They are the classic lines from 007 that left us shaken and stirred… but critics say the modern James Bond movies don’t have enough gags.
Ex-Bond star Dame Judi Dench, who played the spy’s boss M, reckons Daniel Craig’s gloomy version of 007 lacks the side-splitting gags that made the early films a giggle.
As the Daily Star reported yesterday, she says: “The script isn’t so funny, I know, I agree.” So, to keep you smiling James Moore recalls some of Ho Ho 7’s dirty dozen wisecracks…
Honey Ryder: “Are you looking for shells?” Bond: “No, I’m just looking.” (Dr No, Sean Connery)
Minister of Defence: “Bond! What do you think you’re doing?” Bond: “Keeping the British end up, sir.” (The Spy Who Loved Me, Roger Moore)
(Image: Getty Images)
Pussy Galore: “My name is Pussy Galore.” Bond: “I must be dreaming.” (Goldfinger, Sean Connery)
Xenia Onatopp: “You don’t need the gun, Commander.” Bond: “Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.” (GoldenEye, Pierce Brosnan)
Moneypenny: “You’ve never taken me to dinner…”
Bond: “I would, you know. Only M would have me court martialled for… illegal use of government equipment.” (Dr No, Sean Connery)
(Image: PA)
Bond: “Well my dear, I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle.”
Jenny Flex: “Yes, I love an early morning ride.” Bond: “Well, I’m an early riser myself.” (A View To A Kill, Roger Moore)
Max Zorin: “You slept well?” Bond: “A little restless but I got off eventually.” (A View To A Kill, Roger Moore)
Irma Bunt: “Is anything the matter, Sir Hilary?” Bond: “Just a slight stiffness coming on… in the shoulder.” (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, George Lazenby)
(Image: Publicity Picture)
O’Toole: “Hi, I’m Plenty.” James Bond: “But of course you are.” O’Toole: “Plenty O’Toole.”
Bond: “Named after your father, perhaps? (Diamonds Are Forever, Sean Connery)
Verity: “I see you handle your weapon well.” Bond: “I have been known to keep my tip up.”(Die Another Day, Pierce Brosnan)
(Image: The Hollywood Archive / Avalon)
Vijay: “I hear the Island is exclusively for women.” Bond: “Sexual discrimination, I will definitely have to pay it a visit.” (Octopussy, Roger Moore)
Bond: “I was wrong about you.” Christmas Jones: “How so?” Bond: “I thought Christmas only comes once a year.” (The World Is Not Enough, Pierce Brosnan)
Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
