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    Jimmy Fallon Finds Bright Side of Biden Testing Positive for Covid

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    “It’s the first positive news he’s had in months,” Fallon said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Positive for BidenPresident Joe Biden tested positive for Covid on Wednesday, forcing him to cancel campaign events and self-isolate.“On the bright side, it’s the first positive news he’s had in months,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.“Yep, Biden had fatigue, a cough and brain fog — and then he got Covid.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden tested positive yesterday for Covid-19. On the plus side, everyone around him was already distancing.” — SETH MEYERS“Biden has Covid, which is no joke for a man of his age, especially because this is an unusual strain where the brain fog hits you three weeks ago.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Thankfully, Biden is expected to make a full recovery, and his doctor said that he’ll be back to 60 percent in no time.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Matt Gaetz’s New Face Edition)“Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz spoke last night at the Republican National Convention. When reached for comment, he couldn’t get his phone to unlock.” — SETH MEYERS“I mean, he looks like he’s trying to be an NBA player’s third wife.” — ANTHONY ANDERSON, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“It looks like his eyebrows are reacting to a picture of his eyebrows.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingThe James Beard-winning barbecue master Kevin Bludso showed Guillermo and the “Jimmy Kimmel Live” guest host Anthony Anderson how to apply dry rub to dino ribs and pork shoulder on Thursday.Also, Check This OutFrom left, Daisy Edgar-Jones, Anthony Ramos and Glen Powell in “Twisters.”Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Pictures, Warner Bros. Pictures & Amblin EntertainmentDaisy Edgar-Jones and Glen Powell star in “Twisters,” the new stand-alone sequel to the hit 1996 tornado-themed thriller “Twister.” More

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      Late Night Taunts Former Critics Who Changed Their Minds About Trump

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      J.D. Vance and Nikki Haley, among other Republicans at the convention, seem to have gotten over their reservations about the former president.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Walking It BackA recurring theme of this week’s Republican National Convention has been former critics of Donald Trump singing his praises, including Nikki Haley and, most notably, J.D. Vance, who accepted the vice presidential nomination on Wednesday.“Vance started by saying, ‘All that comparing-Trump-to-Hitler stuff? Full take-backsies,’” Jimmy Fallon said on “The Tonight Show.”“While speaking last night at the Republican National Convention, Nikki Haley said, ‘There are some Americans who don’t agree with Donald Trump 100 percent of the time.’ For example, all the speakers of the R.N.C. just a few months ago.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Nikki Haley spoke at the R.N.C. last night and said that former President Trump has her ‘strong endorsement, period.’ And then Mike Johnson tried to have her arrested for saying ‘period.’” — SETH MEYERS“You are a total sellout with no spine. Period.” — ANTHONY ANDERSON, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”The Punchiest Punchlines (Babydog Edition)“And I think no matter what your politics, we can all agree that Babydog is fantastic. Honestly, if Republicans had nominated Babydog for president, I’d be [expletive] torn. I think even Biden would be like, ‘[expletive], maybe I should drop out.’” — SETH MEYERS on Gov. Jim Justice’s bulldog, who appeared beside him onstage at the convention“Really undercuts your message of doom when the camera cuts to a super-happy dog just chillin’ in a chair. Your words say, ‘If Biden wins, the country will be destroyed,’ but her face says, ‘I’m doing [expletive] great, no matter who wins.’” — SETH MEYERS“Why do I feel like they share a sleep apnea machine?” — JIMMY FALLON“Looks like a Friar’s Club roast on Animal Planet.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingHowie Mandel shared his fondness for pranking Heidi Klum, his fellow “America’s Got Talent” judge, during an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightSenator Bernie Sanders will appear live on Thursday’s “Late Show” after the Republican convention wraps up.Also, Check This Out“Shogun,” an FX drama, captured the most nominations, with 25.Katie Yu/FX, via Associated Press“The Bear,” “Shogun” and “Baby Reindeer” are among the television shows with the most Emmy nominations this year. More

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      Jon Stewart Razzes a ‘Daily Show’ Guest: Bill O’Reilly

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      The former Fox host, a longtime foil of the show, said he knew he had “no friends here.” “Well, not just here,” Stewart replied.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sparring Partners“The Daily Show” was supposed to be in Milwaukee for the Republican National Convention this week, but the attempt on Donald Trump’s life changed that. “What a terrible [expletive] week,” Jon Stewart said as he opened Tuesday’s show from New York.“‘Hey Jon, come back to ‘The Daily Show,’ just for the election. It’ll be fun! You’ll do one day a week, it’ll be a laugh! What could go wrong?’” — JON STEWARTWith security at the convention enhanced, the theater where they’d planned to tape the show was locked down, Stewart explained. In security parlance, it was now in the “hard perimeter,” not the “soft perimeter.” “You really don’t want to be in the hard perimeter,” he said.While Stewart touched on the convention’s first two days in his opener, the real amusement came from his sit-down with Bill O’Reilly, the former Fox host who provided fodder for many “Daily Show” jokes in years past.The two have squared off before, and O’Reilly nodded to that history: “We are able to disagree without hating each other. Now, I truly hate him. But I don’t show it.”“I like coming on here, in front of all of your friends out here — and the audience should know, I have no friends here.” — BILL O’REILLY“Well, not just here.” — JON STEWARTO’Reilly tried to distance himself from Trump, saying that as a registered independent, he didn’t have a candidate. Then he pulled out a sheet of paper and rattled off a list of prices, mortgage rates and overdose rates that had risen during the Biden administration.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      ‘The Daily Show’ Ribs Biden Over Democratic Detractors

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      “You know you’re in trouble if even Danny Ocean is saying, ‘We can’t pull this one off,’” Desi Lydic joked after George Clooney called for Biden to drop out.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Ocean’s 24On Wednesday, Representative Nancy Pelosi, the former House speaker, responded to questions about whether the president should continue to seek re-election by saying that she would support President Biden, “whatever he decides.”“Keep in mind, Biden has said about 50 times that he’s staying in the race,” Jordan Klepper said on “The Daily Show.”“He’s like, ‘I’m not going anywhere. The Lord almighty couldn’t get me out of this race,’ and Pelosi’s going, ‘Yup, great, just let us know when you decide. Clock’s ticking — tick-tock.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“By the way, it probably doesn’t help that as she was speaking, I kept thinking, ‘Man, I wish that Biden could channel the youth and vigor of Nancy Pelosi.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“You know things are crazy when an 84-year-old Nancy Pelosi is telling an 81-year-old Joe Biden to retire.” — JIMMY FALLONIn the same segment, “The Daily Show” co-host Desi Lydic referred to George Clooney as an “even more powerful Democrat,” after he called for Biden to step aside in a Times opinion essay.“You know you’re in trouble if even Danny Ocean is saying, ‘We can’t pull this one off.’” — DESI LYDIC“It’s easy for him to say Biden’s too old — Clooney doesn’t age.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“George wrote a New York Times Op-Ed titled ‘I Love Joe Biden. But We Need a New Nominee,’ adding, ‘We also need a money guy, a safecracker, an acrobat and Brad Pitt. It’s the plot of ‘Ocean’s 24: Amal’s Busy With Human Rights Stuff and I Got Bored.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Wait, while we were all distracted by this Op-Ed, who was watching the money? Oh, it was a heist the whole time. Clooney!” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Different Strokes Edition)“At his rally last night in Florida, former President Trump challenged President Biden to a golf match. Biden’s actually interested because, in golf, the lowest number wins.” — SETH MEYERS“That’d be a crazy match. While Trump replaces a divot with his hairpiece, Biden will be in the sand trap with a metal detector.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump said if Biden beats him, he’d give a million dollars to charity. Keep in mind, Charity is the name of a dancer at a club near Mar-a-Lago, but still, he’s going to give it to her.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Finds Democrats Still Ridin’ for Biden

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      “People waited all day for white smoke to emerge from the capital, signaling a new leader,” Jimmy Fallon joked after Congressional Democrats met in Washington on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Blowing SmokeCongressional Democrats met in Washington on Tuesday to discuss their concerns about President Biden’s re-election campaign.“People waited all day for white smoke to emerge from the Capitol, signaling a new leader,” Jimmy Fallon said.“So today, Congressional Democrats gathered behind closed doors to talk about Biden’s future in what one of them called a ‘come-to-Jesus meeting.’ No, no! Do not let Joe come anywhere near Jesus until Nov. 6. Walk away from the light, Joe. Get away!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Some described the meeting as very positive, while others said the room was filled with sadness. So, basically, our government has the same plot as ‘Inside Out 2.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Reports say the mood of the meeting was very somber, with some members comparing it to a funeral, while another said that analogy was an insult to funerals. Hey, Democrats, keep it light.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Meanwhile, that big old flirt President Biden hosted world leaders at the NATO summit in Washington today. But only one of them will be the next Golden Bachelor.” — KATHRYN HAHN, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“When Biden walked into the room with 31 world leaders, he wasn’t sure if it was a NATO summit or an intervention.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (America’s Next Top Vice President Edition)“With the convention starting on Monday, the question on a lot of people’s minds is who will Donald Trump pick as his running mate? And, as of this taping, the latest reports say that Trump has narrowed it down to three: Senators Marco Rubio, J.D. Vance and North Dakota’s governor, Doug Burgum, a.k.a. the cute one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s the perfect, perfect time for a reality show president to pick his running mate via reality show: [imitating Trump] ‘I see before me three beautiful candidates, but, sadly, only one can be America’s next top vice president.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump wanting to announce his running mate at the Republican National Convention“Trump needs someone who is going to help him win, so right now the front-runner is Joe Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump’s campaign needs to win over women and minorities, which is why he’s narrowed it down to two white guys.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAasif Mandvi, a former correspondent of “The Daily Show,” returned to promote his new horror-comedy series, “Evil.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightGovernor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan will discuss her new memoir, “True Gretch,” on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutClockwise from left: Jonathan Lethem; Roxane Gay; Stephen King; Sarah Jessica Parker; Marlon James; Min Jin LeeThe New York TimesStephen King, Roxane Gay, Sarah Jessica Parker and more shared their picks for the top 10 books of the 21st century. More

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      Late Night Mulls Biden’s Decision to Stay in the Race

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      “He’s basically the guy doing 30 in the left lane, and he ain’t moving for anybody,” Jimmy Fallon said of President Biden on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Staying the CoursePresident Biden has doubled down on his decision to seek re-election, defying critics who want him to step aside after his poor showing in the first debate with Donald Trump.On Monday, Jimmy Fallon joked that if Biden refused to drop out, Democrats planned “to tie a bunch of balloons to the White House and hope he flies away like the old guy from ‘Up.’”“It’s either that or put a bunch of Werther’s on the ground and lure him out like E.T.” — JIMMY FALLON“He’s basically the guy doing 30 in the left lane, and he ain’t moving for anybody.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Biden’s brushing everyone off. He’s like, ‘Hey, people have been telling me not to run for president since 1988 — I think I know what I’m doing.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Democrats in Congress are reportedly trying to find the best way for Biden to ‘move forward,’ which is probably with one of those walkers with the tennis balls on the bottom of them.” — KATHRYN HAHN, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“So, should he stay? Should he go? Who am I to recommend? I don’t know what’s going on in Joe Biden’s mind — something I apparently have in common with Joe Biden.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The truth is, both candidates are very old. This might be the first presidential race where a slick bathtub could alter the course of history.” — KATHRYN HAHNThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sleepy Joe Edition)“Meanwhile, today, amid calls for him to drop out of the election, Biden sent a letter to Democrats addressing concern about his age and says that he’s firmly committed to staying in the race. Yeah, and nothing says ‘I’m young’ like writing a sternly worded letter.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jon Stewart Is a Little Stressed Out About That Debate

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      Hosting a live “Daily Show” after the Biden-Trump spectacle, Stewart said he needed “to call a real estate agent in New Zealand.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Jon Stewart went live hosting “The Daily Show” on Thursday, recapping the debate between President Biden and Donald Trump. Stewart wasn’t in the best of spirits.Things started out strong: “Both men are ambulatory. They are both upright. Level one cleared,” Stewart joked over a clip of the candidates taking the stage. But it wasn’t long before the host said he needed “to call a real estate agent in New Zealand.”One rambling Biden answer — ending with the non sequitur “We finally beat Medicare” — had Stewart staring into the camera in horror.“OK, a high-pressure situation. A lot of times, you can confuse saving Medicare with beating it. I’m sure it’s not something that repeated throughout the debate, causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin. Anybody can [expletive] up talking.” — JON STEWART“I’m not a political expert, but while Biden was preparing at Camp David — for a week — did anyone mention he would also be on camera?” — JON STEWART“A lot of people have resting 25th Amendment face.” — JON STEWARTStewart also called out Trump for his many falsehoods.“Just so we’re all clear, everything that Donald Trump said in that clip is a lie,” he said after one montage. “Blatant and full. And we were tight on time putting this [expletive] together. There’s plenty more. Really makes you wonder: What’s R.F.K. Jr. doing tonight?”“Let me just say after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs, as much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and in one of the candidate’s cases, improve their truthfulness, morality and malignant narcissism, then suppository away.” — JON STEWART More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Counts Down to the First Presidential Debate

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      Kimmel doubted that Donald Trump would stick to his game plan of not interrupting President Biden, saying, “His discipline is unmatched!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.One Week OutThe first presidential debate is one week away, and former President Donald Trump is said to have a game plan that includes not interrupting President Biden, as he has in the past.“And, as we all know, he has an uncanny ability to stick to his game plan,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday. “His discipline is unmatched!”“Biden has secluded himself at Camp David, where he’s preparing for this bout like Rocky Balboa getting ready for ‘Golf Clubber’ Lang. And Trump is hard at work right now, deciding whether to go with the scented Aqua Net or unscented.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, despite skipping every other debate, Trump reportedly cannot wait to attack Joe Biden. It’s the most he’s ever hated someone he wasn’t married to.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Next Thursday is the first 2024 presidential debate between President Biden and former President Trump, which means we’re just one week away from finding out who falls asleep onstage.” — SETH MEYERS“Forget the debate — I say we put them both in a hammock and the first one to stand up is our next president.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Ten Commandments Edition)“Louisiana yesterday became the first state to require public schools to display the Ten Commandments in every classroom. Apparently, they’ve been having a lot of trouble with kids coveting their neighbor’s oxen.” — SETH MEYERS“Maybe they should also post the Constitution in the Louisiana governor’s office so he can give it a read every once in a while.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oh, come on, everybody knows if you want to make something accessible to kids, you don’t put it in a big font; you put it in a Hello Kitty Trapper Keeper.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I hate to break it to you, but Louisiana ranks 38th in reading — I don’t think the font is going to help.” — DESI LYDIC“I will say, in fairness, the point in posting the Ten Commandments in schools is to remind third-graders not to commit adultery.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingChappell Roan performed her hit song “Good Luck, Babe!” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutDonald Sutherland as President Snow in “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.” He campaigned for the role in the franchise.Murray Close/LionsgateDonald Sutherland’s consistent and reliable work transcended genres and eras in Hollywood. The veteran actor died on Thursday at 88. More

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      Late Night Trolls Trump Over ‘Severe Memory Issues’

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      “I’m starting to think Trump writes his name on buildings just so he can remember where he lives,” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘50 First Debates’Ramin Setoodeh, the author of “Apprentice in Wonderland,” a new book about Donald Trump, said that the former president had “severe memory issues” and forgot who Setoodeh was in a follow-up interview.“I’m starting to think Trump writes his name on buildings just so he can remember where he lives,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“I love how Trump didn’t remember who the author was but still talked to him for 10 hours.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump and Biden are accused of having memory issues, which is why they’re starring in the new film ‘50 First Debates.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The author of the upcoming book ‘Apprentice in Wonderland’ said in a new interview that former President Trump has ‘severe memory issues.’ ‘Same here,’ said undecided voters.” — SETH MEYERS“He loves talking about himself so much, he made time to do an interview for a book about ‘The Apprentice.’ I feel like you could get him to host ‘The Apprentice’ right now if you — if you pitched him a reality show where he picks his running mate ‘Apprentice’-style, for the right amount of money, he would 100 percent do it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (How Hot Is It? Edition)“Around 150 million Americans are expected to experience temperatures above 90 degrees this week, thanks to what they call a ‘heat dome.’ I always thought the heat dome was that weird helmet thing my grandma sat under at the hair salon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’ll be so hot in Maine this week, the lobsters will be getting in pots just to cool down.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s so hot in New York this week, the rats are wearing crop tops.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s so hot in South Dakota, Kristi Noem’s dogs are shooting themselves.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s so hot at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump asked Melania to be even colder to him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Scientists warn heat waves will be longer, more intense and more frequent. So, good news for Mrs. Heat Wave.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yep, this week, when you open the weather app, it just shows you the middle finger emoji.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Hannah Einbinder told Jimmy Kimmel she was taking notes while appearing on his show to prepare for the late-night show theme on Season 4 of “Hacks.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightLupita Nyong’o, the star of “A Quiet Place: Day One,” will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutIn April, Hozier reached No. 1 on the Hot 100 with the bouncy “Too Sweet,” becoming the first Irish artist since Sinead O’Connor to claim the top spot. He’s now on tour with a nine-piece band.Brian Karlsson for The New York TimesA decade after his breakout hit, “Take Me to Church,” the Irish singer-songwriter Hozier has found a new young fan base on TikTok. More