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    Jon Stewart Slams the Media for Coverage of Trump Trial

    “Are you trying to make this O.J.? It’s not a chase — he’s commuting,” Stewart said on Monday’s “Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Media CircusOpening arguments began in former President Donald Trump’s criminal trial on Monday, with much of the news media coverage homing in on as many details as possible about the proceedings.Jon Stewart called the trial a “test of the fairness of the American legal system, but it’s also a test of the media’s ability to cover Donald Trump in a responsible way.”“Perhaps if we limit the coverage to the issues at hand and try not to create an all-encompassing spectacle of the most banal of details, perhaps that would help.” — JON STEWART“He arrived at the intersection of American history, where he put a quarter in the parking meter of destiny, leaving the car, looking to avoid stepping in the urine puddle of jurisprudence.” — JON STEWART, mocking the media’s coverage of Trump’s arrival in court“Seriously, are we going to follow this guy to court every [expletive] day? Are you trying to make this O.J.? It’s not a chase — he’s commuting.” — JON STEWART“At this point, you’re probably saying to yourself, ‘How many television hours have they devoted to what Donald Trump, a man who has not been off any of our screens for more than 30 seconds in the last eight years, looks like?’ The answer is not nearly as many hours as describing his every movement.” — JON STEWART“Look, at some point in this trial, something important and revelatory is going to happen, but none of us are going to notice because of the hours spent on his speculative facial tics. If the media tries to make us feel like the most mundane [expletive] is earth-shattering, we won’t believe you when it’s really interesting. It’s your classic ‘Boy Who Cried Wolf Blitzer.’” — JON STEWART“Look, we’ve got a long ways to go here. It’s the first day of the first of his 438 trials to come. Pace yourselves, and if you’re bored, you can always start planning how you’re going to [expletive] up covering his next trial and the sober mea culpa you’ll deliver during his next term as president.” — JON STEWARTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Insano Edition)“The city that never sleeps versus the defendant who keeps nodding off during the trial.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“As he should. I mean, he’s been up since 2 a.m. rage tweeting. He needs his anger sleep.” — JON STEWART“Just when you think the insano-meter has topped out, Donald Trump adds farting to his list of atrocities.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, we don’t know for sure that Trump was the one farting in court, so it would not be right for me to state that he was. So, I cannot in good conscience report that Trump was pumping gas like a Barstow Texaco, but I can report, to borrow a phrase that he likes to use when spreading rumors, ‘Many people were saying Trump was farting in court.’” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Late Night Mocks Republicans for Trying to Oust Their Speaker

    “Being the speaker of the House nowadays is like being Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend — you hang on as long as you can,” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not Right EnoughThe Republican speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, is facing significant backlash from conservatives after pushing to advance an aid package for Ukraine.“Somehow Mike Johnson, a man who called Planned Parenthood part of an ‘American holocaust,’ isn’t right-wing enough for these people,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.“They formed what they call a ‘Floor Action Response Team’ or F-A-R-T for short. So, you know these are very serious people.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Being the speaker of the House nowadays is like being Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend — you hang on as long as you can.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Mike Johnson — a climate change-denying, homophobic religious fanatic — knows that getting Ukraine these weapons is the right thing to do and even though his party is terrified of Jell-O Putin-lover Trump, he’s doing it anyway, and that’s why they’re going to destroy him. They can’t have that! If they let him do the right thing on Ukraine, he might do the right thing on other stuff. It’s a very slippery slope.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Jury Duty Edition)“They had a really productive day today. Matter of fact, right before I came out here to do the show, we learned that a full jury has now been picked for Donald Trump’s New York trial. Plus, one alternate has been seated, too. So 13 — also known as a Stormy dozen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Each prospective juror had to answer questions about what they think about Trump, which meant he had to sit there and listen to comments like this one, from a woman who said — she said, ‘I wouldn’t believe Trump if his tongue were notarized.’ You know, that woman — she did not get picked as a juror, but I would like to hire her as a writer if she’s interested.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Juror No. 2 told the judge that people in her life had figured out she’d been selected and then had started to try to influence her. That frustrated Judge Merchan, who admonished the press for reporting juror descriptions and gave this example: ‘There was really no need to mention that one of the jurors had an Irish accent.’ That’s true — that little detail allowed me to positively identify him as the Lucky Charms guy. [imitating Lucky Charms leprechaun] ‘They’re after me home address!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Late Night Skewers Trump’s Review of Jimmy Kimmel’s Oscar Hosting

    “Ranta Claus got up bright and early to post 165 venomous words about yours truly,” Kimmel said on Donald Trump’s day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Old NewsDonald Trump had the day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday. He spent part of it criticizing Jimmy Kimmel’s hosting of the Oscars several weeks ago, though he apparently conflated him with Al Pacino, who announced a major award there.Trump wrote, in part: “Stupid Jimmy Kimmel, who still hasn’t recovered from his horrendous performance and big ratings drop as Host of The Academy Awards, especially when he showed he suffered from TDS, commonly known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, to the entire World by reading on air my TRUTH about how bad a job he was doing that night, right before he stumbled through announcing the biggest award of all, ‘Picture of the Year.’”“This was five weeks ago,” Kimmel said of the Oscars. “My parents don’t even care anymore!”“Today, he had a day off, and how did he spend that? Brunch with Melania? No. Maybe a catch with Barron in the yard? No, no. Ranta Claus got up bright and early to post 165 venomous words about yours truly!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right — in the middle of a presidential campaign and countless federal indictments, he’s obsessed with the Academy Awards from five weeks ago. I look forward to his new campaign slogan: ‘Trump 2024: They Gave It to ‘Green Book’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I did not present the award for Best Picture. I am not Al Pacino. Maybe you dreamed this during one of your courtroom siestas?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s Al Pacino, I’m me. You’d think he would know that because I’m pretty sure ‘Say hello to my little friend’ is what he said to Stormy Daniels that got him in all this trouble.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Also, you keep my friend Jimmy Kimmel’s name out of your weird little wet mouth, OK? Jimmy Kimmel is my podcast brother from Strike Force 5, and I have vowed — I have vowed to defend him until my death — or until the next ad for Mint Mobile.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Fascinating and Mysterious Edition)“Yesterday was a surprisingly productive court session because they picked seven jurors. I was not one of them. And while their identities will be kept secret, we’ve learned a little about who it is, like Juror No. 4, who said of the ex-president, ‘I find him fascinating and mysterious. [imitating juror] Like when he says he wants to shoot protesters and jail his opponents, what does he mean? I can fix him.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Notes ‘Another Stormy Day’ in ‘The Orange People’s Court’

    Kimmel said that former president Donald J. Trump is starring “as the defendant in his first of many criminal trials to come.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Jury’s Still OutJury selection continued in former President Donald Trump’s criminal trial on Tuesday.Jimmy Kimmel called it “another Stormy day in New York in the new episode of ‘The Orange People’s Court’ today starring Donald J. Trump as the defendant in his first of many criminal trials to come.”“Now yesterday, more than half the group was excused for telling the judge they could not be fair and impartial. That’s pretty vague — might as well ask ‘Who wants to leave?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I wouldn’t blame them. After all, the job description is ‘Wanted: impartial juror, four days a week, $40 a day, benefits include free Wi-Fi and unlimited death threats.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One potential juror was an older woman who said she believes ‘no one is above the law.’ And Trump’s lawyers were like, ‘Get her out of here right now!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yo, this court is roasting Donald Trump. I thought this was a courthouse, not a high school cafeteria.” — DULCÉ SLOAN, guest host of “The Daily Show”“He’s got thick skin. He’s basically a hunk of beef jerky with a layer of bronzer.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“At that rate, they’re going to burn through every available New Yorker. By the end, the jury’s going to include a Times Square Buzz Lightyear, 40 rats in a trench coat, and Lin Manuel Miranda.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Sleepy Crime Tea’ Edition)“Yesterday, Trump fell asleep during the proceedings — he took a little white power nap. But today he was sharp, focused and he fell asleep again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The Trump campaign also pushed back on reports that he fell asleep in court yesterday. They said that was ‘fake snooze.’’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s very sleepy. Is it possible his lawyers are tranquilizing him to keep the outbursts at a minimum?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump must have snoozed for a while, because the court sketch artist had time to draw him. Well, I think we found a new mascot for Celestial Seasonings Sleepy Crime Tea.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe singer-songwriter Maggie Rogers performed her song “The Kill” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightOrlando Bloom will promote his new Peacock series “Orlando Bloom: The Edge” on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutFKA twigs rehearsing Martha Graham’s “Satyric Festival Song” at the Graham studios in Manhattan on Monday. The dress was designed by Graham.Caroline Tompkins for The New York TimesRecording artist FKA twigs will make her debut with the Martha Graham Dance Company on Thursday. More

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    Late Night Savors Day One of the Trump Trial

    After the ex-president seemed to fall asleep in court, Jimmy Kimmel said it was “nice to see even Donald Trump is exhausted by Donald Trump.” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Dozo the Clown’Donald Trump’s trial kicked off with jury selection in New York on Monday.“The trial began at 10 a.m. with the court clerk announcing, ‘The People of the State of New York vs. Donald J. Trump,’ followed by 15 minutes of thunderous applause,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.“‘The People of the State of New York?’ That’s us!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The trial is expected to last six weeks — or until the courtroom sketch artist runs out of orange, whichever comes first.” — JIMMY KIMMELLate night hosts were amused by the reports of Trump nodding off during the proceedings.“Imagine committing so many crimes you get bored at your own trial.” — JON STEWART“If Biden is Sleepy Joe, I guess that makes you Dozo the Clown.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Imagine if Joe Biden fell asleep in the court on the first day of his trial. Trump would be calling him ‘Comatose Joe.’ Fox News would be talking about this until Christmas. But not old Donny Nappleseed.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Multiple reports said Trump’s head drooped until his chin hit his chest, which, I don’t know, maybe he was just following the price of his Truth Social stock. Either way, it’s nice to see even Donald Trump is exhausted by Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Gettysburg: Wow’ Edition)“This weekend, our former president and illustrious historian Donald J. Trump spoke near one of America’s most hallowed battlefields, and if you thought Lincoln consecrated Gettysburg with his soaring rhetoric, well, buckle up.” — JON STEWART“You have to hand it to this guy: On the weekend before his unprecedented criminal trial begins, he somehow manages to overshadow it with this broken-brained interpretation of what happened at Gettysburg during the Civil War.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That is plagiarized almost directly from my seventh-grade book report, ‘Gettysburg: Wow.’” — JON STEWART“What a stirring orator. I look forward to Ken Burns’s updated documentary.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He always sounds like a kid who forgot he had an oral report due on that day.” — JIMMY KIMMEL”Get that man on ‘Drunk History,’ will you?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe author Salman Rushdie talked to Colbert about his memoir, “Knife,” which recounts the attempt on his life in 2022.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightOn Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Mayan Lopez will discuss working with her father, George, on Season 2 of their NBC sitcom, “Lopez vs. Lopez.”Also, Check This OutA tour of historically Black colleges and universities by the cast of “A Different World” includes, clockwise from top left, Kadeem Hardison, Cree Summer, Charnele Brown, Darryl M. Bell, Dawnn Lewis and Glynn Turman.Schaun Champion for The New York TimesFormer cast members from the sitcom “A Different World” have reunited in support of historically Black universities. More

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    Late Night Comedians Mock Trump’s Trial-Delaying Efforts

    “You know what they say: If at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth or tenth you don’t succeed, cry, cry again,” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Hush Money MondayFormer President Donald Trump’s first criminal trial starts on Monday, despite several failed efforts to have it delayed.“His only move left is to have sex with everyone in the court and pay them $130,000 to keep their mouth shut,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.“You know what they say: If at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth or tenth you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump has tried everything. He even requested a delay so he could mourn the loss of O.J.” — JIMMY FALLONOn “Late Night,” Seth Meyers pointed out that Trump had spent $100 million — or $230,000 a day — on legal bills for his combined court cases.“First of all, it’s very funny that you have to pay all the lawyers for all your criminal trials through something called Save America. Save America from what, you?” — SETH MEYERS“Also, $230,000 a day — for comparison’s sake — you can buy a pristine 1967 Chevy Corvette with original transmission and teal-blue interior for roughly the same price, which is perfect because that’s Joe Biden’s favorite car.” — SETH MEYERS“Biden should pull that thing up in front of the courthouse every day: ‘[imitating Biden] Hey, Donny, what’d you spend your $230K on?’ Every day that Trump drops that much money on lawyers you should have to hear Joe Biden say the words ‘Vroom vroom.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (R.I.P. O.J. Edition)“As most of you probably know, the big story was that O.J. Simpson went to hell today.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s rare that a celebrity as famous as O.J. doesn’t get an outpouring of love after news of his death, but it makes sense.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Guys, as I mentioned, the big news today is O.J. Simpson died. As we speak, someone is trying to write the most impossible eulogy of all time.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper joined Michael Kosta, the guest host, for “Men Talk About Abortion” on Thursday’s “The Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutDonielle Hansley Jr. and Simone Joy Jones in “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.”2024 Fence 2021 Films LLCWade Allain-Marcus’s reboot of the cult hit “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” keeps the plot from the 1991 original. More

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    Seth Meyers Slams Trump’s $50 Million Fund-raiser

    Meyers said the dinner menu at a Palm Beach campaign event for Donald Trump “had so many foreign words, I’m surprised he didn’t have it deported.” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Not One to Exaggerate’Donald Trump made an appearance at a campaign fund-raiser held by a billionaire donor, John Paulson, in his Palm Beach home on Saturday. The Trump campaign said it raised more than $50 million.The former first lady Melania Trump was also in attendance, where, Seth Meyers joked, “she finally got to meet an actual billionaire.”“And just to give you an idea of how elite this fund-raiser was, check out the food they served: ‘The evening’s menu included an endive and frisée salad, filet au poivre, and pavlova with fresh berries for dessert.’ That menu had so many foreign words, I’m surprised he didn’t have it deported.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump claims he raked in $50 million Saturday night, which seems high, but he’s not one to exaggerate.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“While speaking at his Palm Beach fund-raiser over the weekend, former President Trump complained that immigrants aren’t coming to the U.S. from ‘nice’ countries like Denmark, Switzerland or Norway. And then, at the end, added, ‘Oh, Slovenia!’” — SETH MEYERS“Maybe because people don’t tend to flee one of the happiest countries on Earth.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Whenever Trump says ‘nice,’ he means ‘white.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eclipse Edition)“The sun and the moon did the thing that everyone’s been saying they were going to do for centuries now. The path got totalitied, and now both planets will go back to years of ignoring each other before they inevitably hook up again. Textbook toxic relationship.” — JON STEWART“It was quite a sight, and if you’re excited about the eclipse and the sky turning totally black, wait ’til you hear about nighttime.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, all the news stations had nonstop coverage, but I think CNN messed up by not having Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper count down to the blackout while getting blacked out.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, this is the day you don’t look directly at the sun. Or as one guy put it, [imitating Trump] ‘It’s very easy to do.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And if you missed the eclipse, don’t worry; there are currently two billion videos of it on Instagram.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJon Stewart laid into American leaders for continuing to support Israel on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightConan O’Brien, who had a brief stint as the “Tonight Show” host almost 15 years ago, will return as a guest on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutThe final episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” found Larry David on trial.John Johnson/HBOThe series finale of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” found Larry David in familiar territory. More

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    Stephen Colbert Says Trump’s ‘April Trials Bring Me Smiles’

    “The Late Show” host changed up the adage about spring after Donald Trump had a bad day in court.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘April Trials Bring Me Smiles’Former President Donald Trump has suffered setbacks in court the last few days, including a ruling against him on Thursday in his classified documents case.Stephen Colbert said he’s changing up the “April showers” adage: “Because from now on, it’s April trials bring me smiles.”Late night hosts were also thrilled that, on Wednesday, the judge in Trump’s Manhattan criminal trial refused his proposed delay until after the Supreme Court rules on whether he is immune from prosecution in another case.“Starting April 15, we get to see Donald Trump having to see Stormy Daniels testify about having to see Donald Trump naked.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating lawyer] Your honor, for reasons that will be all too apparent during her testimony, I’d like to submit into evidence this baby Bella mushroom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Don Provolone has a long list of charges against him, but I feel like we all want to see him taken down by the porn star one, right? I mean, that’s the fun one. Grab him by the mushroom, Stormy!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“April 15’s going to be a big day for Donald Trump. It’s the first time in history a former president will be held accountable for cheating on his taxes and his wife the same day.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eclipse Edition)“Next Monday, a solar eclipse will totally block out the sun over parts of America, and we’re all looking forward to having one brief moment when you can look up into the sky and see something besides the door of a Boeing airplane plummeting to the ground.” — DESI LYDIC, guest host of “The Daily Show”“But it’s not just a moment for humans. An eclipse offers a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Rudy Giuliani to come out and feed during the day.” — DESI LYDIC“It’s really exciting because we haven’t had total darkness outside since November through March.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe stand-up comedian Alex Edelman discussed his new HBO special, “Just for Us,” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutA scene from the documentary “Kim’s Video,” directed by David Redmon and Ashley Sabin.Drafthouse FilmsA new documentary about Kim’s Video tracks a beloved movie collection from downtown New York City to small-town Italy. More