The biggest tour of the year is nearly upon us, but I, for one, will not be attending. Oasis may be returning to the stage next month, but anyone who bought a ticket to the Gallagher brothers’ reunion is a wally. The editors won’t let me use a stronger word than that, but take it as inferred.
The cost of living crisis means getting bang for your buck is the best thing you can do when wanting to treat yourself. Can the reunion of Liam and Noel Gallagher be better than a weekend trip to Prague, or 450 chocolate Freddos? You’ll be sick on yourself, covered in someone else’s urine and not remember much of the night should you head to an Oasis gig. If it’s that or hundreds of sugary anthropomorphised frogs, I know what I’m choosing.
Tickets for Oasis’ ‘Live ’25’ shows were initially advertised at £135 per person (giving rise to our Cadbury-based mathematics) but soon skyrocketed to £350. Resale tickets are even higher as fans try and flog their premium seats for upwards of £500. Good on them, I say – they’re in for a lucky escape.
(Image: Getty)
It’s better late than never to realise that an Oasis reunion is exactly what fans want. Therein lies the problem. Price is not the only issue for the Oasis gigs.
The group has ruled out new material for this tour, and there are suggestions this may be the only tour the Gallagher brothers carry out.
It means an inevitably dull set featuring Stand By Me from the Halifax advert, Wonderwall from every Manchester-based BBQ, and a cover of The Beatles. They’ve ripped them off enough times, it’s only fair to wheel out I Am the Walrus once more.
These shows are crowd-pleasers, that much is more than fair. But for the dedicated fan or even the passing listener, it is fairly easy to guess what will appear on the setlist. There are few surprises to come from a stage show pairing two musicians who, in my humble opinion, have done little of interest since 1996.
Oasis’ peers are still touring and offering audiences more than a nostalgia trip. Britpop (a dirty word used as a knock at America’s grunge scene) is having a resurgence. Blur reformed in 2023 and offered a hits-laden set alongside more intimate gigs and a new album.
Pulp, too, are giving fans more with the aptly-titled new album, More, weaving its way into a nearly three-hour spectacle. Tickets to see the Common People hitmakers are half the price the Gallagher brothers’ tour initially fetched, before dynamic pricing saw costs rise.
(Image: Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone via Getty Images)
If you ask me, those who do have tickets may wish to reconsider. Not just because the eye-watering sum of money spent on said ticket can be used better (burnt, shredded, etc), but because the gigs themselves promise to be a nightmare.
Gig etiquette is a thing of the past at even the calmest of shows these days –trust me, I’ve been to my fair share. How a rowdy crowd on a rainy night in London’s Wembley Stadium will be is anyone’s guess.
Liam Gallagher apologised on previous solo tours for cups of urine being launched at fans trying to lend an ear to the nuance of Roll With It. “I’d like to apologise to the guy who had wee thrown over him at the Cardiff gig,” Gallagher wrote on X back in 2019.
He offered no apology for the music. Listening to Be Here Now is arguably a worse experience than getting the tube covered in urine. Keep telling yourself it’s beer, it’ll make the encore easier on you. Wally.
Those condolences from Gallagher may need to be revived once more as I reckon the Oasis tour, which kicks off in Cardiff on July 4, is bound to be a wash.
Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
