Late Night Takes Shots at Trump’s Liquor Tariff Threat

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Sobering Thoughts

On Thursday, President Trump threatened to impose a 200 percent tariff on wine, champagne and spirits imported from Europe.

Jimmy Kimmel pointed to the irony of Trump “making it very expensive to get drunk. He’s the reason we need to get drunk!”

“Yeah, a 200 percent tariff on champagne and wine. Americans heard and were, like, ‘You can do whatever you want with wine; just don’t mess with our gummies.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s a lot — almost enough to make you feel bad for people who buy champagne and wine.” — JIMMY FALLON

“People buying champagne and wine were, like, ‘What’s next, caviar and truffles?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“The E.U. said, ‘Oh, yeah? We’re going to put a 50 percent tariff on boats, bourbon and motorbikes from the United States,’ which is interesting because boats, bourbon and motorbikes — they’re specifically targeting Kid Rock for some reason.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“That is going to make it so much harder for European men to have a midlife crisis. You can’t outrun your mortality on a Vespa!” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Trump’s playing a dangerous game. Nobody wants to attend a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and cheese party, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON

“So get ready to toast the next New Year’s with America’s finest sparkling beverage, Champagne Code Red.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (Wheels Off Edition)

“Tesla owners are facing backlash everywhere they go. Recently, somebody stole the wheels from every single Tesla in a Texas parking lot. Whoever did it, I do not condone this, but I do appreciate your ‘tire-less’ efforts.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Now, I want to be clear: I do not condone violence or vandalism of any kind. That is a deeply held belief of mine that comes from the bottom of my CBS legal department.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“With that in mind, I find it interesting that there’s a growing trend of Cybertrucks being vandalized and used as skate ramps or covered in garbage. To be fair, that might not be vandalism; that might just be a simple mistake, because they do look a lot like a dumpster.” — STEPHEN COLBERT