Aggravated by the latest delay in Donald Trump’s election subversion trial, Colbert unleashed “the power vested in me as a late-night host” against the court.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Thrilling Conclusion of America’
On Wednesday, the Supreme Court agreed to hear Donald Trump’s claim that he’s immune from prosecution on charges of plotting to overturn the 2020 election. One result is that the trial will be further delayed.
“These proceedings have been frozen for so long they legally count as children in Alabama,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday’s “Late Show.”
“Kind of weird that SCOTUS feels the need to consider whether or not laws exist.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This is what happens when we let an extra from ‘Home Alone 2’ pick three Supreme Court justices.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And it gets worse — because the oral arguments are in April, but court watchers don’t expect a decision until June. And the trial judge has promised the defense 88 days after that to prepare, meaning the trial could now be delayed until late September or October, plunging the proceedings into the heart of the election. That is terrible news for democracy, but fantastic news for television. All of the plotlines will come together at once for the thrilling conclusion of America.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The Supreme Court gains all of its legitimacy and all of its power from public approval. They don’t have an army or a police force or, apparently, an H.R. department; they have to rely on moral authority. But they have abdicated that moral authority, which is why, tonight, using the power vested in me as a late-night host, I am hereby declaring the Supreme Court unconstitutional.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Fit for Duty Edition)
“Yesterday, President Biden had his annual physical exam, and good news: He’s alive! Jon Stewart, you owe me five bucks! Pay up!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The White House physician wrote a summary of the president’s health and said Joe Biden is ‘fit for duty’ and described him as ‘healthy, active, and robust.’ In stark contrast with the former president, who is unhealthy, inactive, and ro-busted.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“When asked about his mental state, the doctor said, ‘The president is in healthy physical condition.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“We also got a list of all the medications Joe Biden takes for allergies, blood pressure and heartburn. They’re all pretty common — Eliquis, Crestor, Dymista, Allegra, Pepcid, and Nexium. Thanks, Joe! I believe that’s every one of our sponsors.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Dulcé Sloan declared Feb. 29 to be Black Women’s History Day on “The Daily Show.”
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
