The late night host also described the papal conclave as determining “who will be handed the keys to the popemobile” on Tuesday.
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Shantay, You Stay
With Pope Francis’ funeral on Saturday, the selection of his successor will quickly follow.
On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel discussed the traditional process of determining “who will be handed the keys to the popemobile.”
“Over the next few weeks, 135 flamboyantly dressed cardinals will gather to pass judgment on a series of aspiring candidates. In a lot of ways, it’s the Catholic version of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And nobody’s going to be more insufferable this week than your friend who saw the movie ‘Conclave’ and now knows everything about how it works.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The Vatican has published images of the pope laying in an open casket. A surprise, Jill Biden said, ‘I’d hit that.’” — GREG GUTFELD
“The funeral will be held Saturday for people who want to see something less depressing than ‘S.N.L.’” — GREG GUTFELD
“We won’t know for at least a couple of weeks who will succeed Pope Francis, but this guy, to me, this is the guy at the top of my list. One of the candidates is an Italian cardinal stationed in Jerusalem. His name is Pierbattista Pizzaballa. ‘For a limited time only at Papa John’s, the Pizzaballa!’ How much fun would that be? In fact, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a minute to pray. Please bow your heads.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Earth Day Edition)
“Today, of course, is Earth Day. Nancy Pelosi said, ‘I remember the first one, 7 billion years ago.’” — GREG GUTFELD
“Think about this: One planet produced dinosaurs and the iPhone and Fig Newtons and Kid Rock. Isn’t that something?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
”The Environmental Protection Agency did their part to honor our planet today, with a round of reassignments and mass layoffs. I can’t help but wonder how different things might be if Donald Trump’s father had taken him camping even one time.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
In his Tuesday monologue, Greg Gutfeld targeted the city of San Francisco while discussing dark woke.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
“The Bear” star Ayo Edebiri will appear on Wednesday’s “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney.”
Also, Check This Out
“The Great Gatsby” will celebrate its 100th anniversary with special exhibitions in New York, Minnesota, New Jersey and South Carolina.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
