“Yes, he is a stain on our history, and thanks to these hearings, we know that stain is ketchup,” Stephen Colbert said of Donald Trump.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
The Insurrection Will Be Televised
The lengthy Jan. 6 hearing on Thursday night highlighted former President Donald Trump’s lack of attempts to stop the insurrection on the Capitol, instead choosing to watch Fox News in the White House dining room.
“He chose not to act. Same review he got for ‘Home Alone 2,’” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday’s live edition of “Late Night.”
“He did not call them from a box. He did not call while watching Fox. He did not help out Uncle Sam. His brain is made of eggs and ham. But, in his defense, it is possible he forgot the number for 9-1-1.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on news that Trump didn’t reach out to any security officials on Jan. 6
“Yes, he is a stain on our history — and thanks to these hearings, we know that stain is ketchup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Representative Adam Kinzinger’s referring to Trump’s inaction as “a stain” on our history
“So, all in all, it was a long night — almost three hours — but it wasn’t nearly as long as the 187 minutes where the former president did nothing to stop an ongoing insurrection that he created and then watched it all in glee as it played out on TV. Let’s just hope some of his followers were watching this tonight.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (‘Positive’ News for Biden Edition)
“The White House announced that President Biden has a mild case of Covid. On the bright side, it’s the first positive news Biden’s gotten in months.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Now of course, the big story today is that President Biden tested positive for Covid, but according to the White House, Biden is feeling pretty good for a 300-year-old man.” — RUPAUL, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”
“President Biden tested positive today for the coronavirus. Luckily, we’ve all been keeping our distance.” — SETH MEYERS
“Joe said his symptoms are mild, and he’ll be back to falling off his bike in no time.” — RUPAUL
“Get well soon, sir. You made it through the Spanish flu; you can make it through this.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Biden hasn’t been this sick since the time he got scurvy on Noah’s Ark.” — RUPAUL
“That’s right, Covid isn’t going to slow Joe Biden down because he can’t get any slower.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon announced his book club’s latest selection on Thursday’s “Tonight Show”: “Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow,” by Gabrielle Zevin.
Also, Check This Out
Jordan Peele’s “Nope” stars Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer as brother-and-sister horse wranglers defending the family ranch from an extraterrestrial threat.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
