Trevor Noah joked that owning Twitter would give Musk “more power than the drugstore employee with the key to the deodorant shelf.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Elon Musk Is Verifiable
After initially being denied, Elon Musk reached a deal to buy Twitter on Monday for roughly $44 billion.
“It’s the hottest and messiest relationship drama this side of ‘Riverdale,’ and it looks like after weeks of flirtation and fighting, the new couple has officially done the deed,” Trevor Noah joked on Monday’s “Daily Show.”
“That’s right, people. Twitter said it would never sell to Elon Musk, and then he produced the cash and they’re like, ‘All right, we’ll sell.’ Yeah, I guess they found that edit button after all.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I honestly don’t know why Elon would want to own Twitter, all right? It just doesn’t feel like a fun place to supervise. It’s like buying Jurassic Park after the power went down and the cages are open.” — TREVOR NOAH
“So you see, by buying Twitter, Elon Music gets to own one of the most culturally influential publishing platforms in the world. I mean, remember this; think about it: Twitter is how the Arab Spring took off, all right? Black Lives Matter blew up on Twitter, the Me Too movement started on Twitter, Trump used Twitter to turn himself from a reality show joke into the 45th president of the United States and a joke. So owning Twitter gives you more power than the drugstore employee with the key to the deodorant shelf.” — TREVOR NOAH
“He said he wants to transform Twitter as a platform for free speech around the globe. Yeah, that’s the problem with Twitter — no one can say what they think. They’re holding back.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Twitter’s an odd thing to buy, you know? It’s like buying YouTube and saying, ‘Forget the videos — I’m just here for the mean comments.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s right, the richest man in the world bought Twitter. Right now Bernie Sanders is so mad he just turned into the Hulk.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Imagine having so much money that you think it’s a good idea to buy hell.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Yeah, everything that happens on Twitter from now on is up to him — and also whatever strain his weed guy gives him that day. I’m just saying: He gets the wrong Sativa, there could be a race war, people; prepare yourselves.” — TREVOR NOAH
“He sees something impossible and he makes it happen: building the most sought-after electric car, blasting off into outer space and, now, somehow making Twitter even worse.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Punchiest Punchlines (Whose Truth? Edition)
“Yeah, Musk has said that he’s pro-free speech, so a lot of people think that he’ll let former President Trump back on the platform. Yeah, not exactly what we meant when we asked for a return to prepandemic vibes.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The caps lock key on Trump’s phone was like, ‘I’m back, baby.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“But listen to this, today Trump told Fox News that he will not return to Twitter and will instead join his own platform, Truth Social. Wait, so not even Trump is on Truth Social yet?” — JIMMY FALLON
“He’s not on his own app? If you’re keeping track, Twitter and Truth Social are like the Four Seasons and Four Seasons Total Landscaping.” — JIMMY FALLON
“That is the name of his latest failure. Trump lies so much he can’t even say the word ‘truth.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Bill Hader, star of “Barry,” told Jimmy Kimmel how his young daughter pranked him in public in front of Chris Pratt.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Elisabeth Moss will talk about her new Apple TV+ series, “Shining Girls,” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The celebrated author Alice Walker opens up to readers with “Gathering Blossoms Under Fire,” a collection of her diaries spanning 1965 to 2000.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
