticize former President Joe Biden’s intelligence, saying, “He’s never been the sharpest bulb.”“He was there to commemorate the 250th anniversary of the army, so, of course, he ended up discussing Joe Biden.” — DESI LYDIC“What a wordsmith. See, see, most people would’ve gone with ‘brightest bulb,’ or ‘sharpest tool,’ but Donald Trump took half of both and smushed them together. That is what makes him the cream of the litter.” — DESI LYDIC“But that’s Trump — he’s not the brightest knife in the drawer. Some say he’s two tacos short of a Happy Meal.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He wasn’t the sharpest bulb, no. He wasn’t the brightest knife in the drawer.” — JIMMY FALLON“When Trump’s staff told him that he misquoted the idiom, he was, like, ‘Hey, who are you calling an idiom?’” — JIMMY FALLON‘Nothing $300 Million Couldn’t Fix’Elon Musk addressed last week’s tweets concerning President Trump on Wednesday, posting on X: “I regret some of my posts about President @realdonaldtrump last week. They went too far.”Jimmy Fallon said he was shocked: “I didn’t know Elon was programmed to feel human emotion.”“Yeah, apparently, Trump and Elon spoke over the phone on Monday night. Trump was very gracious. He was, like, ‘This is nothing another $300 million donation couldn’t fix.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Which ones went too far? Was it the one where you called for him to be impeached and replaced by JD Vance? Was it the one where you said his big, beautiful bill was a disgusting abomination? Was it the one that said he wouldn’t have won the election without you buying it for him? Or the one where you insinuated he is a pedophile on the Epstein list? I really would like to know.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Calls Trump an ‘Arsonist With a Hose’

    The L.A.-based host said the city’s problem was the president, not the protests: “We have more so-called ‘unrest’ here when one of our teams wins a championship.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fake NewsOn Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel, who’s based in Los Angeles, mocked the idea that protests against immigration raids have turned the city into “some kind of totalitarian hellscape” — a notion pushed by President Trump (and some cable news outlets) as he sent in Marines and the National Guard.“He wants there to be a war going on here, and he doesn’t care who gets hurt in it. There’s no riot outside. We have more so-called ‘unrest’ here when one of our teams wins a championship.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Not only is it not an apocalypse, they’re having a Disney Pixar movie premiere right now, for ‘Elio,’ a movie about aliens. Don’t tell Trump, he’ll send the Green Berets in, too.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, when we had the wildfires that devastated big chunks of our city, he did absolutely nothing. Now that we’re in the middle of a nonemergency: ‘Send in the National Guard!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Putting out a fire you purposely start doesn’t make you a firefighter, it makes you an arsonist with a hose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yes, nothing calms down a situation like a military invasion.” — DESI LYDIC“You know, I’m beginning to wonder if Trump is intentionally trying to escalate this situation because more chaos allows him to portray blue states as centers of crime, while positioning himself as the strongman that the country needs to rally around. No, that’s silly. I’m sure he’s just doing what’s best for everyone.” — DESI LYDIC“Now, as we speak, Trump has sent thousands of troops into downtown L.A. to quell what historians will remember as the Battle of That Video of a Burning Waymo Car They Kept Showing on Cable News.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And to those of you in the National Guard who have been thrust into this: When Donald Trump orders you to do something that you know is immoral, try to get your dad’s podiatrist to write a note to say you have bone spurs.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The president of the United States has been tougher on L.A. than on Russia. Remember that two-week deadline he gave Putin to sit down for peace talks with Ukraine? As of tomorrow, it’s two weeks. But, by all means, send the Marines to The Grove.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s terrible policy has generated a huge backlash, which he’s responded to by overreacting, which is going to generate another backlash. We don’t know how this is going to end, but at least we know it’ll be a huge waste of money.” — DESI LYDIC“I just want to say, thank God for President Trump and the heroes at ICE for protecting us from these bloodthirsty fruit stand vendors, spreading their dangerous pineapple chunks and mangos with a squirt of lime all over the city.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Meanwhile on Fox News Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More