Trevor Noah Tricks His Audience Into Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ for Trump

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Birthday Wishes

Donald Trump turned 76 on Tuesday, and Trevor Noah tricked his “Daily Show” audience into singing “Happy Birthday” to the former president before saying whom they were signing it for. After the boos ceased, he remarked that “the haters can’t even give the poor man a day off.”

“All week long the Jan. 6 committee has been riding his ass just because he tried to overthrow the government. And now — and now — they’re even accusing him of fraud, just because he asked his supporters for money to set up an election defense fund and didn’t set up an election defense fund,” Noah said.

“Former President Trump turned 76 today, so now he’s really asking everyone to stop the count.” — SETH MEYERS

“That’s right, today was former President Donald Trump’s 76th birthday. Pretty impressive — 76 and he can still get an insurrection.” — SETH MEYERS

“Trump took some of the money he said he’s going to use to fight election fraud and paid his son’s fiancée $60,000 for a two-minute introduction speech, which is such a scam, I don’t care what anyone says. That’s an even bigger scam than tai chi. Yeah, oh I’m sorry who are you going to fight, an army of slow butterflies?” — TREVOR NOAH

“They also skimmed off over $200,000 for the former president’s hotels — and that was just Giuliani’s bar tab.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“During yesterday’s congressional hearing, it was revealed that Donald Trump Jr.’s fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle, was paid $60,000 to speak at the rally before the Capitol attack. Well, technically, $20,000 to speak and then $40,000 to please stop.” — SETH MEYERS

“This does prove that Donald Trump is a proud feminist ally. Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Everyone’s always complaining women get paid less for more work, but Trump, no, he is doing everything to close the wage gap. He paid Kimberly Guilfoyle for two minutes’ work. He paid Stormy Daniels for two minutes’ of work. Yeah, Trump isn’t breaking the law, he is breaking the glass ceiling.” — TREVOR NOAH

“So he duped $250 million from his most passionate supporters and then watched as they all go to prison while he sat in Mar-a-Lago double-fisting coconut shrimp. And these aren’t wealthy people. You can always tell when they’re wearing nothing but giveaway merch from the losing team.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“As much as people want to be angry at Donald Trump, I feel like this is one of the instances where he is the black light on America’s democracy. Because he didn’t invent this scam — politicians from every party use their campaign funds to enrich their friends, it’s just Trump does it so egregiously that everyone notices it. All politicians are, like, ‘Donate, it’s for the fund, but nobody looks where the money goes. Yeah, it’s just something you pay attention to because of how he does it. It’s the same way all of us have eaten a grape or two at the grocery store, but Trump’s the guy who walks into Whole Foods with a fork and knife, you know? He’s like [imitating Trump] ‘You guys have the best raw chicken. So good. So good.’” — TREVOR NOAH

The Punchiest Punchlines (Sobering Advice Edition)

“Rudy Giuliani is firing back on reports from the Jan. 6 hearings that he was inebriated on election night. He tweeted, ‘I refused all alcohol that evening. My favorite drink … Diet Pepsi.’ So, just to be clear, Rudy’s defense is that he gave the dumbest, most unethical advice in the history of America while stone-cold sober, got it.” — JAMES CORDEN

“It can be very hard to tell, because sometimes he’s drunk, and sometimes he’s pretending he’s not.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“What an endorsement that is. You just know the people at Pepsi were like ‘Uh, he must mean Diet Coke. He means Coca-Cola, right? You mean Coca-Cola? Any brand of cola, really, RC Cola, Shasta, maybe a generic grocery store brand cola.’“ — JAMES CORDEN

“[imitating Giuliani ] I love Diet Pepsi, especially a robust, red Diet Pepsi, or, in the summer, a diet Pepsi rosé. I also enjoy boxed Diet Pepsi.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Dakota Johnson played a game of “Mad Lib Karaoke” with Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”

What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night

Phoebe Bridgers will perform on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”

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