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    Seth Meyers Skewers Subpoenaed Trump Cronies

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    “It’s also important to remember these people only hang out with each other because there is no one else who will hang out with them,” Meyers said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Gang’s All HereSeth Meyers gave an update on Donald Trump’s cronies on Wednesday’s “Closer Look.”Meyers noted that the congressional committee investigating the Jan. 6 insurrection had subpoenaed five more Trump allies this week, “including disgraced right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who always looks like he’s trying to Hulk out even though he wasn’t exposed to gamma rays, and Roger Stone, the guy who famously showed up to Trump’s inauguration looking like an 18th-century oil baron that makes his own meth at home.”“What does it mean to be ‘fluent in Trump?’ You only use words with one syllable, you talk like a cabdriver from Queens, or you know how to stretch a single sentence into a rambling, hourlong monologue?” — SETH MEYERS on Roger Stone“I mean, your law license was suspended, and you lost every case you brought after the election. The only thing you succeeded at doing was drumming up publicity for a landscaping company.” — SETH MEYERS on Rudy Giuliani“It’s also important to remember these people only hang out with each other because there is no one else who will hang out with them.” — SETH MEYERS“And, believe me, I’m as shocked as you are that these misshapen potato chips had a plan. It’s much easier to think of them as a bunch of easily distracted doofuses who get caught trying to steal a pen from a bank without realizing it’s chained to the desk.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Thanksgiving Edition)“That’s right, Thanksgiving: It’s the day that you forget about all the fighting and division in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division in your family.” — JIMMY FALLON“According to the latest numbers, the average cost for a 10-person Thanksgiving dinner is $53, not including bail money.” — SETH MEYERS“And while last year people mostly stayed home because of the pandemic, this year, families are planning to return to larger Thanksgiving celebrations. You know what that means: Lot of people in their early 20s are going back to the kids table: ‘I know you just graduated from Swarthmore, Neil, but tonight, you’ll be with Madison and Parker, talkin’ “Paw Patrol.”’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“As more people are vaccinated, the holidays are returning to normal — a.k.a. cray-cray. In fact, about 53 million people are expected to travel for Thanksgiving, and all of them will be on your flight trying to board before their group gets called.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, since it’s the night before Thanksgiving; lots of Americans are getting their antibodies checked to see if they can fight off Aunt Rita’s mystery casserole.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m actually hosting Thanksgiving. My favorite part is guessing which relative is going to get the one chair that’s shorter than all the others.” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, lots of people will be making turkey, while others will be cooking a turducken. You know what a turducken — it’s a coronary inside a stroke, inside a heart attack.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingKeke Palmer did impersonations of Cher, Angela Bassett and Shakira on “The Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutA test flight of Funko’s Grogu balloon, which will make its debut at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this week.A new Baby Yoda balloon will fly above the streets of New York at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. More

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      Late Night Riffs on Biden’s Order to Release Oil Reserves

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      “For those who don’t know, the strategic reserve is a series of caverns filled with fossil fuel and strategically located inside Rudy Giuliani’s head,” Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Black Gold’President Biden announced that he would release 50 million barrels of oil from the strategic reserve in an effort to lower gas prices.“For those who don’t know, the strategic reserve is a series of caverns filled with fossil fuel and strategically located inside Rudy Giuliani’s head,” Stephen Colbert joked on Tuesday night.“This is great news for me. I was just thinking of getting my wife a barrel of oil for Christmas.” — JAMES CORDEN“According to the president, this is the largest release from the reserve in U.S. history. And in response, a spokesman for the American Petroleum Institute released this statement: [Imitating an oil tycoon] ‘Oil! Black gold! Sweet dinosaur jelly! West Texas dirt milk, we’re rich! We’re richer than Jesus!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not clear if this is gonna work. Energy experts have consistently said such a release would do little to lower prices at the pump. It’s also not the best look right after you come back from a climate conference: ‘We must end our addiction to fossil fuels. What’s that? Gas is $3.50 a gallon? Let the rivers be choked with crude oil and the carcasses of pelicans!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Man in Nantucket Edition)“President Biden traveled to Nantucket today for Thanksgiving, but only after Jill made him swear on the Bible: No limericks.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s how bad Thanksgiving traffic is — even the president has to leave two days early.” — JIMMY FALLON“Reminds me of the famous ‘There once was a man in Nantucket, whose poll numbers really did suck it.’ At least he is not that orange Pol Pot who ate all his meals from a bucket.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I have a feeling Biden’s the only person who says, ‘I once knew a man from Nantucket,’ and then tells an actual story about that man.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, once Biden left for Thanksgiving the Secret Service was like, ‘Human tryptophan is on the move.’” — JIMMY FALLON“When Biden asked Obama if Martha’s Vineyard would be nice for Thanksgiving, Obama was like, ‘Uh, you should check out Nantucket.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel challenged viewers to share the weirdest thing in their mother’s house, inspired by the mom of one of his band members who collects clown figurines.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightAndy Samberg will catch up with his friend Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutLady Gaga and Adam Driver in “House of Gucci.”Fabio Lovino/MGMRidley Scott’s “House of Gucci” mostly consists of “Guccis yelling at other Guccis.” More

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      Late Night Celebrates Biden’s 79th Birthday

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that when the president blew out his candles, “everyone started clapping and the lights went on and off.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Happy Birthday, Mr. PresidentLate Night belatedly celebrated President Biden’s 79th birthday, which took place over the weekend.“Biden spent his birthday in Wilmington, Delaware, and went to a 5 o’clock Mass. Man, does this guy know how to party or what?” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday night. “I mean, even Mike Pence was like, ‘Ever heard of Chuck E. Cheese?’”“Democrats call it a happy occasion, and Republicans call it proof that inflation is out of control.” — SETH MEYERS“To give you perspective on how old that is, Bill Clinton — remember him? The guy who was president almost 30 years ago? — he’s 75 now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But you can tell Biden’s 79 because, when he blew out his candles, everyone started clapping and the lights went on and off.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Healthy and Vigorous Male Edition)“Biden kicked off his birthday weekend with a colonoscopy. Doctors said there were no traces of malarkey. Everything looked good, or everything looked as good as the inside of an elderly man’s butt can look.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“White House physician Dr. Kevin O’Connor says Joe Biden is a ‘healthy and vigorous male.’ ‘Vigorous.’ Why does every presidential checkup sound like a Cialis ad? I mean we need them to run the country, not impregnate our women.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Glad he’s healthy, of course. Kind of hoping they’d find that he has that Benjamin Button disease — he’s actually getting younger every day.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Personally, I’m grateful that on Friday, history was made because Joe Biden temporarily transferred power to Vice President Kamala Harris while undergoing a routine colonoscopy, making Harris the first woman to assume presidential power. Yes, 100 years after women got the right to vote, we finally got the first female president on a technicality.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJames Corden makes the case for why massages are strange for people in committed relationships on Monday’s “Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightLady Gaga and Tony Bennett will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutAlva SkogTorrey Peters’s “Detransition, Baby” and Kiese Laymon’s “How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America” are among the 100 Notable Books of 2021. More

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      Late Night Takes on the U.S.-Mexico-Canada BBQ, or Summit

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      “I think it’s nice that we’re friendly with our neighbors again,” Kimmel said of Biden’s meeting with leaders of Canada and Mexico.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Gang’s All HerePresident Biden met with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada and President Andrés Manuel López Obrador of Mexico at the White House on Thursday to talk trade and other issues — in the return of meetings after a five-year hiatus during the Trump administration.“This is a traditional thing. It hasn’t been held since 2016 because — guess why?” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday night.“That’s right, when Trump was president, the regular meeting between the three leaders never happened. Now that it’s back, it’d be wild if the Mexican president was like, ‘Oh, and here’s a check for that wall.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I wish I could have seen Trump’s face when he found out Biden met with the president of Mexico at the White House. You know he was like: ‘Impossible! How’d he get through my wall? This doesn’t make any sense!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I think it’s nice that we’re friendly with our neighbors again. It’s like America’s abusive ex-boyfriend moved out, and we’re finally getting invited back to the barbecues in the neighborhood.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, the leaders spent time talking about immigration. Biden complained about the number of Mexicans coming to America; Trudeau complained about the number of Americans coming to Canada.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, basically, Mexico and Canada heard all of America blasting Adele and wanted to check in on us.” — JIMMY FALLON“They called it the ‘Three Amigos Summit,’ which is still better than what Biden wanted to call it, which was ‘Meeting La Vida Loca.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lose-Lose Situation Edition)“Meanwhile, Aaron Rodgers isn’t the only N.F.L. quarterback who’s been holding out. Joe Flacco, of the New York Jets, revealed that he, too, is unvaccinated. Flacco told the media he doesn’t want to get into his reasoning because it would be a distraction to the team, and the most important thing is to focus on going out there and losing football games right now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, the main difference between this and the Aaron Rodgers story is Aaron Rodgers led everyone to believe he was vaccinated, and, also, no one cares about Joe Flacco.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“New York Jets quarterback Joe Flacco announced at a press conference yesterday that he is not vaccinated against the coronavirus and said that he ‘has his reasons.’ I mean, he’s a backup quarterback on the Jets — I assume his reason is that he’s ready to die.”— SETH MEYERS“That’s right, New York Jets quarterback Joe Flacco announced he’s not vaccinated against the coronavirus. But don’t worry about his teammates — it’s rare for the Jets to catch anything.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJeff Goldblum sat down with Desus and Mero, and the actor ended up asking most of the questions.Also, Check This OutAlanis Morissette is the subject of the documentary “Jagged.”HBO/Music Box“Jagged” documents Alanis Morissette’s rise to fame with her hit 1995 album, “Jagged Little Pill.” More

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      Late Night Celebrates the QAnon Shaman’s 41-Month Prison Sentence

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      “That’s nearly three and a half years, so with good behavior, he could be out in time to storm the Capitol in 2024,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.ShamanticsJacob Chansley, better known as the QAnon Shaman, was sentenced to 41 months for his role in the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.“That’s nearly three and a half years, so with good behavior, he could be out in time to storm the Capitol in 2024,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday night.“He apologized for storming the Capitol and said he often looks in the mirror and tells himself, ‘You really messed up, royally.’ Maybe if he’d taken a look in the mirror sooner, he would have noticed he had a dead raccoon on his head.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Not only did Chansley commit the crime of looking like an idiot — he is one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Right now, he’s trying to use an antler to lift the keys off a guard’s belt.” — JIMMY FALLON“Apparently, it’s hard to find a jury of his peers the same day there’s a Renaissance fair.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Crypto Edition)“Starting Christmas Day, Staples Center will be known as Crypto.com Arena, which doesn’t sound creepy at all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Crypto, the most confusing thing a venue has been named since Houston’s The Plot of ‘Inception’ Stadium.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But a lot of people around here don’t like the new name at all. You know you’re in a weird spot when fans are like, ‘We have to go back to when it was named after an office supply chain!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a bad name, but thankfully, Crypto.com still isn’t the worst-named arena in sports. That honor belongs to the New Orleans Pelicans’ Smoothie King Center.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So, look for the Lakers to be up by 20, then back down by 40, then up by 10,000, then back to zero.” — SETH MEYERS“Generations of fans have grown up with the Staples Center. For my younger viewers, that name refers to the Staples office supply company. An office is something you used to go to for meetings, which are like very boring in-person emails. Oh, emails are long texts with more words, and words are faceless emojis that remind you you’re a relic of the past and the future no longer belongs to you. Go Cryptos!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not like Staples is a sacred name from the ancestors — it’s a store where you buy 50 packs of binders even though you only need one.” — TREVOR NOAH“True story, we almost called our youngest daughter Crypto.com. Crypto.com Corden. Crypto.com Jennifer Corden.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingDulcé Sloan looked into the history of historically Black college and university marching bands on Wednesday’s “The Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightHalle Berry will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show” to promote her new film, “Bruised.”Also, Check This OutAdele’s “30,” due Friday, is the follow-up to her blockbuster “25,” an album that sold nearly 3.4 million copies in a single week in the United States. Getty ImagesAdele’s first new album in six years faces a changing music industry, but she’s always been an exception to the rule. More

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      Late Night Shares Juicy Passages From 'Betrayal'

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      Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers reported some of the most interesting items from Jonathan Karl’s new book.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Best of ‘Betrayal’Jonathan Karl’s “Betrayal” was published on Tuesday, and late night shared a few of that book’s juicier items regarding former President Trump and Jan. 6, including some tidbits about Michael Flynn and his call for the military to stop Joe Biden from taking office.“Remember, this was a former general making a call to the military demanding they support a fascist coup. What is wrong with him? It’s 2021 — just text!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to a new book, former Acting Defense Secretary Christopher Miller purposely offered, then presented, Trump extreme military scenarios in the final week of his presidency to prevent him from choosing to attack Iran. Unfortunately, he opted for the craziest one — attacking the U.S.” — SETH MEYERS“After the election, [Sidney] Powell contacted a Pentagon official to push the claim that the C.I.A. director had been hurt and taken into custody in Germany while ‘on a secret mission to destroy evidence of voter fraud on a computer server that belonged to a company named Scytl.’ Where did Powell get this urgent news? From a false conspiracy theory that had been gaining steam among QAnon followers. Oh, yeah, that theory is definitely steaming.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Antique Roadshow Edition)“Yesterday, President Biden signed his bipartisan infrastructure bill into law, and to tell everyone about it today, he kicked off a road show to showcase the benefits of the bill. It’s like ‘The Antiques Road Show’ if the road was the antique.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And, guys, why do they have to sign the bill in public? I mean, I know this is important legislation, but as a spectator sport, it’s pretty boring. Where’s the drama? ‘Ooh, maybe the pen will run out of ink!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, why are they even having a bill-signing celebration? Passing laws is their job. Nobody else gets to do that at their job. Like, after you make photocopies for your boss at the office, you don’t get to pose for pictures while shaking hands: [imitating boss] ‘I didn’t think you could get it double-sided. Well done, Billy, well done.’” — TREVOR NOAH“During the signing ceremony yesterday for the bipartisan infrastructure bill, President Biden twice referred to Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema as ‘Kristen.’ And that’s the worst thing you can call her besides a Democrat — she hates that.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon showed off pets that pack suitcases and chug beers better than he can.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightAdam Driver, a “House of Gucci” star, will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutLisa Law/Apple TV+ Todd Haynes’s “The Velvet Underground” is a deep dive on the New York demimonde that birthed the band, and also a reflection on the cinema and art of the day. More

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      Seth Meyers: Steve Bannon Fancies Himself to Be Logan Roy

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      Meyers said Bannon was more like “a coked-up flunky who would get hired to help cousin Greg shred some documents and accidentally screw it up.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.More Like Cousin SteveSteve Bannon turned himself in to the F.B.I. on Monday morning after refusing to provide information related to the events of Jan. 6. Bannon made a statement in which he referred to himself as “Captain Bannon” and promoted his political podcast.Seth Meyers, referring to the hit HBO series “Succession,” joked that Bannon “definitely likes to think of himself as a Logan Roy type, but he’s more like a coked-up flunky who would get hired to help cousin Greg shred some documents and accidentally screw it up.”“Right now, a congressional committee is trying to determine if President Trump and allies were involved in the violent attempt to overturn the election, and one of the people they most want to hear from is Steve Bannon, former Trump adviser and the only person who maybe should try horse dewormer. I mean, it couldn’t hurt.” — TREVOR NOAH“Steve Bannon might finally face justice and, if he goes to prison, take a shower.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Bannon was indicted Friday on two charges of criminal contempt after he refused to show up for a deposition ordered by the House Jan. 6 committee. When he turned himself in, the F.B.I. were like, ‘Oh, really, do we have to? We have to take him?’” — JAMES CORDEN“And like any innocent person, Trump told his people not to cooperate with law enforcement at all. So Bannon defied a congressional subpoena to testify, and this morning, he turned himself in, arriving at an F.B.I. office looking like he’d already served 10 years in prison.” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, it really undercuts your attempt at defiance and bravado when there’s a guy right behind you holding up a sign that says ‘Coup plotter.’” — SETH MEYERS“Steve, did you hear what he said about you the second it was convenient? Respect yourself and move on!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump’s disparaging comments about Bannon“Bannon, though, already has a plan if he does get sent to prison. His first day there he is just going to go up to the biggest, meanest, worst guy in the entire yard and help him get elected president in 2024.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (The P Word Edition)“Wow, Trump is gangster. [imitating Trump] ‘Why would I dispute it? The guy is a total [expletive] — why would I dispute it?’” — TREVOR NOAH, on Trump’s refusal to dispute that he told Mike Pence he “could be a patriot or he could be a [expletive]” on the morning of Jan. 6“Well, we all know the word for someone who does exactly what their bully tells them to do: patriot.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know what I love about Trump is that even if he didn’t say it, he’s the type of guy that would pretend he said it just because it sounded cool. [imitating Trump] ‘Yeah, yeah, that’s a good line. I totally said it, I said it. Patriot or [expletive], I love it.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, I love how the reporter says, ‘Excuse my language; excuse my language, sir,’ as if Donald Trump is going to be offended. My man, it’s Donald Trump — if anything, he would be like, [imitating Trump] ‘[Expletive], my favorite topic. Thank you for bringing this up, let’s talk about it.” — TREVOR NOAH“Sometimes it’s good to be a [expletive]. Oftentimes history is made by [expletive]. I mean Gandhi? total [expletive]. Yes. Britain was, like, ‘Are you going to fight us or are you a [expletive]? And Gandhi said, ‘I am a [expletive]. You must be the [expletive] you wish to see in the world — that is what we need more of.’” — TREVOR NOAH“What if he tried to grab Mike Pence by the patriot?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Mike Pence now claims he has no problems at all with his former boss, so I guess Trump was right.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingBill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson talked with Jimmy Fallon on Monday’s “Tonight Show” about reuniting for the newest movie in the “Ghostbusters” franchise.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe retired N.B.A. star Dwyane Wade will talk about his new memoir on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “The Sex Lives of College Girls,” Alyah Chanelle Scott, Pauline Chalamet and Amrit Kaur play three suite mates from diverse backgrounds at a prestigious university.HBOMindy Kaling’s new HBO Max series, “The Sex Lives of College Girls,” treats undergraduate intimacy with the friendly skepticism it deserves. More

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      Prison Won’t Be a Riot for the QAnon Shaman, Jimmy Kimmel Says

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      “Prosecutors are recommending 51 months behind bars, after which, he will be remanded into the custody of ‘Dancing With the Stars,’” Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Dancing With the InsurrectionistOn Thursday night, Jimmy Kimmel joked that Jacob Chansley, “the infamous insurrectionist” known as the QAnon Shaman who took part in the Capitol attack on Jan. 6, “is probably not gonna be storming anything any time soon.”This week, prosecutors suggested that Chansley be sentenced to more than four years in prison for his role in the incursion, which would be the most severe punishment yet for a participant.“Prosecutors are recommending 51 months behind bars, after which he will be remanded into the custody of ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Weird to think the QAnon Shaman could get four years in prison when the guy who encouraged him to do it could get four more years in the White House.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And also, can we stop calling him a shaman now? I mean, that would make half the fans at the Buffalo Bills game shamans too.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I support a four-year prison sentence for any adult wearing a costume.” — JAMES CORDEN“They’re asking for three years for the riot, and an extra year because he used to be in an improv group.” — JAMES CORDEN“He may be going to prison for years. Even worse, they’re also making a movie about all of this: ‘The Shaman-Shank Redemption.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Thank You for Your Service Edition)“It is Veterans Day here in the United States, the day on which we honor the men and women who served and fought in wars to defend our country so the rest of us can fight on Facebook.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The closest most of us have come to a war zone is shopping on Black Friday at T.J. Maxx.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yup, the only people who have seen more combat than you guys are flight attendants on Southwest.” — JIMMY FALLON“I remember telling my dad that I thought a life in uniform might be right for me, so he went out and got me a job application for Pizza Hut.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Daily Show” correspondent Desi Lydic put the spotlight on female veterans throughout “hist-HER-y.”Also, Check This OutJulia Child and a fridge friend in an archival image, as seen in the documentary “Julia,” directed by Julie Cohen and Betsy West. Paul Child/Schlesinger Library, Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University/Sony Pictures ClassicsA new documentary about Julia Child explores her influence on how Americans cook and eat. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Biden Is Steady but Slow, Like ‘Grandpa at the Wheel’

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      “He’ll get us there, it’ll just happen very slowly with the blinker on the whole ride,” Kimmel joked of the president and his 38 percent approval rating.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.How Low Can He Go?A new poll found President Biden’s approval rating is at 38 percent.“That was before Congress passed the infrastructure bill, though,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Tuesday night. “And if anything can get the American people fired up, it’s infrastructure.”“We’re also not even a year into his presidency, Joe Biden. Don’t worry, he’s like Grandpa at the wheel. He’ll get us there, it’ll just happen very slowly with the blinker on the whole ride.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The poll did have one bit of good news for Biden: He’s not Kamala Harris.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Kamala Harris has an approval rating of 28 percent, which is — makes no sense, because she basically has nothing to do. I mean, it’s like criticizing a backup quarterback: ‘Tom Brady is OK — I don’t love the way Blaine Gabbert has his legs folded on the bench.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Kamala’s approval rating of 28 percent is even lower than the 30 percent who approved of Dick Cheney in 2008 after he shot a guy in the face.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Joe Biden] Thirty-eight percent ain’t so bad, Jack. Why, I remember when 38 was the highest percent that existed. Then ol’ Patty Numberton came out and said, ‘Hey, fellas, what about 39?’ We all said, ‘That’s the greatest idea since sliced bread.’ Then we all went, ‘Yeah, why don’t we start slicin’ bread? I’m tired of choking on a loaf! No, I’m serious, folks.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“There’s only one president in the history of polling whose approval rating was worse than Biden’s at this point. You want to guess which president it was? I’ll give you a hint — his name rhymes with ‘garbage dump.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Responsible Parties Edition)“The congressional committee investigating the Capitol riot issued subpoenas today for 10 of Donald Corleone’s associates.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The big headline is that the Jan. 6 committee has issued six subpoenas to the ex-president’s top campaign associates, a collection of powerful dumb-dumbs who helped orchestrate the last-ditch efforts to steal the election, a high-stakes, low-I.Q. heist on democracy, starring pardoned criminal Michael Flynn, a.k.a. General Grumpypants. Pardoned criminal Bernie Kerik: the Scalp. Disgraced lawyer John Eastman: the Accessorizer. Campaign manager Bill Stepien: Bland Master Flash. Executive assistant Angela McCallum: the Spare Tiffany. And senior campaign adviser Jason Miller as the Honey Trap. — STEPHEN COLBERT“In the days leading up to Jan. 6, these Traitor Joes were plotting how to throw out election results, huddled together in a set of rooms and suites in the posh Willard Hotel in downtown D.C. Their room bar tab must’ve been huge. It’s, like, 20 bucks a pop for those mini Molotov cocktails.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, just to be clear, a subpoena doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong — although in this case, it absolutely means you did something wrong.” — JAMES CORDEN“We’re so close to figuring out who’s responsible for this. What a mystery.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert auditioned Paul Rudd for People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightWill Ferrell returns to “The Tonight Show” on Wednesday night.Also, Check This OutObservations of how people interact when they think no one is watching recur in Courtney Barnett’s songs.OK McCausland for The New York TimesCourtney Barnett’s third album is a study of both the simple certainties of life and the big thing that comes after. More