Prosecutors recovered 18 devices during their current investigation into Trump’s former lawyer. “Eighteen devices? Man, that’s a lot of porn,” Stephen Colbert said.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Left to His Own Devices
Federal prosecutors recovered 18 electronic devices from Rudy Giuliani during their investigation into his lobbying Ukraine for dirt on Joe Biden ahead of the 2020 election.
“Eighteen devices? Man, that’s a lot of porn,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
“Always a good sign when you have three phones.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But this week, Rudy generously offered to assist the feds in finding reasons to charge him when he helped investigators unlock several electronic devices by providing a list of possible passwords. It’s a real bad sign when you have to carry around a piece of paper with a list of possible passwords.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“He gave them a list of possible passwords to two other devices they seized, and even let investigators look inside the coffin he sleeps in during daylight hours.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I’m happy to say ‘The Late Show’ has acquired a copy of the list. There’s ‘L3akyheadjuice21,’ ‘seckswithcousin69,’ and ‘4SeasonsTotalManscaping.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Smile, You’re Not on Camera Edition)
“And there is some good news: The Brooklyn subway shooting suspect has been arrested. That’s nice. That’s fast. The suspect’s name is Frank R. James. Authorities know this because a credit card with Mr. James’s name on it had been found at the scene of the shooting, as had a key to a van Mr. James had rented. He also left a cheek swab, a filled-out tax return and his SoulCycle emergency contact. Very generous of him.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“One of the unusual facts about this shooter is that he is 62 years old, which means technically he wasn’t on the run — he was on the mall walk.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It’s fortunate that James left behind plenty of evidence, because none of the station’s security cameras were in full operation at the time of the shooting. Well, that’s what the M.T.A. gets for hiring the same guy who did the cameras in Jeffrey Epstein’s cell.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Really? really? Out of 10,000 cameras in the subway system the only three that weren’t working are the ones that could have helped? Really? That is a crazy stroke of bad luck if it were true.” — TREVOR NOAH
“It does explain the new subway safety posters: ‘If you see something, that’s cool — we didn’t.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Let’s not get hung up on the details. The important thing is that those cameras cost New York taxpayers $800,000 each. Don’t forget that — that is all that matters.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Louis Virtel, a writer for “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” protested Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law on his recurring segment, “Virtel It Like it Is.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Flight Attendant” star Rosie Perez will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Billy Crystal is returning to Broadway in “Mr. Saturday Night,” a musical version of his 1992 movie about an aging performer who won’t accept that his time in the spotlight is up.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
