Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Mail Insecurity
On Wednesday, President Trump incorrectly asserted that Michigan and Nevada were engaging in voter fraud, accusing both states of sending mail ballots to its residents. His comments were followed by a threat to pull federal funding from these states and any others that allowed voting by mail.
“I guess in Trump’s mind, voting should be like your wife smiling at you: once a year, in public, and never at home,” Trevor Noah joked on Wednesday night’s “The Daily Social Distancing Show.”
“There are two surefire ways to piss Donald Trump off: showing him that shirtless photo of Obama, and giving people access to mail-in votes.” — TREVOR NOAH
“President Trump today accused officials in Michigan of illegally sending out almost eight million absentee ballots and claimed he would withhold funding from the state if they, quote, ‘want to go down this voter fraud path.’ Yeah, you’d hate for us to get rid of our foolproof system of showing up to an abandoned library where an octogenarian looks for your name in a big binder, can’t find it, then finally says, ‘I don’t know. Just go ahead.’” — SETH MEYERS
“And, by the way, Michigan isn’t sending out ballots, they’re sending out mail-in ballot applications, just like a bunch of Republican states are also doing. So clearly Trump is just looking for an excuse to avoid losing. As the election gets closer, Trump is going to get crazier. He’s going to be like one of those second-graders playing sports. [imitating Trump] ‘The results from Wisconsin don’t count. I didn’t say I was ready. Didn’t say I was ready. OK, I’m ready now — Florida, I win!’” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Georgia Edition)
“The Georgia Department of Public Health posted a bar chart that appeared to show that new confirmed cases had dropped each day over two weeks. Good news, until it turned out that chart put the days in the wrong order. The Georgia Department of Public Health is just a little confused. It explains their sign, ‘Put a mask on your elbow and cough directly into the face.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, we know Georgia did this because they left the dates on the chart. Apparently, in the Peach State, the calendar goes April 30, May 4, May 6, May 5, May 2, May 7, and then April 26. Come on, Georgia. At least try to hide the lie. When your parents come home to a house full of teenagers and alcohol, you don’t say, ‘No, I didn’t have a party while you were gone. My party is scheduled for next Friday, which, as you know, here in Georgia, was last Tuesday — and I have coronavirus.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But take it from me, Georgia: cheating only hurts you in the long run. Yeah. When I was in school, I forged straight A’s on my biology report card instead of studying, and to this day, I still don’t know where my labia is.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Karen Chee, a writer with “Late Night with Seth Meyers,” shares how she’s celebrating Asian and Pacific Islander American Heritage Month by doing things like being “grateful” to a man who tells her to “go back to Korea” — since, she notes, South Korea has controlled the coronavirus epidemic.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Joe Biden will chat about the latest malarkey with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “A Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The New York Times Book Review’s Summer Reading special has its selections for the best things to read during the warm-weather months.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
