'Harry sat obediently behind Meghan like a lapdog – that front cover made me puke'

I went to the supermarket recently to purchase an ointment for a stinging nettle rash.

It worked perfectly – only one application.

Which makes me wonder, what medicine works to get rid of the ‘Harry and Meghan rash’?

I’d appreciate any recommendations – it’s particularly irritating, inflammatory, and doesn’t seem to go away.

It seems the disillusioned editors at TIME Magazine who have named Harry and Meghan their top 100 most influential, might also need some medicinal help.

Even the cover wants to make me puke.

Harry’s seemingly airbrushed face and suspiciously fuller ginger mop are all too much for my eyes as he obediently sits behind Meghan like the good lapdog he is.

I’m intrigued: I’d love to find out what makes this pair of sanctimonious, overprivileged, overpaid, and insanely useless couple in any way “influential”?

What have they actually done that hasn’t just served their own interests?

Perhaps it was that interview with Oprah earlier this year in which the couple lampooned their family to millions of viewers?

All the while, Harry’s grandfather, the Duke of Edinburgh, was dying in hospital.

Or maybe it was when they signed various lucrative deals with Spotify, Apple TV+, Netflix, and starred in that disgustingly cringeworthy video with ‘comedian’ Melissa McCarthy?

Okay, fine.

Possibly when Harry accepted an executive role at a start-up tech firm, despite holding no relevant qualifications aside from scraping his A-levels?

You’re being really difficult!

Right, this is my last guess.

I think it was when he left Buckingham Palace, his servants, silver platters, chauffeurs, royal jet, and 5* tax-payer funded lifestyle in pursuit of privacy with perhaps one of America’s most ravenously fame-hungry C-list celebrities?

Ah, well. I don’t know.

But, clearly the big wigs at TIME Magazine think these twits deserve the same title as Dorottya Redai, for example.

A pioneer for LGBTQ+ rights in Hungary, standing against Prime Minister Viktor Orban’s anti-LGBTQ+ hate campaign.

Ms Redai is not royalty; she’s never used her family name to bring about change; she’s never signed $multi-million deals with the likes of Netflix to boost her profile and bank balance; she’s someone that’s a made difference without nepotism and vast amounts of money.

These are the people we should recognise, where they hold authentic influence and impact positive change for altruistic reasons.

In describing the couple, the Magazine said: “In a world where everyone has an opinion about people they don’t know, the duke and duchess have compassion for the people they don’t know.”

Continuing: “They don’t just opine. They run towards the struggle.”

My response: the horses guarding Buckingham Palace spew less sh*t.

Enlighten me!

What struggle do they run towards?

As Harry’s grandfather struggled in hospital, they slashed their family in a tacky tell-all trash-a-thon of the Queen and everything she’s tirelessly worked towards for 69 years.

These dullards could barely handle the pressure for five minutes.

It could even be when the celebrity couple issued a wish-washy statement on the Afghanistan crisis, claiming to be left “speechless” and feeling “many layers of pain”.

Are they running “towards the struggle”?

No.

Instead, they urge their braindead followers to support organisations without detailing anything they’re doing to help.

They prefer grandiose and compassionate gestures that project their heroism, when in fact they’re just asking other people to get off their backsides.

So don’t tell me they run towards “struggle”.

Some of you reading this might think I’m being a bit harsh.

Well, tell Twitter that.

It’s not just the tabby cat parked on top of Harry’s head that’s caught everyone’s attention, it seems others are also doubting the couple’s so-called ‘influence’.

The world is starting to see beyond the carefully crafted and expensive PR gaze that the couple have masterminded.

If you’re in any doubt of what most Brits think, take a look at recent polling and the mortifying reaction at this year’s National Television Awards.

YouGov asked 1,667 adults in the UK in August who their favourite royal is, and currently the couple sit uncomfortably above Prince Andrew, resting at 34% for Prince Harry and a measly 26% for Meghan Markle – dropping dramatically since the start of the year.

Adding to the hilarity and spiralling popularity, the audience at this year’s NTAs booed the couple as their interview with Oprah Winfrey was played.

Yet, the couple who seemingly live in la-la land, must believe they’re globally revered icons that has the world drooling at their feet.

Why else would they humiliate themselves in that embarrassingly hubristic magazine cover that reveals everything we need to know about them:

Now, you must tell me where I can get that rash treatment.

I need it urgently.

Do you have a story you’re itching for Ryan-Mark to cover? Email: ryanmark.parsons@reachplc.com

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Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk