Seth Meyers said that living in a world with the Republican congresswoman’s “insane” screaming was “like trying to have a conversation with a friend on the street next to a jackhammer.”
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Five Strikes and You’re Out
Majorie Taylor Greene, the Republican congresswoman from Georgia, was permanently kicked off Twitter on Sunday for violating a policy against spreading misinformation about the coronavirus.
On Monday’s “Late Night,” Seth Meyers pointed out how Greene had repeatedly lied about vaccines and called for a “national divorce.” “Which is, I guess, the sequel to ‘National Velvet’?” Meyers joked.
“How would a national divorce even work? Who would get the White House? Who would pay alimony? Who would get custody of Eric? It would probably just be the two sides pushing him back and forth: ‘He’s a Republican, so he should go with you.’ ‘But he’s a New Yorker, so he should go with you!’” — SETH MEYERS
“Looks like you finally got that divorce you wanted.” — SETH MEYERS
“And regardless of how you feel about the ethics of kicking politicians off Twitter, it’s just a huge quality-of-life improvement. Like when Trump got kicked off Twitter. Trying to live in a world where people like Trump and Greene are constantly screaming insane [expletive] on Twitter is like trying to have a conversation with a friend on the street next to a jackhammer.” — SETH MEYERS
“Now to spread the word about Jewish space lasers, she’ll have to use Mormon carrier pigeons.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“They only banned her personal account, not her congressional account, which is also known as her crazy-lite account.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Greene had been temporarily suspended in the past for spreading Covid misinformation, but her latest online lie violated Twitter’s five-strike policy. Yes, five strikes. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you only get two more foolins’ after that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“On the bright side, she is still a full-fledged member of the United States Congress.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Punchiest Punchlines (C.D.C. Edition)
“Meanwhile, the C.D.C. has cut their recommended isolation time in half, and now it says you only need to quarantine for five days. Yeah, a lot of Covid regulations keep changing the longer the pandemic goes on. For example, back then, doctors said to cough directly into your elbow; now, doctors say just have fun out there.” — JIMMY FALLON
“They added that today is basically over, so it’s really four days. Plus, Sundays don’t count, so three day — you know what? Just take the weekend.” — SETH MEYERS
“They also said you can swim right after you eat, breaking a mirror only gives you four years bad luck, and stepping on a crack won’t break your mother’s back; her back will just be very disappointed.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Then the C.D.C. said to avoid large indoor gatherings. Now the C.D.C. says parties are fine as long as you set up a smaller ‘tested positive’ table.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Also, back then you had to wash your hands for as long as it takes to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ twice. But now, you can sing it at the speed Applebee’s employees do when you can tell they’re not really into it.” — JIMMY FALLON
“And, finally, back then they said to avoid misinformation by staying off the internet, but now the internet is where you live now — it is your home.” — JIMMY FALLON
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
