“You know, when a violent mob attacked our embassy in Benghazi, Republicans in Congress investigated it eight times,” Kimmel said. “A violent mob attacked the U.S. Capitol, they’re like: ‘Tourists! What are you gonna do?’”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Et Tu, Bro?
On Wednesday, the House of Representatives voted to create an independent commission to investigate the attempted insurrection at the Capitol on Jan. 6.
“Basically, the House wanted to create a commission to look into what we all saw happen with our own eyes,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
Late-night hosts focused on the majority of Republicans who voted against the commission. In the Senate, where prospects are dim, the opposition is led by Mitch McConnell, or, as Kimmel referred to him, a “smug son of a Mitch.”
“The House voted today on legislation to create an independent commission tasked with investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol, while House Republicans are still claiming that there was no Jan. 6 this year.” — SETH MEYERS
“One person I was surprised to learn voted ‘no’ on this measure was Indiana Representative Greg Pence, who is Mike Pence’s own brother. Certainly changes the meaning of this text from Greg: ‘Hey, bro, wanna hang this weekend?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Republicans say a commission should only be established if it can investigate other protests, including the racial-justice demonstrations last summer following the murder of George Floyd. Right, good thinking. There’s got to be some way to blame Black people for this, and you found it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Some of these guys are also saying they want to ‘move on’ and not rehash the past. Right. You know, when a violent mob attacked our embassy in Benghazi, Republicans in Congress investigated it eight times. A violent mob attacks the U.S. Capitol, they’re like: ‘Tourists! What are you gonna do?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“OK, first of all, describing it as people without firearms coming into a building leaves out a lot of crucial context. It’s like writing a book report about ‘The Great Gatsby’ that says, ‘Man Enjoys Summer in the Hamptons.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Also, it’s a lie — there were weapons, as the Justice Department, reporters and video have all documented. But even if that statement were true, it’s not very comforting. If a group of criminals breaks into your house with some baseball bats, smashes all your belongings and steals all your money, it wouldn’t exactly make you feel better if the cops were, like: ‘Hey, there are worse things in life. Eric Trump’s out there just hugging people in the street.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Fraud Edition)
“Last night, the New York state attorney general’s office announced that it is now pursuing a criminal investigation of the Trump organization. This is a huge deal. I mean, I think it is. I have no idea. I also thought the multiple impeachments were a huge deal at the time.” — JAMES CORDEN
“It’s just like that old saying: Crime doesn’t pay, except for the first 74 years of your life, and then probably longer depending on appeals.” — JAMES CORDEN
“This criminal investigation is a big deal. Up until now, the case against the lingering orange fart was merely financial and might have cost him money but didn’t threaten his liberty. And I assume ‘liberty’ means freedom and not the name of another porn star he paid off.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This was previously a civil matter. It began after Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen testified that Trump had inflated the value of his properties to get better loans, and then undervalued them when it came to filing taxes. And, of course, it’s not like Donald Trump to cheat, but I guess they had to check it out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And they’re looking now at bank fraud, tax fraud, insurance fraud. It’s starting to look like the guy who ran a fraudulent charitable foundation and a fraudulent university might be a fraud.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So they say Trump could potentially get extradited from Florida to New York. If he does end up in prison, I think we should give him Twitter back. I don’t know about you, but I’d want to know everything that goes on in there, right? I’d pay for that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“This ends with a police chase, too, right? O.J. style? Either that or this will be the 37th crime he gets away with.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Fran Lebowitz told Jimmy Fallon on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show” that everyone in New York but her was smoking weed.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Ryan O’Connell, the creator and star of “Special,” will sit down with Seth Meyers on Thursday’s “Late Night.”
Also, Check This Out
Uzo Aduba stars as the clinical psychologist Dr. Brooke Taylor in HBO’s reboot of “In Treatment.”
Source: Television - nytimes.com
