Reality TV star Joey Essex has bravely opened up about losing his mum to suicide in a new BBC interview about grief and loss.
Appearing on the TOWIE star’s hour-long BBC documentary which aired on Thursday (June 3), 30-year-old Joey discussed his mum’s suicide which occurred when he was just ten years old.
Starting off by taking viewers back to the heartbreaking day when he found out the news from his dad, Joey said: “I remember the day I got told my mum was gone.
“I walked up to my nan’s house and opened the door and then my dad answered. I remember my dad bending down and grabbing my head and telling me ‘mummy’s gone’.
(Image: BBC)
“And I remember that and I’ll never forget that. I remember it like it was yesterday. It’s just a thought that will never go”.
After finding out the devastating news, Joey says that “I remember just running into my nan’s kitchen and running my head into a pillow and just screaming and not really understanding what my dad meant.”
“Just hearing the words ‘mummy’s gone’ was enough. I just said to myself ‘It ain’t true”, before the star understandably broke down in tears whilst recalling the traumatic time.
(Image: BBC)
Joey continues, saying that he’s kept a “lot of stuff inside” and things that have happened to him that he “hasn’t been able to talk about”.
When his mum took her own life Joey admits he’s “never been able to deal with it”, keeping his pain “bottled up for twenty years”.
The I’m a Celebrity star says he’s suffered from “panic attacks”, “anxiety” and has subsequently “pushed people away”.
(Image: BBC)
Speaking to his therapist on the heart-breaking show, Joey revealed the grief of losing his mum affects his personal relationships – and that he pushes people away as he doesn’t want to put them through what he goes through.
Getting tearful during a difficult therapy session, Joey talks about abandonment, saying “If she [his mum] loved me that much why would she leave me”, and that the question of ‘why’ she left will always haunt him.
Joey, who initially struggled to talk about his mum to his therapist in the BBC special, had also told the mental health expert that he would choose his mum over anything.
However, eight weeks into his therapy Joey was pleased to tell his therapist that he felt “happier” as a result of the sessions and that he’s “more in control of himself” and more “open” after initially struggling to talk about the deep-rooted issue.
Social media has also rushed to praise the star as they watched the powerful documentary – with many flocking to Twitter to air their love and support.
(Image: BBC)
One fan tweeted: “Pass me the tissues” whilst attaching three sad-face emojis.
A second viewer was inspired by Joey’s bravery, and wrote in: “Strong man, Plays for laughs but he’s smart, vulnerable and human.”
A third was very touched by the star sharing his feeling to the nation, and penned: “Just watched @JoeyEssex_ documentary #griefandme heartbreaking but also so heartwarming to see how @JoeyEssex deals with the most painful thing in life… grief.
“You have inspired me to always think of the good memories and know better days will come.”
Joey Essex: Grief and Me available to watch now on BBC iPlayer.
Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
