Lisa Appleton is back to help with Daily Star Online readers’ hanky-panky horrors and nookie nightmares.
Last week, she gave advice to a woman whose husband had cheated on her, and she queried if making her husband a sex slave would solve their problems, after he expressed a desire to be dominated.
Lisa advised that the coronavirus lockdown is the perfect time for experimentation in the bedroom, but that she needed to decide if she’d truly be able to ever trust him again.
Lisa Appleton helps Daily Star Online readers with their nookie nightmares
‘Scared of performing oral sex’
Dear Lisa,
I’m in a relatively new relationship – my boyfriend and I have only been together for three months.
But we decided to quarantine together at his during the lockdown, as we thought it was the perfect opportunity to spend some time together as we don’t normally get to see each other a lot – as he works to 9-5 and I work shifts.
It’s been really enjoyable so far and I definitely think it’s brought us closer together.
The lockdown has definitely spiced up things in the bedroom too, as we’re having more sex, as we’re spending all our time together.
But my boyfriend keeps asking me to perform oral sex on him – normally I can avoid it as we don’t have sex very often.
However, now I feel like I have to as I don’t want to come off selfish, and there’s nowhere to hide so to speak.
I’ve only done it once before and it nearly made me throw up when I did it, so I’m really anxious about doing it again, and think I’ve built up a bit of a phobia.
I really want to get over this, but I’m not too sure how.
Do you have any advice Lisa?
Thanks,
Anonymous
Lisa says:
So, you and your boyfriend haven’t long been together and it’s all very exciting, he works 9-5 in the day, you work shifts at night, meaning you don’t get to see each other that much, so when you do, it’s all very exciting.
And you’ve made a somewhat rash decision about moving in during the lockdown, as you think it’s better than living separately.
It kind of makes sense to do that, as you were going to be on your own, and he was going to be on his own.
Whereas now you can talk to each other and cuddle etc, look after each other and entertain each other – it’s not all about sex.
So, first of all, you shouldn’t feel pressured into feeling like you have to have sex every day and performing oral sex acts, which you’re not used to, especially if it makes you feel like throwing up.
So, it’s not a bad decision living together, but it is about communication because you haven’t been together long and if he’s wanting you to perform oral sex regularly and it’s something you’re not used to doing and it’s making you feel like throwing up, you need to communicate.
Living together is probably a shock to the system too, as you’re both used to working and we’re watching the news constantly and it can make you feel a bit down sometimes, we’re living in this lockdown where we can’t do much.
You can’t go for a romantic meal, or head to the pub with your friends, it’s about surviving in this lockdown and it’s about bringing the best out of your relationship, as it’s a very testing time for some people.
Lisa Appleton talks sex and relationships
So, just chat to him, and explain you’re not a fan of performing oral sex and so you’re happy to do it every now and then, but you just want to take time in the bedroom, as you’re not used to having sex every day and performing in this way.
Just explain that you’ve gone from having sex once or twice a week to that every day thing where you’re constantly together and it feels a little bit overwhelming.
But say you really like him and you’re very happy with him and sometimes just kiss and cuddle and don’t get straight into your love-making.
And it’s not always about oral sex – sometimes just have a quickie.
Why don’t you say, ‘Hey tonight, just get stuck into me babe,’ and just have a quick session.
It doesn’t always have to go on for hours and hours – sometimes that can be too much for anyone if you’re not in the mood and just vary it and one night have a romantic cuddle in the shower or just a quickie, and then one day have a more longer and lingering session.
And just chat as anyone who’s a loving partner will understand. And just say you’re coping with all these life-changing things that have happened during lockdown, and you sometimes feel that you want to do things slightly differently.
But it will all be alright and I’m sure he’ll understand, and if he seems a bit grumpy after you’ve said it, just keep reenforcing to him how much you like him and how happy you are with him, but that he’s got to understand where you’re coming from.
Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
