The Washington elite kept troops in Afghanistan “longer than it takes for George R.R. Martin to come up with a new ‘Game of Thrones’ book,” Meyers joked.
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‘A Little More Time’
Seth Meyers discussed the messy U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan in his “Closer Look” segment on Wednesday night, blaming members of the Washington elite who he said had misled the public for years about the prospects for success in America’s longest war.
“And that’s how ‘forever wars’ happen: People in charge just keep asking for a little more time to turn things around and then, next thing you know, it’s been 20 years and you’ve been in Afghanistan longer than it takes for George R.R. Martin to come up with a new ‘Game of Thrones’ book,” Meyers joked.
“And every time someone suggested withdrawing, the military-industrial complex and foreign policy elite kept insisting that if we only gave them just a few more months, they could finally turn things around. It’s kind of like how as a kid you tell your parents you’d return the movie you rented from Blockbuster tomorrow because you hadn’t finished it yet, and then they’d ask you the next day, and you tell them you just have to watch the last 20 minutes, and then the next thing you know, you’re 47 years old and owe Blockbuster $60,000 in late fees for a VHS copy of ‘The Prince of Tides.’” — SETH MEYERS
“There was never a good time to withdraw, which is why no president before Biden was willing to do it, kind of like how there’s never a good time at a pool party to tell someone you can see their [expletive] crack. No one wants to be the guy who interrupts pool volleyball to say, ‘Hey, Dave, pull up your swimsuit.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Duct Tales Edition)
“Guys, I saw that United Airlines has instructed its flight crew not to use duct tape when dealing with unruly passengers. Don’t use it, yeah. Flight attendants heard and were like, ‘OK, Tasers it is.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s right, United isn’t allowed to use duct tape, while passengers on Frontier Airlines will now be wheeled onboard like Hannibal Lecter.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, according to the memo, United is against using duct tape unless it’s holding up one of their engines. That’s where they draw the line.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Wednesday night’s guest host, Sean Hayes, played doctor on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Saturday Night Live” star Cecily Strong will visit Seth Meyers on Thursday night.
Also, Check This Out
Billie Jean King’s new memoir, “All In,” is a powerful, personal manifesto from the longtime activist and athlete, our critic writes.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
