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Bye Bye Bernie
Bernie Sanders announced the end of his presidential campaign on Wednesday, addressing supporters in a live-streamed speech from his home. Sanders later appeared on “The Late Show,” where he told Stephen Colbert he hopes to work with Joe Biden to defeat Donald Trump.
TONIGHT: In an exclusive interview with @StephenAtHome, Sen. @BernieSanders shares how he can work together with Joe Biden to defeat President Trump in November. #LSSC pic.twitter.com/AmVjm0k8o1
— A Late Show (@colbertlateshow) April 9, 2020
“What I said from the first day that I announced my intention to run for president, I will do everything that I can to make sure that Donald Trump is not re-elected,” Sanders said.
“Bernie Sanders is saying Bernie Sanders can’t win? Man, he is going to catch hell from Bernie Sanders supporters.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I guess during a pandemic crazy ideas like Medicare for all just don’t resonate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“He’s pushed Medicare for all into the mainstream, he’s shined a light on income inequality, and how corporations have used money to rig the system in their favor. And he showed us all that it’s OK to use our outdoor voice indoors.” — TREVOR NOAH
“He made the announcement from his home in Vermont, where he has been holed up for weeks, obviously, without the benefit of a haircut.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“[imitating Bernie Sanders] Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get Michael J. Fox back to 1985.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Within a few minutes of this news breaking, this is what was trending: ‘RIP Bernie.’ And you know, when you’re in the middle of a pandemic talking about a 78-year-old man, maybe choose your hashtag a little bit more carefully.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Give Bernie credit, though — he held on for longer than your mother on the phone. Even after you thought it was over, had a few more ideas to share.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Fear Leader Edition)
“The president is not a cheerleader. The president is a quarterback. Tom Brady doesn’t pull everybody into the huddle and say ‘OK, bring it in guys. All right, I’ve got a theory that in a couple of months when it gets warmer, the other team is just gonna go away like a miracle. Ready? On three: do nothing!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump saying he is a “cheerleader for the country”
“Give me a B! Give me an S!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He’s more of a fear leader than a cheerleader.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He is so ready to move on from this. He tweeted today: ‘The horror of the Invisible Enemy, except for those that sadly lost a family member or friend, must be quickly forgotten.’ No. It should not be. Forgotten. We need to remember so the next time it happens, we’re prepared for it. Also, is this how we handle tragedies now? What happened to ‘never forget?’ We went from ‘never forget’ to ‘fuhgetaboutit!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Samantha Bee staged her own shed-based version of Vogue’s 73 questions on this week’s “Full Frontal.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Comic Tig Notaro will pop up on Thursday’s “Conan.”
Also, Check This Out
Laughter might not be the cure, but it’s said to be the best medicine. Check out 10 of the best comedies on Netflix right now.
Source: Television - nytimes.com