“This isn’t the kind of thing you would lie about,” Lydic said. “It’s not like sex with a porn star while your wife is pregnant.”
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Salty Behavior
At a rally this week, former President Donald Trump continued to question Vice President Kamala Harris’s experience of working at a McDonald’s in her youth.
Desi Lydic called it “ridiculous that Trump is asking to see Kamala’s burger certificate.”
“This isn’t the kind of thing you would lie about. It’s not like sex with a porn star while your wife is pregnant.” — DESI LYDIC
“But look, I get why he’s suspicious — if she had ever worked at any McDonald’s between the years 1960 and last week, he probably would have seen her. Or maybe this whole thing is just a ploy for him to get free food: ‘You worked at McDonald’s? Prove it. Make me seven Big Macs!’” — DESI LYDIC
“So, Trump’s new conspiracy theory is that Kamala Harris never worked at McDonald’s when she was young, which to him is basically stolen valor: ‘How dare you disrespect our men and women in uniform. Those people served with honor and with extra ketchup packets if you ask.’” — DESI LYDIC
“At the same rally, Trump also claimed that Vice President Kamala Harris lied about working at a McDonald’s and said that he would go to the restaurant chain in the next two weeks to see, ‘what her job really wasn’t like.’ And even — even if she can provide proof that she worked there — he’s still probably going to go to McDonald’s in the next two weeks.” — SETH MEYERS
“Did Trump just talk himself into getting hungry? ‘She never worked over the piping hot fries, so crispy and salty, each bite a perfect — we should go to McDonald’s. Let’s go to McDonald’s.’” — DESI LYDIC
The Punchiest Punchlines (Golden Guys Edition)
“Tonight was the second episode of ‘The Golden Bachelorette.’ It was pretty slow. The first hour was just the remaining guys in the house watching the new ‘Matlock’ reboot.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Tonight, the golden guys had to decide who’d sleep on the top bunk, which was not as easy as it sounds. Some of them snore, some of them have bad knees, one of them sleeps naked, and they all wake up a lot of times to go pee. So there a lot of logistics going into putting five guys in one bedroom. They’re lined up outside the men’s room like it’s a Lakers game at 4 a.m.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
