Jimmy Kimmel said the scandal-ridden ex-congressman’s withdrawal was “exciting news for Judge Jeanine Pirro, who will be our next attorney general.”
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A Distraction From the Distractions
Matt Gaetz, who was President-elect Donald J. Trump’s choice for attorney general despite allegations that he’d used drugs and had sex with a 17-year-old, withdrew his name from consideration on Thursday.
Jimmy Kimmel said the ex-congressman from Florida had “crawled back under the rock of cocaine he scurried out from under.”
“He said he decided to take his MAGA hat out of the ring because his nomination was becoming a distraction to the critical work of the Trump/Vance transition. Which is true: President-elect Trump should not be distracted from his critical work of creating other distractions.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Gaetz said he was honored that Trump nominated him, and he looks forward to spending more time posing as a high school senior on the Roblox Reddit page.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“See, the thing is, Trump did this wrong. He did it in the wrong order. First, you nominate Diddy for attorney general, then Matt Gaetz.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“This Gaetz situation is a setback for Trump, but it’ll all be forgotten as soon as he nominates new surgeon general Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“All of this attention on this sex criminal was unfairly distracting from the critical work of all the other sex criminals who have been nominated.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And while this is sad news for Gaetz and his fans, it is potentially very exciting news for Judge Jeanine Pirro, who will be our next attorney general.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Poor Rudy Giuliani. He has to be on the twin bed in the office his son converted into a guest room right now, going, ‘What about me?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Withdrawal Edition)
“Former Florida congressman Matt Gaetz withdrew today as President-elect Trump’s nominee for attorney general. This puts a lot of pressure on Trump, because now there’s not much time to find somebody worse.” — SETH MEYERS
“Matt Gaetz is out? But his nomination was only eight days old! Once again, he can’t even make it to 18.” — SETH MEYERS
“If you’ve ever dreamed of being an attorney general, update your résumé, because they have an opening.” — DESI LYDIC
The Bits Worth Watching
Gwyneth Paltrow and DJ Khaled played a game of “True Confessions” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Rachel Elizabeth Seed’s new documentary, “A Photographic Memory,” weaves meditations on memory and the nature of photography with a personal narrative about her mother, a photographer who died when she was 18 months old.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
