Jimmy Kimmel called the former president “our own Triple Clown winner” in his monologue about a drug scandal involving the Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Triple Clown Winner’
This year’s Kentucky Derby-winning horse, Medina Spirit, tested positive for steroids over the weekend. Donald Trump took to his blog to weigh in with a statement in which he referred to the horse as a “junkie.”
Jimmy Kimmel called the former president “our own Triple Clown winner” in his Monday night monologue.
“What is he talking about? Does he think the horse tested positive for Antifa?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And honestly, if he’s going to start picking fights with horses, we should let him back on Twitter, because I want to see that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I just can’t stop laughing at the image of him at his desk writing about his thoughts about a horse by hand.” — JIMMY FALLON
“This was an official statement from the former president calling a horse a ‘junkie,’ as if it bought the drugs itself in some back alley, like it only got caught cause the horse’s parents found it in a shoe box under its bed — its stable?” — SETH MEYERS
“It is weird, though, to put this on the horse, right? I mean it’s not like the horse wants to take drugs or train all day or race around the track getting slapped on the ass — it’s a horse. It wants to do what horses want to do: D.J.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Yo, guys, I still can’t believe this guy was president. I mean this man is a legend. What other ex-president spends their time roasting horses?” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Straight from the Horse’s Mouth Edition)
“Medina Spirit tested positive for elevated levels of Betamethasone, or as it’s called on the street, ‘the devil’s oats,’ ‘happy apples,’ ‘horse horse.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“When he heard that, the horse is like, ‘Hey, you said that needle was the third Pfizer vaccine.” — JIMMY FALLON
“On the bright side, the horse has no idea what’s going on. He didn’t even know he was in a race, because he’s a horse.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Race organizers became suspicious when the horse kept telling people about his screenplay, and then going, ‘God, don’t you just want to dance?’” — JAMES CORDEN
“And the horse claimed it was just holding it for a friend.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Right now the horse is thinking, ‘As long as I’m being put out to stud, this sounds more like a you problem.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“As if things weren’t bad enough for Medina Spirit, a photo just surfaced of him partying with Jeffrey Epstein.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, his racing days may be over, but on the bright side, he just joined the Russian gymnastics team.” — JIMMY FALLON
“This is the most high-profile animal drug scandal since the winner of last year’s Westminster dog show, Heisenberg.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The W.N.B.A. player Candace Parker talked with Trevor Noah about returning to Chicago, where she grew up, to play for the Sky after 13 years with the Los Angeles Sparks.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The author, activist and political leader Stacey Abrams will talk about her new novel on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”
Also, Check This Out
Lolly Adefope, the star of “Shrill,” is looking to play new, different kinds of roles that aren’t based in stereotypes.
Source: Television - nytimes.com