Stephen Colbert Celebrates America’s New Holiday, Juneteenth
June 19 is “also known as Macklemore’s birthday, but haven’t Black Americans suffered enough?” Colbert joked on Thursday night.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.156 Years LaterStephen Colbert was among those celebrating as Juneteenth became a national holiday with President Biden’s signature on Thursday.“And long overdue,” Colbert said. “Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, the day the last group of enslaved people in America learned about the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation that had taken place two and a half years earlier. Then, it only took 156 more years until the idea finally reached Washington that maybe we should celebrate this.”“My understanding is that they’re giving it the full holiday treatment — a day off, community gatherings, and, one assumes, 50 percent off all Tempur-Pedic California Kings.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“June 19, known by many names. June 19, also known as Macklemore’s birthday, but haven’t Black Americans suffered enough?” — STEPHEN COLBERTColbert and Jimmy Fallon also pointed out that the 14 Republicans who voted against the bill in the House had something in common.“That looks like the white paint sample section at Home Depot: ‘What do you think, honey, should we paint the bathroom Mike Rogers or Thomas Massie?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Ah, yes, it’s the SPF 700 club.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Walled Off Edition)“There was a big announcement from Texas-governor-and-man-breathing-easier-thanks-to-Allegra Greg Abbott. Abbott says he’s going to solicit donations from the public to fund the construction of Texas’ border wall. Hear me out — it’s about time. Somebody’s got to keep those Texans out of the U.S. Do Florida next!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, Texas is building a wall, and New Mexico’s going to pay for it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Maybe the wall is to keep Ted Cruz from fleeing to Mexico the next time there’s an emergency.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“OK, so, one state can do its own foreign policy? It reminds me of that famous headline after Pearl Harbor: ‘Delaware Declares Dela-war.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Abbott was clear on wanting money and wanting wall, but the other details were pretty fuzzy. As one reporter put it, ‘He says Texans can donate their private land and money to the project, but he can’t say what the project will look like, how many miles will be built or where it will be built.’ So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” correspondent Jordan Klepper went inside a Wisconsin rally hosted by Mike Lindell (a.k.a. the My Pillow guy).Also, Check This OutRose Byrne stars in “Physical” as an ’80s woman who finds meaning in aerobics.Apple TV+Rose Byrne stars as a bitter woman who finds inspiration in aerobics on the new 1980s-based Apple TV+ series “Physical.” More
