Late Night Laughs Off Trump’s Saying Hosts Have Zero Talent

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

At Least He’s Consistent

In an interview published Tuesday, President Trump told The New York Post that he would most likely skip this year’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, reciting his usual complaints about unfair treatment from the press. He singled out the 2011 host, Seth Meyers, calling him “a no-talent comic” and “nasty,” before saying that both Meyers and Stephen Colbert, host of “The Late Show,” are unfunny.

Trump followed with a tweet praising the Fox News host Greg Gutfeld and taking a swipe at Colbert, Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. A few of the hosts responded to the president in their Tuesday night monologues.

“Well, I can’t speak for Seth. He’s very talented, but I’m an idiot, and the only reason I have a job is because I married the daughter of Donald CBS, and for some reason, he keeps putting me in charge of everything.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“It’s nice to know that Trump is staying laser-focused on the ball during a crisis.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“‘Wacko last placer.’ I hope he wasn’t talking about me. I think maybe this was another typo situation. I think what he meant to tweet was, ‘I am completely devastated by the loss of life caused by this insidious virus. My thoughts are with the families of those who have passed. I pledge to spend every waking moment working to make sure our medical workers have the support they need and every American has access to tests. p.s. Congrats to Greg Gutfeld!’ That’s better, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“He does seem to be familiar with all the late-night shows. I’ve heard that if you snort enough Adderall, you can watch four of them at once.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

‘Live and Let Die’

Trump also visited a Honeywell mask factory on Tuesday, where he declined to wear a mask despite signs on the walls asking everyone to do so.

“No, he did not. And I love that they didn’t turn the volume on the Guns N’ Roses down even one notch for the president. I can think of no better metaphor for this presidency than Donald Trump not wearing a face mask to a face mask factory while the song ‘Live and Let Die’ blares in the background.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Well, of course you wouldn’t want to wear a mask somewhere stupid like a hospital. [as Trump] I’ll only wear a mask if it’s a mask facility, same way I only eat cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory, and I only take a bath at Bed Bath & Beyond.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (Cinco de Mayo Edition)

“Today is also Cinco de Mayo. And if you’re trying to celebrate at home, here’s your quarantine Cinco de Mayo tip of the day: Any bread can be a tortilla if you use a hammer.” — TREVOR NOAH

“So have fun celebrating Cinco de Mayo today, but don’t forget: You may be at home, but guac is still extra.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Happy most boring Cinco de Mayo ever. Tú usted. I don’t know about you, but it don’t feel like a Cinco de Mayo to me unless I’m in a Tecate tank top getting thrown out of a Senor Frog’s.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Cinco de Mayo is really handy this year, because it’s the first time I’ve been sure of the date in two months. Thanks to Cinco de Mayo, I know it’s the cinco of Mayo.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“But this tweet I posted last Cinco de Mayo has not aged well: ‘Happy Cinco de Mayo 2019! I can’t wait to go to a crowded bar and get some Corona in me!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Jimmy Fallon dedicated a new song to educators for Teacher Appreciation Day and Week.

What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night

Robert DeNiro will prove he knows how to use video chat when he’s a guest on “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” on Wednesday.

Also, Check This Out

Beanie Feldstein, star of “How to Build a Girl,” shares her love of “Gilmore Girls,” Stephen Sondheim musicals and Linda, the Bra Lady, in this week’s My Ten.