Jimmy Kimmel said conservatives like Ted Cruz have some bizarre beliefs: “The elections are rigged, the deep state runs the world, and Big Bird is working for Merck now.”
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Birds of a Feather
Late night couldn’t get enough of Ted Cruz claiming Big Bird was spreading “government propaganda for your 5-year-old” over the weekend. Cruz angrily shared his response in a retweet of Big Bird’s announcement about receiving a Covid vaccine.
Jimmy Kimmel said conservatives like Cruz truly believe sentiments like the one he shared: “The elections are rigged, the deep state runs the world, and Big Bird is working for Merck now.”
“All right, first of all, Ted Cruz, you need to calm down. Five-year-olds aren’t even seeing Big Bird’s tweet. Five-year-olds aren’t even on Twitter — they’re on TikTok.” — TREVOR NOAH
“This is the craziest anti-vax Muppet outrage since they claimed Pfizer gave the Swedish Chef giant meatballs.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And it’s interesting because not only is Ted Cruz vaccinated himself, Ted Cruz was born with an immunity that protects him from contracting any friends.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I’m surprised Cruz is at odds with Big Bird here. They have so much in common: When it gets cold, they both fly south.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Ted Cruz has it in for ‘Sesame Street’ because he’s constantly getting mistaken for the Count.” — JAMES CORDEN
“I have to admit it’s a tough one. I mean, who are you siding with, the beloved and iconic children’s character widely celebrated over a half a century by people of all ages and backgrounds from all parts of the world, or a widely disliked wannabe werewolf with the charm of a serial killer and the voice of a dying barn owl who was once called ‘Lucifer in the flesh’ by one of his fellow Republicans after another fellow Republican joked he was so unpopular you could murder him and get away with it.” — SETH MEYERS
“It’s a big day, actually, for Big Bird because immediately after getting vaccinated, he was signed by the Green Bay Packers.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Spotty Defense Edition)
“The pope of Green Bay is quarterback Aaron Rodgers. He’s been playing some very spotty defense this weekend.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He said he tested negative over 300 times before testing positive, which is the same kind of logic your 95-year-old grandmother uses to justify keeping her driver’s license.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So Rodgers basically says that he’s an independent thinker who doesn’t want to be told what to do with his body. And I don’t know, you ever notice how all the independent thinkers are doing the exact same thing? Right? It’s not like they’re all coming up with different ideas, like, ‘I’m an independent thinker, what are my thoughts, Joe Rogan? Tell me about my independent thoughts!” — TREVOR NOAH
“But you can tell how politics has just infected the entire vaccine debate, right, because you’ll never see Aaron Rodgers doing this to anything else. He’s never applying independent thinking to the rest of his body. Like just once I’d love to see him out there on the field, like, ‘Forget pads and helmets, I’ve decided to cover myself in manuka honey.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“How does someone who almost hosted ‘Jeopardy’ come up with 40 incorrect responses in a row?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A lot of people are also comparing Aaron Rodgers to Kyrie Irving, and that’s not fair. Kyrie Irving is wrong, but at least he’s honest. I mean, Aaron Rodgers let everyone around him think he was vaccinated when he wasn’t. He’s not Kyrie Irving, he’s Bernie Madoff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But there are real victims here. And yes, I’m talking about those of us who play fantasy sports. Because it used to be when you drafted players you only had to take into account their injury history or their team’s off-season moves. Now — now you’ve got to be like, ‘OK, what are the chances that this player gets his news from Facebook?’” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Trevor Noah talked with the “Daily Show” guest Spike Lee about his new career-spanning book, “SPIKE.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Sarah Silverman will catch up with Seth Meyers on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”
Also, Check This Out
Tracey Deer’s film “Beans” is based on her experiences during the 1990 Oka crisis, a confrontation between the Mohawk people and the government.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
