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    Stephen Colbert Mocks Trump for Recycling His Old Insults

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    Colbert said the ex-president was “focused on the real issue gripping the country: desperately workshopping a new nickname for Kamala Harris.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Who’s the Boss?Former President Donald Trump held a campaign rally in Charlotte, N.C., on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert said Trump spent most of the evening “focused on the real issue gripping the country: desperately workshopping a new nickname for Kamala Harris.”“[imitating Trump] K as in Kamala, A as in Amala, M as in Malala, A as in Ah, L as in Lyin’ Kamala — L-Y-I-N-apostrophe — oh God, I’m back at the beginning again.” — STEPHEN COLBERTColbert blasted Trump for resorting to his old “Apprentice” tagline, “You’re fired.” “That’s a 10-year-old reference!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden Goes Live Edition)“Well guys, last night President Biden gave an Oval Office address and talked about his decision to drop out of the race. Things got off to a fun start when Biden said, ‘My fellow Americans, Kamala is brat.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That humility, that self-sacrifice, is so beautiful, truly patriotic and a refreshing change from the last guy.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Once the speech was done, Biden joined staff out in the Rose Garden for ice cream. Not only was there an ice cream party, sources say President Biden also had a great time in the bouncy castle.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“By the way, can you imagine all the cool [expletive] Biden’s going to take on his way out of the White House? You got your pens, your paper clips, maybe a couple of nuclear warheads.” — LAMORNE MORRIS, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”The Bits Worth WatchingRob Lowe auditioned for the role of Kamala Harris’s running mate on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutDavid Bowie and Rosanna Arquette in “The Linguini Incident.”IsolarRichard Shepherd’s director’s cut of “The Linguini Incident,” his low-budget, hard-to-find ’90s rom-com starring David Bowie and Rosanna Arquette, is soon to be available on Blu-ray. More

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      Stephen Colbert Wants a Kamala Harris-Glen Powell Ticket

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      “I guarantee he will attract suburban women, and I already have his slogan: ‘Yes, We Glen!’” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Four More Abs!Vice President Kamala Harris raised more than $100 million ahead of her first campaign rally in Wisconsin on Tuesday.“That means that Kamala Harris had a bigger opening weekend than ‘Twisters,’” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”“Oh wait, hold on, hear me out, no more ideas, this is it: Glen Powell becomes Harris’s running mate. I guarantee — I guarantee he will attract suburban women, and I already have his slogan: ‘Yes, We Glen.’ Four more abs! Four more abs!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’ve got to say, it was refreshing to see a presidential rally without a single wrestler from the 1980s.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In fact, the turnout was so large that organizers said they had to move the rally to a larger venue. Wow, needing a bigger space for your rally used to be Trump’s whole thing. Maybe she should take something else — maybe she should start selling her own celebrity Bible. But instead of Lee Greenwood, it’s Beyoncé — ‘The Beyble.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Switch Up Edition)“I’m a little worried because since Sunday afternoon, I haven’t been that worried, and that is deeply troubling. I personally blame our next president, Kamala Harris.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Earlier tonight, President Biden gave a prime-time address from the Oval Office about his decision to drop out of the race. Basically, on Sunday, he broke up with the country over text, and tonight, he met us for coffee to explain.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Biden delivered the address, although it was hard for people to focus with Kamala’s interior designer in the background.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingMatt Damon and Jimmy Fallon led the “Tonight Show” audience in a singalong to “Sweet Caroline.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe comedian and actor Marlon Wayans will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutChappell Roan onstage at the Capitol Hill Block Party in Seattle last Friday.Chappell Roan’s star has risen so quickly that the pop star scrambled to upgrade to larger venues on her summer tour. More

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      Late Night Breaks Down ‘Kamala Is Brat’

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      The Harris campaign’s embrace of the Gen Z term puzzled cable news analysts of a certain age, but Stephen Colbert was glad to clear things up.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.New BratitudeSocial media has been ablaze with Kamala Harris memes since her candidacy for president was announced. The pop star Charli XCX proclaimed that “Kamala is brat,” and the Harris campaign embraced the label, leading to some puzzlement on cable news channels.“If you’re a little confused about this brat thing, you’re not as confused as CNN,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday, cutting to a clip of Jake Tapper, Kaitlan Collins and other panelists earnestly discussing the Gen Z concept.“Because nothing says ‘I am hep to what’s hip’ like printing out a meme and putting on your reading glasses.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“All of their kids are watching like, ‘If you want to know what the definition of cringe is, this is it.’” — JIMMY FALLONColbert triumphantly pointed to an article declaring that he, himself, is brat. “It is my certified bratitude that empowers me to do this,” he said, launching into a TikTok dance routine to Charli XCX’s “Apple” as his audience cheered him on.“Your move, Tapper.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tyler Perry Edition)“That’s right, Kamala raised $81 million in 24 hours. She would have raised even more, but Melania hit her daily withdrawal limit.” — JIMMY FALLON“Now there’s only one other Black woman who’s made that much money in a weekend, and that woman’s name is Tyler Perry.” — LAMORNE MORRIS, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“She became the presumptive nominee in 48 hours. To put that in perspective, it’s been more than three years, and we still don’t have a new James Bond. By the way, Joe is available.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, Kamala is a hit, and I think I know why — she’s way younger than Trump and wears less eyeliner than JD Vance.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Nigerian singer-songwriter Ayra Starr performed a medley of two tracks from her new album, “The Year I Turned 21,” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightRyan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman, the stars of “Deadpool & Wolverine,” will co-guest-host “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday.Also, Check This Out“Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar” has been woefully neglected. Maybe it was the culottes?Cate Cameron/LionsgateThe overlooked 2021 comedy from Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, “Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar,” deserves a second chance this summer. More

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      Stephen Colbert Retires His Joe Biden Sunglasses

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      The “Late Show” host is putting his aviators on a shelf, now that the president has ended his re-election campaign.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Biden’s Retirement PartyPresident Biden bowed out of the 2024 presidential race on Sunday.“It’s shocking, but this makes sense,” Stephen Colbert said. “It’ll give him time to rest up for 2028.”“He steered this country out of a horrific pandemic, he saved countless lives by encouraging people to get vaccinated, he brought the economy back, he rallied our allies, he reasserted America’s place in the world stage, and most inspiring of all, at no time was he Donald Trump.” — STEPHEN COLBERTColbert officially retired his Joe Biden aviator sunglasses on Monday, saying they had done “the hardest job of all:They made it seem like I had a Joe Biden impression.”“But I do not have a Kamala Harris impression, so she’s wearing aviators, too.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I am officially retiring all of my ‘Joe Biden is old’ jokes, OK? They were starting to get tired anyway. Just like Joe Biden. That was the last one! I swear. Now I’m going to unretire them to use on Donald Trump.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye Bye, Biden Edition)“Typically, on Sundays, everyone thinks about quitting their job, but Biden is the first person to actually go through with it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, it was one of the rare times every cable news graphic said ‘Breaking news’ and it was breaking news.” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, he didn’t, like, drop out so much as he kind of just, like, wandered off, you know what I’m saying?” — LAMORNE MORRIS, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“Biden is now getting credit for guiding us through the pandemic, creating millions of jobs, rebuilding our nation’s crumbling infrastructure and eliminating billions in student loans. Democrats heard that and were like, ‘Hey, this guy should run for president!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Following the big news, Biden supporters gathered around the White House to thank him for dropping out of the race. Biden’s not quite sure how to feel, you know? I mean, ‘thanks for leaving’ is not really a compliment, you know?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel’s guest host, Lamorne Morris, offered a few helpful tips for being “Caucasian at the Cookout.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightHugh Jackman, star of “Deadpool & Wolverine,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJames Earl Jones, left, and Andre Braugher in “Homicide: Life on the Street.” The series begins streaming on Peacock on Aug. 19.Michael Ginsburg/NBC, via Getty ImagesAll seven seasons of the acclaimed 1990s police procedural “Homicide: Life on the Street” will finally be available for streaming next month. More

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      Late Night Taunts Former Critics Who Changed Their Minds About Trump

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      J.D. Vance and Nikki Haley, among other Republicans at the convention, seem to have gotten over their reservations about the former president.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Walking It BackA recurring theme of this week’s Republican National Convention has been former critics of Donald Trump singing his praises, including Nikki Haley and, most notably, J.D. Vance, who accepted the vice presidential nomination on Wednesday.“Vance started by saying, ‘All that comparing-Trump-to-Hitler stuff? Full take-backsies,’” Jimmy Fallon said on “The Tonight Show.”“While speaking last night at the Republican National Convention, Nikki Haley said, ‘There are some Americans who don’t agree with Donald Trump 100 percent of the time.’ For example, all the speakers of the R.N.C. just a few months ago.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Nikki Haley spoke at the R.N.C. last night and said that former President Trump has her ‘strong endorsement, period.’ And then Mike Johnson tried to have her arrested for saying ‘period.’” — SETH MEYERS“You are a total sellout with no spine. Period.” — ANTHONY ANDERSON, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”The Punchiest Punchlines (Babydog Edition)“And I think no matter what your politics, we can all agree that Babydog is fantastic. Honestly, if Republicans had nominated Babydog for president, I’d be [expletive] torn. I think even Biden would be like, ‘[expletive], maybe I should drop out.’” — SETH MEYERS on Gov. Jim Justice’s bulldog, who appeared beside him onstage at the convention“Really undercuts your message of doom when the camera cuts to a super-happy dog just chillin’ in a chair. Your words say, ‘If Biden wins, the country will be destroyed,’ but her face says, ‘I’m doing [expletive] great, no matter who wins.’” — SETH MEYERS“Why do I feel like they share a sleep apnea machine?” — JIMMY FALLON“Looks like a Friar’s Club roast on Animal Planet.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingHowie Mandel shared his fondness for pranking Heidi Klum, his fellow “America’s Got Talent” judge, during an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightSenator Bernie Sanders will appear live on Thursday’s “Late Show” after the Republican convention wraps up.Also, Check This Out“Shogun,” an FX drama, captured the most nominations, with 25.Katie Yu/FX, via Associated Press“The Bear,” “Shogun” and “Baby Reindeer” are among the television shows with the most Emmy nominations this year. More

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      Jon Stewart Razzes a ‘Daily Show’ Guest: Bill O’Reilly

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      The former Fox host, a longtime foil of the show, said he knew he had “no friends here.” “Well, not just here,” Stewart replied.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sparring Partners“The Daily Show” was supposed to be in Milwaukee for the Republican National Convention this week, but the attempt on Donald Trump’s life changed that. “What a terrible [expletive] week,” Jon Stewart said as he opened Tuesday’s show from New York.“‘Hey Jon, come back to ‘The Daily Show,’ just for the election. It’ll be fun! You’ll do one day a week, it’ll be a laugh! What could go wrong?’” — JON STEWARTWith security at the convention enhanced, the theater where they’d planned to tape the show was locked down, Stewart explained. In security parlance, it was now in the “hard perimeter,” not the “soft perimeter.” “You really don’t want to be in the hard perimeter,” he said.While Stewart touched on the convention’s first two days in his opener, the real amusement came from his sit-down with Bill O’Reilly, the former Fox host who provided fodder for many “Daily Show” jokes in years past.The two have squared off before, and O’Reilly nodded to that history: “We are able to disagree without hating each other. Now, I truly hate him. But I don’t show it.”“I like coming on here, in front of all of your friends out here — and the audience should know, I have no friends here.” — BILL O’REILLY“Well, not just here.” — JON STEWARTO’Reilly tried to distance himself from Trump, saying that as a registered independent, he didn’t have a candidate. Then he pulled out a sheet of paper and rattled off a list of prices, mortgage rates and overdose rates that had risen during the Biden administration.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      ‘The Daily Show’ Ribs Biden Over Democratic Detractors

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      “You know you’re in trouble if even Danny Ocean is saying, ‘We can’t pull this one off,’” Desi Lydic joked after George Clooney called for Biden to drop out.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Ocean’s 24On Wednesday, Representative Nancy Pelosi, the former House speaker, responded to questions about whether the president should continue to seek re-election by saying that she would support President Biden, “whatever he decides.”“Keep in mind, Biden has said about 50 times that he’s staying in the race,” Jordan Klepper said on “The Daily Show.”“He’s like, ‘I’m not going anywhere. The Lord almighty couldn’t get me out of this race,’ and Pelosi’s going, ‘Yup, great, just let us know when you decide. Clock’s ticking — tick-tock.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“By the way, it probably doesn’t help that as she was speaking, I kept thinking, ‘Man, I wish that Biden could channel the youth and vigor of Nancy Pelosi.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“You know things are crazy when an 84-year-old Nancy Pelosi is telling an 81-year-old Joe Biden to retire.” — JIMMY FALLONIn the same segment, “The Daily Show” co-host Desi Lydic referred to George Clooney as an “even more powerful Democrat,” after he called for Biden to step aside in a Times opinion essay.“You know you’re in trouble if even Danny Ocean is saying, ‘We can’t pull this one off.’” — DESI LYDIC“It’s easy for him to say Biden’s too old — Clooney doesn’t age.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“George wrote a New York Times Op-Ed titled ‘I Love Joe Biden. But We Need a New Nominee,’ adding, ‘We also need a money guy, a safecracker, an acrobat and Brad Pitt. It’s the plot of ‘Ocean’s 24: Amal’s Busy With Human Rights Stuff and I Got Bored.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Wait, while we were all distracted by this Op-Ed, who was watching the money? Oh, it was a heist the whole time. Clooney!” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Different Strokes Edition)“At his rally last night in Florida, former President Trump challenged President Biden to a golf match. Biden’s actually interested because, in golf, the lowest number wins.” — SETH MEYERS“That’d be a crazy match. While Trump replaces a divot with his hairpiece, Biden will be in the sand trap with a metal detector.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump said if Biden beats him, he’d give a million dollars to charity. Keep in mind, Charity is the name of a dancer at a club near Mar-a-Lago, but still, he’s going to give it to her.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Finds Democrats Still Ridin’ for Biden

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      “People waited all day for white smoke to emerge from the capital, signaling a new leader,” Jimmy Fallon joked after Congressional Democrats met in Washington on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Blowing SmokeCongressional Democrats met in Washington on Tuesday to discuss their concerns about President Biden’s re-election campaign.“People waited all day for white smoke to emerge from the Capitol, signaling a new leader,” Jimmy Fallon said.“So today, Congressional Democrats gathered behind closed doors to talk about Biden’s future in what one of them called a ‘come-to-Jesus meeting.’ No, no! Do not let Joe come anywhere near Jesus until Nov. 6. Walk away from the light, Joe. Get away!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Some described the meeting as very positive, while others said the room was filled with sadness. So, basically, our government has the same plot as ‘Inside Out 2.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Reports say the mood of the meeting was very somber, with some members comparing it to a funeral, while another said that analogy was an insult to funerals. Hey, Democrats, keep it light.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Meanwhile, that big old flirt President Biden hosted world leaders at the NATO summit in Washington today. But only one of them will be the next Golden Bachelor.” — KATHRYN HAHN, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“When Biden walked into the room with 31 world leaders, he wasn’t sure if it was a NATO summit or an intervention.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (America’s Next Top Vice President Edition)“With the convention starting on Monday, the question on a lot of people’s minds is who will Donald Trump pick as his running mate? And, as of this taping, the latest reports say that Trump has narrowed it down to three: Senators Marco Rubio, J.D. Vance and North Dakota’s governor, Doug Burgum, a.k.a. the cute one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s the perfect, perfect time for a reality show president to pick his running mate via reality show: [imitating Trump] ‘I see before me three beautiful candidates, but, sadly, only one can be America’s next top vice president.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump wanting to announce his running mate at the Republican National Convention“Trump needs someone who is going to help him win, so right now the front-runner is Joe Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump’s campaign needs to win over women and minorities, which is why he’s narrowed it down to two white guys.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAasif Mandvi, a former correspondent of “The Daily Show,” returned to promote his new horror-comedy series, “Evil.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightGovernor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan will discuss her new memoir, “True Gretch,” on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutClockwise from left: Jonathan Lethem; Roxane Gay; Stephen King; Sarah Jessica Parker; Marlon James; Min Jin LeeThe New York TimesStephen King, Roxane Gay, Sarah Jessica Parker and more shared their picks for the top 10 books of the 21st century. More

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      Late Night Mulls Biden’s Decision to Stay in the Race

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      “He’s basically the guy doing 30 in the left lane, and he ain’t moving for anybody,” Jimmy Fallon said of President Biden on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Staying the CoursePresident Biden has doubled down on his decision to seek re-election, defying critics who want him to step aside after his poor showing in the first debate with Donald Trump.On Monday, Jimmy Fallon joked that if Biden refused to drop out, Democrats planned “to tie a bunch of balloons to the White House and hope he flies away like the old guy from ‘Up.’”“It’s either that or put a bunch of Werther’s on the ground and lure him out like E.T.” — JIMMY FALLON“He’s basically the guy doing 30 in the left lane, and he ain’t moving for anybody.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Biden’s brushing everyone off. He’s like, ‘Hey, people have been telling me not to run for president since 1988 — I think I know what I’m doing.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Democrats in Congress are reportedly trying to find the best way for Biden to ‘move forward,’ which is probably with one of those walkers with the tennis balls on the bottom of them.” — KATHRYN HAHN, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“So, should he stay? Should he go? Who am I to recommend? I don’t know what’s going on in Joe Biden’s mind — something I apparently have in common with Joe Biden.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The truth is, both candidates are very old. This might be the first presidential race where a slick bathtub could alter the course of history.” — KATHRYN HAHNThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sleepy Joe Edition)“Meanwhile, today, amid calls for him to drop out of the election, Biden sent a letter to Democrats addressing concern about his age and says that he’s firmly committed to staying in the race. Yeah, and nothing says ‘I’m young’ like writing a sternly worded letter.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More