“Not only is it morally wrong, but you’re also just giving him more things to brag about,” Ronny Chieng said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘In His Natural Habitat’
Late night returned in full on Tuesday, with a focus on what officials believe was a second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump.
“Yes, this weekend, a crazy person tried to hunt Donald Trump in his natural habitat, his golf course,” Ronny Chieng said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
“Now here’s how this craziness went down: A truly deranged man went to Mar-a-Lago’s golf course and spent nearly 12 hours hiding there before a Secret Service agent spotted his rifle sticking through the shrubbery. That sounds like an evil plot straight out of Looney Tunes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Yo, again? Will you people stop trying to assassinate Donald Trump? Not only is it morally wrong, but you’re also just giving him more things to brag about: ‘They only tried to kill Abraham Lincoln once; that makes me twice as great as him.’” — RONNY CHIENG
“Given that Trump’s campaign hadn’t announced any public plans for Sunday, many wondered did the suspect know the former president would be coming to play golf or was it a guess? Yes, how could he possibly have guessed that Trump would be golfing?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This guy managed to walk into Trump’s golf course and stay there undetected for 12 hours, OK? And I don’t know if you’ve thought about this, Trump, but maybe you should consider building, like, a wall?” — RONNY CHIENG
“By the way, have you noticed that the news reports are all like ‘a harrowing near tragedy sending chills through our nation!’ and meanwhile, everyone you actually know is like, ‘Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw that, yeah.’ I mean, we have to act like it’s a big deal, but it doesn’t really have the same impact of the first one, you know? It’s kind of like ‘Black Panther 2.’ You’re like, ‘Yeah, I guess I’ll see it.’” — RONNY CHIENG
The Punchiest Punchlines (Swift Social Edition)
“In a post to Truth Social over the weekend, former President Trump said, ‘I hate Taylor Swift!’ Sounds like he’s making a strong play for the 9-year-old brother vote.” — SETH MEYERS
“Donald tweeting ‘I hate Taylor Swift?’ That’s dangerous. I mean, I would rather buy one of those Hezbollah pagers than tweet ‘I hate Taylor Swift.’” — RONNY CHIENG
“I think Trump needs to stick to racism — it’s less divisive.” — RONNY CHIENG
“But the assassin this weekend was probably not a Swiftie, OK? He doesn’t fit the M.O. Swifties are nonviolent — they prefer to cyberbully you until you kill yourself.” — RONNY CHIENG
The Bits Worth Watching
We are having trouble retrieving the article content.
Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.
Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.
Thank you for your patience while we verify access.
Already a subscriber? Log in.
Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
