The YouTube personality called Kimmel out for referring to him as one of the worst people in the world — alongside Donald Trump.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘I’ll Introduce You to Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’
The YouTube personality Logan Paul called out Jimmy Kimmel this week for referring to him and Donald Trump as “the very worst people in the world” during a recent broadcast. Kimmel apologized on Thursday night to Paul, who affectionately referred to him as “J.K.” during his complaint and said he’d opened up to Kimmel about missing a testicle.
“Oh, come on now. Had I known you fondly called me ‘J.K.’ I never would have said any of that stuff,” Kimmel said.
“I’m sorry, L.P. I hope we can be bros again, dude. I really do, and I’m sorry about your testicle. I forgot about that. You know what? To make up for it, I’m gonna give you one of my testicles. Or, wait a minute — I just thought of something. Maybe I’ll introduce you to Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend. This guy, he’s got more testicle than he knows what to do with.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (SpaceX Edition)
“Last night, SpaceX made history when it launched the first all-tourist crew into orbit. Sadly, one of them forgot to tell Verizon he’s traveling, so now he’s up there like, ‘Damn it, I’ve been roaming this whole time.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“This is the first orbital mission in the history of spaceflight staffed entirely by nonprofessionals. No one on board is an astronaut; none of them have any training. One of them is a geologist. So if there’s an emergency, they’ll at least know what kind of rock they’re gonna crash into.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“These are the four winners of the golden ticket. They include a billionaire, a cancer survivor, a geologist and a raffle winner. All they’re missing is the professor and Mary Ann.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“[Imitating SpaceX passenger] Houston, we have a problem, but I have no idea what the problem is, since I own a chain of laundromats. I have already cleaned the lint trap. I’m gonna try putting in more quarters.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Imagine that — going on a rocket, no one on board is qualified to fly? It’s like if Spirit Airlines went to space.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“By the way, if you’re not real astronauts, I feel like you shouldn’t get to pose like the crew from Apollo 13.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But you have to love humans — we just launched four civilians into orbit on a recreational spaceflight. We’re still more interested in uncovering the mystery of Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
